[Sad&Bipolar]

If it is a first date, you don't have to say anything. If the date goes well and you see each other again, get the feel of your date's thoughts about various subjects. You may be able to touch on the topic of mental health without saying anything outright about your dx. If it looks like a relationship is forming, then get some advice from a therapist on how to approach the subject. If the date does not go well, you just part, and there is no need to talk about your mental health status.

[Curiosity77]

Originally Posted by bmoe73

Curiosity77. I struggle with informing someone im going out with that im bp and bdp. I feel they wont give me a chance. Is it unethical to not say anything?

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I've discussed this with my therapist, and decided it is ok not to say anything, because it's none of their business in the beginning. I just don't know when the appropriate time to say something is, or how to explain it. I don't drink because of my mental illness, so dates tend to notice and ask me about it. It's awkward, i say it's for my health. I don't know what they think of that.

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[bmoe73]

Ah...I see. I had a friend not tell her boyfriend until they got married...lol. Its odd for me. It seems I always run into somebody who has bp. So a lot of times u dont have to hide it. I can usually tell after awhile bc their symptoms usually shows up or they inadvertently tell me some symptoms and I figure it out bc they are using the jargon.

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[sui generis]

I feel really horrible. Just a really depressed, uneasy feeling. I don't have the motivation to do anything but I feel so on edge and in need to do something. I feel bad about myself today more than usual. I'm scared I won't get better or I won't get stable enough to make something of myself.

Crying.

[Hbomb0903]

Originally Posted by sui generis

I feel really horrible. Just a really depressed, uneasy feeling. I don't have the motivation to do anything but I feel so on edge and in need to do something. I feel bad about myself today more than usual. I'm scared I won't get better or I won't get stable enough to make something of myself.

Crying.

Hugs. I'm right there.

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Feel disgusting because i need a shower. And nervous about the dentist appt I have at noon. I'll be showering soon and forcing myself to the dentist. Hope it isn't too painful (dentist) as I have gum recission (sp?). Expensive, too. Medicare doesn't cover it. Oh well. Also feel fat but that is my ED talking. ugh.

[Angry1541]

I knew something was different this morning -- I was very irritable...was yelling at one of our dogs to lay down because she was pacing while I ate breakfast and had my coffee.

I think my wife noticed because she just kinda gave me some room this morning. Some days I get like this....and kinda follows the whole day through...just irritable for not apparent reason, just woke up that way...and today is one of those days....BAH!

[Standup2me]

When I woke up the sun was shining, and the birds were chirping

What a beautiful world we live in

[Hbomb0903]

I feel utterly paralyzed. I have things to do but can't seem to do many of them. I just don't care, but I care too much. I want the pain to end, but am too chicken to end it. Too scared of what I will burden the others with. Scared of what is after?

[Blitter2014]

No recalled nightmares last night although insomnia bad. 5 hrs then awake now. Glad to be awake. Scared of upcoming pdoc visit ad he bossy when comes to meds and I only on half of what he wants me to take.

Get to photograph sunrise again this morning...in about 2 hrs. ..

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[Travelinglady]

I have been stable now for a good while and did better this week with getting showered and dressed, instead of just staying in night clothes all day.

[Blitter2014]

Sunrise over stawell

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[Angry1541]

Originally Posted by Blitter2014

Sunrise over stawell

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Absolutely beautiful....

[Skitz13]

It's been a long day. Two appts today. One with my nurse practitioner and then my therapist Went ok I guess we are meeting with my pdoc tomorrow to go over my "treatment plan."

Today's not a good day so I really don't care about a treatment plan. No feelings today, just numb, don't care, can't be bothered.

I'm very fortunate to have a "team" working with me. Pdoc, therapist, nurse practitioner, spiritual healer and a naturopath. But if it ain't workin, it's just a waste of time.

Funny thing is, the way it works for me, tomorrow will be another day with another mood.

Don't get me wrong I am grateful but it just seems like nothing works and you can see how I've tried to incorporate anybody and everybody. Don't know what else I can do

[Curiosity77]

Dating saga continues.

2 second dates with 2 separate guys, tomorrow and Sunday. I like one of them more than the other, but it's too soon to say. Neither of them know anything about my bipolar. They have both asked why i don't drink, so i just said it's for my health and didn't explain further. I don't know how to explain that the reason is i have to give random urines for work as a consequence of involuntary hospitalization, so i can't drink now, but i can in one year. There's really no way of explaining that without sounding really bad. It would be easier if i could just say i was an alcoholic, because the actual story is way crazier and more stigmatizing than that.

I hope things work out with one of them.

Plus i'm juggling 2 other guys that are just for fun, and won't be a relationship, so i could ditch them at any time.

