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#76
Apr 26, 2014, 03:57 PM
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I'm so glad I work short shifts and work no more than 3 x a week. Work gets to be anxiety-provoking. I didn't shower today before I left for my job because I was dragging my feet all morning. I didn't have time to self-groom a whole lot by the time it was time to hit the road.
 Sent from my SGH-T679 using Tapatalk 2
__________________
We will never give up hope 
Last edited by in-balance; Apr 26, 2014 at 04:13 PM. |
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#78
Apr 26, 2014, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
I think trees need to fear us all because there are times I drive to work and think... Hmm that one would work... Oh that one too, just swerve off ... I'm not the Lorax I don't speak for the trees... Just the depressed. Yes I know what it feels like to not be able to breathe or think or do anything but scream. Nobody should beat them self up over being tired and sleeping... Zoloft didn't do well for me either. When depression hits me that hard I am usually mixed mania and freaking out. Sleep just might help. Sent from the dark side of the moon |
 charo224488, hiddenfriend
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#79
Apr 26, 2014, 06:59 PM
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I am doing brillantly. Not doped up like I thought I would be on these meds, infact I wish I had upped them 8 months ago! Needing to do a lot of behavioural activation to keep the low level anxiety and depression at bay, which can be hard but it is helping. Back to paid work this week. I am nervous but excited.
Hope you all have a lovely day. |
| charo224488, Phoenix_1, swheaton
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#80
Apr 26, 2014, 08:03 PM
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Med titration is making me sleepy...that and talking online til 230am but that was worth it! I feel ok though, its only been a couple of days. Lots of stuff coming up to do regarding my son's wedding in July, gotta push my self to get into the swing of things.
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#81
Apr 26, 2014, 08:48 PM
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After 3 months in this rough NW, I finally got seen by a psych practitioner.
Turns out he's from my area of the US, newly here just 2 months. Good. Common ground. I'm feeling better in that he spent over an hour with me and was keen to observe that the lithium looked perhaps high, and saw no reason for it. So will taper down. He also said he didn't see bipolar as any right diagnosis. Thank you. No cycles, no ups, downs, no extreme behaviors. He added for the greater problem of depression, Cymbalta. He also upped the Aricept to 10 mg. We shall see. This is progress.
__________________
Traveling west back toward Eden (interestingly the wise men in the Gospel account of Jesus' birth came from the East), has been full of confrontation with the trials and tribulations of living outside the Garden. She is an artist without doubt disappointed that paradise was not as close in 1969 as she and so many others hoped it was. Her work is now filled with the reality of humanity's failure to achieve the prophetic dream of her song, but never without the hope that that day will yet come. Last edited by PoorPrincess; Apr 26, 2014 at 09:01 PM. |
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#82
Apr 26, 2014, 10:12 PM
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Looked for a dog to adopt
Could not find the right one Is the universe sending me a message? |
 PoorPrincess
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#83
Apr 27, 2014, 11:52 AM
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I slept last night for 8 hours. So thankful for that I was getting grouchy instead of hypo as I usually would. I fid quit the welbutrin 2 days ago so all I am taking is viibryd and my thyroid med levothyroxine. Hopefully sleeping at night continues. Im not a person that needs 8 hours I actually think for myself its too much as I feel sluggish like I slept too much. I usually do best getting around 5 a night. I have been that way my whole life way before I ever started having bipolar symptoms. So I am good besides the sluggish feeling. No depression and no hypo.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk
__________________
Crystal  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe become simple.  Bipolar 1 OCD BPD Anxiety with panic disorder Agorophobia viibryd |
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#84
Apr 27, 2014, 02:18 PM
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Well, I have had fewer intraday mood swings. I also have been getting 8 hours a sleep. I really hope the two are related! But there have been episodes of intense anxiety. Maybe exersize is in order?
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Bipolar II and GAD Venlafaxine, Lamotragine, Buspirone, Risperidone |
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#85
Apr 27, 2014, 02:27 PM
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Quote:
Or listening to music on an mp3 player while you exercise can help too. Sent from my Samsung Note II using Tapatalk
__________________
Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin  |
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#86
Apr 27, 2014, 02:31 PM
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Waiting for my husband to get up from his nap so we can go get ice cream!
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| Phoenix_1, swheaton
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#87
Apr 27, 2014, 03:09 PM
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I want a donut!
