Self destructive

I'm self destructive. I eat too much and don't do anything to change it.
I stay in a relationship with a guy who has not worked in 4 years (even though there is lots of work in his field) because he always seems to have some illness stopping him.
My dog died in 2013. I want another dog
He keeps telling me that there is no way we are getting another dog.
I need a dog

I won't spend any money on getting my haircut, but I look like poop on a platter.

Is anyone else self destructive?

Get a pound puppy, on the way there get your hair cut at a cheap little place. I know I usually feel a little better doing something special for myself. When I hit a major depression 2 yrs ago my husband brought me to the pound to get a dog to distract me and cuddle with me.

I am very self destructive at times.

Try and talk him into a dog. Add far as the relationship goes weigh out the pros and cons. Does he really support you and yr illness? Is he freeloading? Just ask yr self some of these questions. It's really easy to eat alot especially when depressed. Maybe go out for a walk everyday if even for just a couple blocks. You'll feel better. Good luck to you. Hug

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You are not alone. I am self destructive as well. I am not happy with my figure and do nothing to change it. Its difficult. I like to eat what I want, when I want. Food is comforting to me. I just really like tasty food lol. And I don't like to exercise at all. I tried eating healthy andd counting calories. That lasted not even a week and it started stressing me out and made me feel worse.

Maybe try starting with small changes...

I am pretty hard on myself. I have a low self-esteem. It's easy for me to think bad of myself. I'm trying to work on myself, but it seems like I'm kind of obsessing about my dx (BP2). Its hard not to though when your trying to figure out if the way you act, think, and feel is the dx or your personality.

Sorry about all of that. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I sure hope you start feeling better

Oh, and about the dog, I agree with the above poster, you should go to the pound and adopt one. They can be very therapeutic, as I'm sure you know. It'll give you more motivation to get out and walk, too :-)

And definitely go and get your hair cut.. It'll make you feel much better. :-)

As far as the bf goes... weigh out your pros and cons. Have a serious talk with him.

I hope all goes well and you start feeling better!

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I am starting to see what a selfish a-hole that he is

He is pulling the poor me crap..Oh I am trouble breathing so there is no way a dog is coming here.....oh it is too hard for me

Dumbass was a welder and breathed in heavens knows what toxins
he smoked for over 20 years (stopped now) and imagine the toxins in that

I am disgusted by him

Maybe it is time to kick to the curb???

Is he financially supporting you? Do you both have assets in common? Are you interested in salvaging the relationship?

If there are no strings attached, then I will say the following...

One, Two, Three...KICK!

Okay, please before ending it make sure that the depression isn't a major factor but just " the straw that broke the cammles back"

Get this, I am a major self-destructer

I pay the bills, it is my house, I own both of our cars, I pay the whole thing

No assets in common

So, why do I do this?

r010159, I like your style

SOS, are we self punishers?

How do we change this?

All help appreciated

You have to be a gate-keeper of the negative destructive thinking. (easier said than done, I know) and you have to come up with a bunch of positive things to argue with that little bastard in your head when it comes up.

Write them down. The good statements you'll say back when that voice says;
you're not good enough, you're worthless, you can't do it alone, you're fat, you're damaged... etc.

Fight it. That's what I learned and did when I was well. And that's what I'm going to start doing again.

Try to be positive hun. Everything will get better

Does anyone journal?

I've stayed in unhealthy relationships for way too long. In the end as much as you can't seem to move on, you'll feel better when he's gone, eventually! You have too much of your own to deal with, to be dealing with his laziness.

Get a pound puppy for sure! I've always wanted a dog, and can't wait to get one! Don't let some deadbeat hold you back.

Get a hair cut! It's important to take care of yourself in every way, physical appearance matters. If you feel like you look good, it can't be another reason you feel bad.

I am completely self destructive in so many ways. Eating is a tough one for sure. Just try to find other things to do, walking, cleaning, something you like to do, make a list, and try hard to attempt at least one thing before heading back to the kitchen.

Hbomb, do you mean as gatekeeper, I just don't let them in?

I like the idea of fighting it. It sort of makes it a competition
with myself and I like that

When I have internal goals, it gives me a sense of control

Sounds like you already have things figured out. Put your needs both physical and emotional first.
If that guy in your life keeps pissin' and moanin' and not being of any help, DROP-KICK him.
If you can afford it, get a shelter dog. They are the best and and will do your heart good. Good luck.

MM, you made me feel good when you said that I sound like I already have things worked out

Made me smile

Do you have a T?
I ask because that can be a major help in getting rid of the dead weight, him that is.
Are you keeping him around cause you are afraid there is no one else? I'll bet that once he is gone you will start to feel better and a dog will be a much better support with your depression. Once you start feeling better you will probably start making other changes, like eating less, getting your hair cut.
If he can not afford the insurance don't let him manipulate you into keeping a car for "poor me, what do I do? " give him 24 hours to pack and drive him to a shelter exchange him for a pond puppy!

I'm with the others. You do have it worked out already, you just need some encouragement. Dump the chump. He may be ill, but he's certainly not doing anything to own it.

You deserve both a dog and a haircut. Also walking is very therapeutic so don't knock it til you've tried it.

StandUp, are you doing any better today ?

Hey MM

feeling encouraged

feeling stronger

feeling safe here

I'm getting a dog!!!!
I'm getting a dog!!!!!!!!!
I am soooooooo happy.

I took everyone's advice and said you have two choices
1) we get a dog
2) you find a new place to live

Went and looked at some today.
I don't want a young dog, want a nice older one

Yahoooooo

I'm getting a dog

Thanks so much to everyone who helped me

Your support and advice gave me the courage to tell
the dumbass that there are two choices:
we get a dog
you leave

Thank you all so much

Can't you get a new boyfriend? Like someone who doesn't whine all the time, and maybe even helps you feel good about yourself?
Life is short, play hard.

I eat way too much... I gained 40 pounds and I cut myself... my life sucks

Omg. You pay the bills. You own the house and the cars. Smh. If you want a dog you can damn well get a dog!
I guess you don't know this but you are very much in control of your life. You got this! Lol

It reminds me of something I read the other day (I'm paraphrasing):
If you're so good at loving the wrong one, imagine how great you'd be loving the right one.

Obviously you're pretty strong and awesome. Cheers!

I am extremely self destructive. I ask myself, why??? You are not alone, and many of us are because we don't feel worthy. I am not going to give you any advice of what I am thinking bc it would be out of line. BUT YOU are WORTHY, BEAUTIFUL, AND DESERVE MORE. Treat yourself with love and care, and brush yourself off. I tell myself these things everyday to help and get better. They are true, just start believing, and things will start changing. Be strong enough to say, I am going to do the opposite today of what I usually do. I tell myself that and it actually works.