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  #651  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 07:05 AM
Honeydew1 Honeydew1 is offline
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Feeling rested and good. My pdoc prescribed Seroquel 25mg. Also, I'm on a Bioidentical hormone. My PA said that it has an all natural side to it that helps with depression and sleep. She said I might need Seroquel. Just hoping when I transition down I won't crash like I've been doing the past two years.
All is good.

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  #652  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 08:53 AM
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Could sleep last night. Paced the floor until 4 am. I'm so tired. See pdoc this afternoon, I guess we'll have to talk about this. I had 2 good nights and now I'm back to 4 hours a night.
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  #653  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 10:58 AM
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Angry1541 Angry1541 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plzsti View Post
Could sleep last night. Paced the floor until 4 am. I'm so tired. See pdoc this afternoon, I guess we'll have to talk about this. I had 2 good nights and now I'm back to 4 hours a night.

By good nights, what's good? I get 5-6 on a normal night and closer 3-4 (because of sleep disturbances, tossing/turning, waking up to pee, whatever)periodically -- like lately.
  #654  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 11:00 AM
Mental reward Mental reward is offline
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Been up since 2:30 am and it's now 12 pm. Saw my acupuncturist today therapist in an hour and pdoc yesterday. Changed my meds. Went from 600 msg lithium to 450.. Slowly weening..stopped Wellbutrin, started start terra, lessened seroquel from 50 to. 25 mg..still on lamictal. I'm a little out there. Kinda super focused, and now after accupuncture oddly relaxed. Not exactly sure how I feel at all. A stressful situation turned out uber positive. Don't feel like rambling to people anymore today, so seeing my therapist sounds annoying. I'm annoying myself. It's nice to not be hungry from the annoying lithium. The strattera must be blocking the gross compulsive hunger lithium induces. So not cool. It's nice to not feel that and feel normal in that department as I have gained 15 lbs in two months. No more. So I guess I kinda feel all over the place. But ok. I'm ok.
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  #655  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 11:11 AM
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F u lithium f u seroquel. welcome disgusting wine . just cut the top of my finger of accidentally too much to do parents arrival imminent for the second time. pissed off at my cat I have two triangular fingers oh well. put some music on get this job done. Anyone else had the forsight to do wills and funereal stuff . I feel it is good to be organised now organise work so behind . Well I can't keep mysel to myself . Hmmm flies are annoying ad so am i
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  #656  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 11:17 AM
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Panic attack after panic attack. This is too hard sometimes.
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  #657  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 12:24 PM
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Disgusted and disappointed with the people in my life that supposedly love me.
Selfish, selfish people
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  #658  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 07:52 PM
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Wasn't such a great day. Saw pdoc and it seems my BP has company BPD. Really not sure how I feel about that one.
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  #659  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Plzsti View Post
Wasn't such a great day. Saw pdoc and it seems my BP has company BPD. Really not sure how I feel about that one.
Oh ya, and I've been started on Latuda.
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  #660  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 08:02 PM
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I had one of the best nights sleep last night..felt good!
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  #661  
Old Jun 17, 2014, 10:41 PM
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I'm becoming more and more sure I may have an eating disorder but I'm too scared to get help. I've told one person IRL and she agrees with me but I don't trust my t. I'm afraid if I tell my pdoc he'll take me off the topomax since that's sort of what started me on this path in the first place. Ugh.
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  #662  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 12:42 AM
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Just stopping in to say hi! It has been both a positive last couple of weeks (new job at the hospital down the road from me) but also a rough last couple of weeks (car broke down, has cost 3k to get fixed).
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  #663  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 12:53 AM
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Originally Posted by blwi3310 View Post
Just stopping in to say hi! It has been both a positive last couple of weeks (new job at the hospital down the road from me) but also a rough last couple of weeks (car broke down, has cost 3k to get fixed).
Car repairs are the worst. Some of my biggest stressors are car/finance related. Mine was recently stolen and then turned up after about 10 days. Congrats on the new job though!
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  #664  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 01:05 AM
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Car repairs are the worst. Some of my biggest stressors are car/finance related. Mine was recently stolen and then turned up after about 10 days. Congrats on the new job though!
Same here honestly they are probably my top 2. Glad to hear you car was found. When I was 14 years old my mom and me were in the process of moving to a new house and someone stole our car on Christmas Eve. I remember my best friends dad being so good to us. He gave us all the money he had on him and the keys to his truck. They found our car about a week later luckily.

