[~Christina]

why people feel " shame " for having BP or needing to go IP ..I just don't understand this. I have been IP many times and felt no shame at all.

I choose not to tell the world about my BP but I also did not choose to tell the world I had cancer ...

As far as Shame for going IP ??? Should someone feel shame for going to the local hospital for any other illness ? or surgery? I think not.

I dont mean to be rude but I just dont get it.

[Hbomb0903]

I think the shame for me comes from the fallout of my decisions when I'm hypo and when I get depressed. My depressions are just insane. Thank god they have only come at their blackest 5 times now in my life. But each time, my life has literally fallen to shambles around me.

It embarasses me because I am jealous and angry that this is my fate. To go through this over and over with some normalcy between. I don't want to live life waiting for the hammer to fall. I have to find a way. So I'm not so much ashamed as I am horrified. It's like a bad movie.

[Trippin2.0]

I'm interested in seeing the responses, I'm also curious because its never something I've been able to "get"...

I applaud you being so comfortable with your BP.

For me, I suppose it's not so much about "shame". Rather, I feel an unease that I might be "unfairly" judged/penalized for having a handicap that is not necessarily in my control. E.g. an employer might not want to hire someone if he knew about the BP, even if the candidate had been stabilized for a long period of time and had a respectable track record.

Information spreads, people gossip, etc. so I feel that it's in my best interest to keep my BP between myself and only a handful of trustworthy people who need to/have a right to know (e.g. medical team, immediate family, and boyfriend).

[Hong Kong Fluey]

I gave up shame for lent.

Chucked it out with guilt and self loathing. I have discovered that, strangely, after 20 odd years like this they are doing me no good?

Quelle surprise, no?

[wildflowerchild25]

I've been conditioned to pretend everything is ok for my entire life. When it's not.

I feel like I should do everything on my own and I feel weak for not being able to.

For me this extends to physical illness as well. Haven't seen a doctor in five years. Even then I only went a couple of times and then just dealt with the back pain on my own.

[Standup2me]

I don't think that it is shame.
It is the scorn of society as a whole, so we learn to hide it
The judgements, the finger-pointing
The hurtful words: nut-case, crazy, head-case, freak, rubber room person...there are so many

I work in the oil-patch, and it would be more acceptable to go to work and tell people
that I have an STD, rather than bipolar.
People seem to think that it is all in your head (no pun intended)

HKF has it right. We should only feel guilt and shame when we've done something
wrong.

BP is not wrong, it is what makes us unique

I feel guilt and embarrassment for letting myself get to that point and for failing to cope in the outside world. My workplace is very close, so they all know exactly where I am when Im off work and to me that is an embarrassment. Some of those people are not the most trustworthy, but I cant stop the gossip and it goes further than my work, it gets into my leisure time activity as well. I get paranoid in both mood extremes so that can cause some trouble before I end up inpatient, which leads to guilt and embarrassment again.

I hate that I cant do my duties at home while I am inpatient, I hate that I cant work, I hate that I got to that point that I needed hospitalisation. Anger at myself comes through as well. My pdocs say its not different to having a physical illness and needing hospitalisation but I dont completely believe that. I feel like maybe I could have done more or tried harder, even though I try my hardest almost everyday.

I find it hard to forgive myself when I "fail" in the outside world. Im aware this is something I need to work on. I have so much to get through, I've been asking for extra support since November in regards to therapy but its just not been able to be done.

[Victoria'smom]

I wwould never say I have shame but to me hospital is where people go to die.

[MagicsMom]

I don't feel shame for having BP. I feel stupid that no one picked up on it until I was 44. I feel guilt that my husband has to put up with me but then again he has severe PTSD so it balances out.

I do not tell anyone other than family (and not even all of them) about it and really only discuss it with my mom and my husband.

I feel a lot of things but shame is not one of them thankfully.

I don't feel shame at all for either the bp or for going to the hospital, probably why I'm quick to suggest inpatient to folks who seem to be in great distress. That's not to say my drs and I don't work hard on my stability but if I needed to go I would.

[Lobster Hands]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

why people feel " shame " for having BP or needing to go IP ..I just don't understand this. I have been IP many times and felt no shame at all.

I choose not to tell the world about my BP but I also did not choose to tell the world I had cancer ...

As far as Shame for going IP ??? Should someone feel shame for going to the local hospital for any other illness ? or surgery? I think not.

I dont mean to be rude but I just dont get it.

I don't necessarily feel shame...I just don't want people to worry about me. I don't want to become more of a burden.

Then again I can feel shame. I mean a year ago I was the best athlete on my team and going to clubs every night with "buds" and had good grades and my teachers thought I was wonderful to have in class. Now I dropped out, gained 70 lbs in 3/4 of a year, dropped the sport, and have lost all my friends. My shame may be better defined as fear, fear that everybody I know will find out about me. I fear because my coach is a blabbermouth and he shares everything with everybody, and he talks behind your back.

I shouldn't be shameful, I'm twice the person as anybody I'm afraid of being made fun of by.

Thanks Christina, you helped me feel less embarrassed and more empowered.

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk

[Lobster Hands]

Maybe it's from growing up and asking to many questions to my parents. They'd always respond,"I don't care, look it up." Or "what's wrong with you" or being told by my parents and siblings that my only couple of friends were bad to hang around with because they didn't have parents...and so much more.

All this added together builds up just a tad bit of shame I think. I could never have feelings in my house or I'd be shunned. How could you not feel shame when you are taught, since a baby, to ignore feelings?

RRRRRAAAAAAANNNNNNTTTT......!

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk

[~Christina]

Such a wide variety of responses ! Thank you everyone . I look forward to reading more

[medicalfox]

It would really depend on how people treat/view you and how you view yourself. If you are surrounded by people that view your illness negatively you most likely will feel shameful of it. People's negativity can obstruct a positive outlook on yourself causing a person to experience shame in their illness.

I'm not embarrassed of my illness or being hospitalized, I just do my best to cope and not let negative feelings influence me. I don't like my illness nor have pride for it, but I accept that I have it and try my best to accommodate my limitations.

[live2ski66]

Christina, I totally agree with you. We have a limited number of resources to treat our illness. We should take advantage of every single one without being ashamed.

[Curiosity77]

I felt shame after I went to hospital because I got reported as a certified patient and disciplined by the regulatory college for nurses because of my admission. I felt like I needed to go, but I have been repeatedly shamed and humiliated professionally as a result. There is no way I would even consider hospital again as long as I am a nurse, maybe if I stop nursing, but otherwise no way. I think it's really wrong the way health care professionals are treated for their own mental health concerns. It's like we are held up to some unfair and impossible standard, even though we are only human. I came up against a lot of stigma, and had my professionalism and character repeatedly questioned. So I felt shame and humiliation, which has really made it difficult to recover. So, I don't think I should have to feel shame about hospitalization, but the reality of my situation is I would feel shame if I had to go back. Hopefully things will never get to that point again. I hate stigma and misinformation

[Noodles_320]

I used to feel a great deal of shame, like I was so different, not normal. Until one of my doc's put it into perspective. She asked me one day if I broke my arm what would I do? I said go to the hospital and get it fixed. She then asked if I would feel shame?

The light bulb went on at that very moment. No shame anymore.