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| swheaton
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#88
Apr 27, 2014, 03:42 PM
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Deciding what to do is sometimes a difficult situation, but sometimes you know exactly what you want to do and how you're gonna do it... You just can't. How I would love to end all of this right now, but I guess there's more than one way. But there's only one way that has no aftermath for you. Then you leave everyone you know with all that aftermath you got to skip cause you found a way out. And everyone is pissed at you now and calling you selfish, but you know the truth. They're just jealous that you will never have to feel terrible inside ever again.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
"I would say any behavior that is not the status quo is interpreted as insanity, when, in fact, it might actually be enlightenment. Insanity is sorta in the eye of the beholder." - Chuck Palahniuk |
| Anonymous45023, PoorPrincess
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| PoorPrincess
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#89
Apr 27, 2014, 04:13 PM
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I'm okay today. The funeral is Tuesday, but as much as I want to go, I won't. I do not do them well. I process differently.
__________________
Perception isn't everything 
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| Anonymous100104, Anonymous200280, Anonymous45023, Curiosity77
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#90
Apr 27, 2014, 04:43 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar II and GAD Venlafaxine, Lamotragine, Buspirone, Risperidone |
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#91
Apr 27, 2014, 05:20 PM
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Right now I am listening to some relaxing jazz music from my iPad while surfing this website and watching TV at the same time.
Life is sweet right now! 
__________________
Bipolar II and GAD Venlafaxine, Lamotragine, Buspirone, Risperidone |
| Phoenix_1, swheaton
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#92
Apr 27, 2014, 06:03 PM
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Slept 14 hours. Woke up a half hour before work and went to work. Worked for 5 hours. Back in bed again...
Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk |
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#93
Apr 28, 2014, 01:53 AM
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Still up. Just took my meds not five seconds ago, so I'm sure I'll soon be drugged up for the next 12 hours. I have a love/hate relationship with Seroquel. It truly clears up my cognition in many important ways but it's so damn sedating.
__________________
We will never give up hope
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#94
Apr 28, 2014, 10:54 AM
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I woke up feeling good with only 6 hours of sleep. My anxiousness came back and I am a bit agitated. Now I am trying to divert my attention to music. I have waves of temporary lack of energy happening to me. But my medication seems to be working.
__________________
Bipolar II and GAD Venlafaxine, Lamotragine, Buspirone, Risperidone |
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#95
Apr 28, 2014, 11:19 AM
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The only thing good about today is my pdoc has me starting on a new antidepressant for my nearly 9-month long depressive episode: fetizma. I hope to God this will help me, even a little. This will be the 4th antidepressant I've tried in the 9-month period. Can you say "treatment resistant?" I really hope I don't become the poster child for that. . . Don't know how much longer I can do this.
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#96
Apr 28, 2014, 11:24 AM
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I woke up for my doctor's appointment today and I felt a little on edge. Right now I'm feeling a bit sleepy but hopefully I'll wake up once I've gone out to eat with my family. If I still feel sleepy as I get home, I plan on taking a little nap and relaxing.
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#97
Apr 28, 2014, 12:05 PM
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I yelled at my dad yesterday for some f-ed up stuff he's done that's really affected me in my life. He told me I needed to grow up and take responsibility for my own actions and feelings. The physical and emotional abuse I suffered from him as a child and teen are just a small fraction of the things that have happened to me by family members who say they love me, then hurt me. He told me yesterday that he didn't even believe i have a mental illness and that it's all bs. Today he texted me and apologized to me for the first time ever and asked that we have a real conversation about me and what's going on with me. I wasn't expecting this and I had just resigned myself to hating him... But now that he wants to know about everything I don't know if I want to be vulnerable and tell him and then have him still tell me I'm lying and making excuses for my behavior. I don't blame my mental illness for my shortcomings. I feel my shortcomings so deeply that they are a part of my core as a person not because of my mental illness. I don't know what I'm going to say to him. I think I'm gonna try to write it all down.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
"I would say any behavior that is not the status quo is interpreted as insanity, when, in fact, it might actually be enlightenment. Insanity is sorta in the eye of the beholder." - Chuck Palahniuk |
| karaoke_queen4
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#98
Apr 28, 2014, 12:14 PM
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Quote:
Tig
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
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#99
Apr 28, 2014, 06:28 PM
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My hands, when they shake, tell me I am agitated. When I think about it, I see this chasm of pending doom. But this feeling is relatively mild. My music is helping me here. I am trying to help myself think positive thoughts.
Other than that, I am doing OK. At this point in time, nothing should be able to hurt me. Intellectually I know this to be true.
__________________
Bipolar II and GAD Venlafaxine, Lamotragine, Buspirone, Risperidone |
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#100
Apr 28, 2014, 06:33 PM
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I say rather than open up to him tell him that he knows what you said and it's time for HIM to start talking! Admitting it first to you and not brushing it off ... Try telling him you'll talk when he can come to terms with the fact that he's abusive and admit it without making excuses to you. I wouldn't open up at all ... He will just use it to hurt you more. My $0.02 Sent from the dark side of the moon |
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