Also thank you, I start there on Monday. It will be really nice as it is closer to home and pays better (plus better benefits).
  #665  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 01:13 AM
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Feeling ashamed. I posted a comment in another thread, and it was pointed out that it was ignorant. When i read it back, i agree with that person and i wish i never posted it. But there have been lots of views and replies to that thread, so i know a lot of people have seen it. I posted an apology in the thread, but i don't know if people will check back and see it. So i want to apologize here too. I need this place, and i don't want to do anything to ruin things. I just want to be a support, and be supported. I respect and value everyone here greatly,

I wish i was not so sensitive

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  #666  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 02:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Curiosity77 View Post
Feeling ashamed. I posted a comment in another thread, and it was pointed out that it was ignorant. When i read it back, i agree with that person and i wish i never posted it. But there have been lots of views and replies to that thread, so i know a lot of people have seen it. I posted an apology in the thread, but i don't know if people will check back and see it. So i want to apologize here too. I need this place, and i don't want to do anything to ruin things. I just want to be a support, and be supported. I respect and value everyone here greatly,

I wish i was not so sensitive

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Don't beat yourself up eh....people on here know everyone is not well and things don't always come out the way we want. Its one of the reasons we're here, to get n give our opinion.

keep posting and don't stress, we're all allowed to be human you know.

((((((((hugs)))))))))))

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  #667  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 04:36 AM
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I'm half manic. It's really weird. Idk what to think/do. I wrote a 5 page life story/history for my pdoc, omitting only what I couldn't remember. It's kinda scary to read. I honestly didn't think I was that crazy until I read it... I've had some pretty strange delusions. I don't get them often but still... At least not the weird ones. Ok well this is probably too long. I'm done now.

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  #668  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 10:36 AM
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I had some really bad nightmares last night
Plus, I was sleepwalking, which I have not done in a while
  #669  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 10:43 AM
Notnrml85 Notnrml85 is offline
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I'm seriously wondering how people who are sensitive, defensive & already paranoid that everyone secretly hates them, even friends & family... How doesn't someone w/those issues get to the point of not being upset or thrown into a crazy mixed episode every time someone says or does something about you that is either a.) hurtful & true, but should have been kept to themselves or b.) hurtful & completely untrue to the point of having a complete misconception of the kind of person I am. Either way it pushes me to the point of suicidal ideation sometimes & sever manic irritability. That "sticks & stones" rhyme is bs. Words hurt way worse than physical pain or maybe at least equal to being beaten the crap out of.

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  #670  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 02:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lonelychick View Post
I'm becoming more and more sure I may have an eating disorder but I'm too scared to get help. I've told one person IRL and she agrees with me but I don't trust my t. I'm afraid if I tell my pdoc he'll take me off the topomax since that's sort of what started me on this path in the first place. Ugh.
I hear what your saying....BUT. Don't you hate that when people do that ! I have to be honest to be a friend, but you need to trust your pdoc will have your overall best interests at heart here. I don't know how much weight you have added, but if he is any good he is going to notice, and well, you don't want to add another problem into the mix if you can help it; you know like diabetes etc.

Be straight with your pdoc. "listen doc, I don't want to change meds for XYZ reasons, but I am concerned about my weight gain which is ABC. Is there anything we can do about it without having to change the ........."

It's your body, but he has the knowledge of the drugs. Make him work for you.

And hugs with the weight gain thing. I know I put on a stack of weight with the Seroquel and am still trying to shift it all off. Can do.