I'm having trouble making any decisions, and it's all getting very complicated.

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[usehername]

I feel disgusting because I'm badly in need of some self-care (like a shower). I learned that triazolam isn't the best sleep med for me, but it would serve me well as an anti-manic because it slows me down for the whole next day after taking it at night. If it weren't for the total loss of memory & concentration, I'd probably take it every day - yes I know it's addictive, I do fine with benzos (been on alprazolam a year with no issues).
I have a paper to write but can't. I'm not taking it tonight, because I'm hoping the dulled down version of mania that my med cocktail allows to break through will help me write my stupid paper. The good news is I'm in a good mood.
I hope everyone is having a great day.

I got up and just hung out around the house all day. This evening I did take a shower, have a friend over, and cooked dinner! SI has been very bad today, it is not something I am actively seeking it just keeps sneaking in on me. I think I am doing good though painting a on a face that doesn't show the wrecked inners of me. However I keep going down hill, I had to call into work Sunday because I could barely function with all the stress going on at work, home, and this depression. I have to start back to class tomorrow, but at least it is just an afternoon class. I am scared to tell anyone what is going on right now, I am not sure why.

[bmoe73]

Originally Posted by Hbomb0903

I feel utterly paralyzed. I have things to do but can't seem to do many of them. I just don't care, but I care too much. I want the pain to end, but am too chicken to end it. Too scared of what I will burden the others with. Scared of what is after?

Hey...I totally understand where you're coming from. If you want to talk, you can just reply back. But yea...dont end it. Hit me back...I would love to talk with you and be supportive

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[TippPatt]

Originally Posted by newgal2

I hate the loneliness so much. Why can't I be alone without being so lonely??? I'm not normally like this when I'm not depressed. When will this episode ever end? I think I'm setting a world record for lonest depressive phase - - it's been almost 10 months now (it will be on 6/4)! Something has got to give. This is getting absolutely ridiculous . . .

I too have an 'alone = unwanted' problem. To solve it, I got a dog. He serves two purposes: when I call, he comes which is something that never happens with other people; and, he listens without feeling the need to comment no matter my affect at the moment.

A keeper of secrets is a pretty good idea when one is suffering from a chemical imbalance that was not of their choosing.

You might want to consider that.

[TippPatt]

Originally Posted by usehername

I feel disgusting because I'm badly in need of some self-care (like a shower).

The good news is I'm in a good mood.
I hope everyone is having a great day.

Showers aren't all they are cracked up to be. Due to my particular brand of 'don't wanna' I decided to add a shower chair to my shower so that I could sit while showering. After all, just stepping in the ruddy thing sounds like so much work, why in heavens name would I want to use the energy I don't have to stand there and endure it?

It was a solution - albeit a really odd one. But lacking a shower is a pretty normal sign of being bi-polar. We are far too busy worrying about everything under the sun to take care of ourselves in many ways, hygiene included.

Don't worry, you're normal.

[Skitz13]

Originally Posted by Curiosity77

Dating saga continues.

2 second dates with 2 separate guys, tomorrow and Sunday. I like one of them more than the other, but it's too soon to say. Neither of them know anything about my bipolar. They have both asked why i don't drink, so i just said it's for my health and didn't explain further. I don't know how to explain that the reason is i have to give random urines for work as a consequence of involuntary hospitalization, so i can't drink now, but i can in one year. There's really no way of explaining that without sounding really bad. It would be easier if i could just say i was an alcoholic, because the actual story is way crazier and more stigmatizing than that.

I hope things work out with one of them.

Plus i'm juggling 2 other guys that are just for fun, and won't be a relationship, so i could ditch them at any time.

I'm having trouble making any decisions, and it's all getting very complicated.

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Lol well sounds like you're having fun anyway. Good for you, getting out there and living your life the way you want to. I personally am at the "my life is over" stage. No dating for me although I've had many offers but I'm just not feeling it. I'm so afraid that an episode will scare them away, so I just feel it's best that I be alone.

Have fun!!!

[Notnrml85]

Being desperately in love with someone for years and years in a ten-year marriage and being suicidal in combination is the hardest things I've ever done.

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[Standup2me]

I feel good today, cheerful
It feels good

[Angry1541]

Didn't sleep well last night...I seem to sleep on my stomach when I am not sleeping well (oddly enough) and I kept waking up....and today I am bummed, tired, and forgot to take my meds before I went into work....good thing I plan to run home at lunch....
DAMNIT!!!

[r010159]

Attachment 4285

^^^Notice anything interesting?! Not bad at all. I hope these good days will continue and that light at the end of the tunnel is not a freight train coming at me.