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Success and failure are two of many words we get to define, not society. Our success depends on definition and intentions, not actions


  #671  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 06:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Curiosity77 View Post
Feeling ashamed. I posted a comment in another thread, and it was pointed out that it was ignorant. When i read it back, i agree with that person and i wish i never posted it. But there have been lots of views and replies to that thread, so i know a lot of people have seen it. I posted an apology in the thread, but i don't know if people will check back and see it. So i want to apologize here too. I need this place, and i don't want to do anything to ruin things. I just want to be a support, and be supported. I respect and value everyone here greatly,

I wish i was not so sensitive

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Don't sweat it. We all have opinions and we shouldn't be afraid to voice them.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You felt the need to apologize, you did now it's time to let it go and move on.
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Don't give up
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  #672  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 07:00 PM
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Doing good. Probably slightly mixed. So tired all week. I think that last week's lack of sleep is catching up with me. My tattoo is healing nicely. All I want to do is sleep but I'm overly agitated and thinking all over the place the only reason sleep is coming is cause I've been elevating and icing my foot and I won't move. Trying to heal it quicker. It's almost time for bed for me.

Tig
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  #673  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 08:54 PM
Anonymous200280
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Originally Posted by blwi3310 View Post
Just stopping in to say hi! It has been both a positive last couple of weeks (new job at the hospital down the road from me) but also a rough last couple of weeks (car broke down, has cost 3k to get fixed).
My car cost $3000 to fix at the start of the year too - stressful times! It didnt help my mood at the time at all. I feel for you. *hug*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Curiosity77 View Post
Feeling ashamed. I posted a comment in another thread, and it was pointed out that it was ignorant. When i read it back, i agree with that person and i wish i never posted it. But there have been lots of views and replies to that thread, so i know a lot of people have seen it. I posted an apology in the thread, but i don't know if people will check back and see it. So i want to apologize here too. I need this place, and i don't want to do anything to ruin things. I just want to be a support, and be supported. I respect and value everyone here greatly,

I wish i was not so sensitive

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Dont worry people will still be supportive to you, despite your different ideas. I have found that with myself, my opinions differ from many here and I cop the odd abusive pm but I still recieve a lot of support when I ask for it. I need to make sure I stay on the Bipolar section of this forum as the rest frustrate me and it comes across in my replies.

So interesting week for me... Last week my boyfriend and I broke it off. Im not exactly sure why. I've asked him for clarification but no reply as of yet - perhaps he doesnt know why either?

Saturday night I genuinely forgot to take my meds. I put them on the table, when I had dinner they were no longer on the table - so I assumed I had taken them, not so. In the morning I found them on the floor... I dont know why it didnt click, I didnt sleep a wink. It sent me straight into a mixed episode for 4 days. I was so worried I had been triggered by the break up and I was going to end up a failure back in hospital. But with the support of a few friends I managed to get through and even achieve a few things despite my mood state. By Wednesday I felt tons better, same with today. I would say I am on the lower side of baseline. I am so relieved the mixed has passed!

I was going to go to group today but I slept in. Day off work so time to work on myself. Really my only goal for today is to work my horse, if I do that I should be proud of myself.
Thanks for this!
Curiosity77
  #674  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 09:21 PM
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Hello, hello! I have accomplished a couple things today. I went to a doctor appointment, I went to Denny's, and dropped my daughter off at her freind's house. I also made an appointment at the Apple Store to get my computer fixed tomorrow. Now I need to get some exersize by chasing my cat around the house. LOL
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  #675  
Old Jun 18, 2014, 09:44 PM
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Curiosity77 Curiosity77 is offline
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One of my coworkers told me that everyone at work thinks i'm really conservative. Which is totally not true, i'm just quiet, mostly because of anxiety. Also i can't drink, so they seem to think i never drank in the past. They are so wrong about me. I'm careful to always be professional, so they don't really know me. I'm sure i've done more wild stuff than most of them combined, it just doesn't show. There is a Cure lyric that goes "the more you know, the less you show." I think i know a lot. If they only knew!

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"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?"

"Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me."
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