Maybe a little hypo

I'm sorry lilypup. I'm not in trouble just so everywhere and wanting to do everything and my wife is making me copy recipes 😴. So boring. I'm sure if I wasn't as strict on my outward appearance to others I'd probably be in major trouble.

So thus is getting to be a problem. I can't sit. I can't complete a task. I can't focus on one thing. Wife wants me to double dose on melatonin or take a tylenol pm. I don't want to. I don't want to over do it on sleep aids and sleep through work tomorrow because I'm sure my body is exhausted but I'm so not it's like my body is separate from me. I don't even know if what I'm saying right now makes sense. I feel like everything is going so slow from my wife's talking and moving to my talking and the fan blowing in the window. Maybe I should try to read and mellow a bit or yoga or meditate.

Yep trying to relax for bed. But brains all a flutter. Thinking bout this mysterious red spot on the inside bend of my elbow. It reminds me of an iv poke. I haven't had an iv since last year. Which is causing all sorts of thoughts to charge full force through my head about how it got there. Sleep tig... close your eyes and relax....

Can't stop talking. I'm even talking to myself when there's no one to talk to. I'm annoying people being this way some have told me so. I'm starting to get a little paranoid about this now. I like being up, but when it interferes with daily life is a problem right? I feel abnormal with this entire thing... I'm constantly forcing myself to remain in control, but this is starting to get outside of my grasp. I have no Pdoc to talk to that I'm comfortable with. I just want to be up without the lost control. I want people talk to but everyone is busy as I should be, but I don't want to do what I have to.

I continue write. I'm not wanting to sleep. I'm making myself lay down though. I'm ready for something anything too happen. I'm having irrational thoughts. Trying to shut off...

You're doing the right thing by lying down. Give your body some rest even if you can't get your mind to rest. Do you have any support in place? Family, pdoc?

Yeah, for me the key is to sleep. As long as I get at least some decent sleep, I can be as MANIC as Jimi Hendrix on acid, lighting his guitar on fire! and yet, still function normal.

I've got my wife, but she doesn't understand a lot. I'm in limbo between Pdocs. They were supposed to have a replacement for me the 1st of June. It's now the middle/end of July and still no replacement. I've called a few times and am on cancellation list, but if I call again I don't want to get the same on call I got last time. She was less than helpful and didn't even listen to what was going on. I don't want to sleep,but I don't want another migraine.

It's been a hard week. I don't like getting migraines and that is what my lack of sleep caused. I'm wide awake after 6-7 hours of "sleep" last night. Thoughts are permeating my mind even as I sleep. Ideas of sayings to paint. Crafts to do ways to reorganize the bedroom. Books to read exercises to try and walks to take. How much I don't want to be laying down because there is so much to do. New tattoo ideas. And more irrational thoughts like I'm too hyper or whatever the proper term is because I'm posting a lot talking a lot and doing so many things a lot. I've been thinking about what if that red spot on my arm was an iv mark and someone drugged me and the reason I'm acting the way I am is because the drugs they put in me. What if I am Lucy there's a movie coming out named Lucy. What if that's what's happening? Then there's the thoughts about what trees say to each other... I feel like I can here them talking and when I'm around several trees I feel like I'm part of a very special conversation. Then there's the sexual thoughts, but mother nature is having fun prolonging my femaleness. I'm thinking about things that are so opposite of me as my wife pointed out. I have a deep desire to go spend thousands of dollars on corsets and shoes and new clothes that show off my body. And to move to a city leave this small Podunk town I live in and move cross country to someplace like Denver or Seattle or San Francisco. I want to leave my job and just up and go right now. I feel a need to do these things. I'm having to stay quiet as my wife is still asleep which is limiting limiting what I can do. I'm just rambling. I know I'm going to do something great and expect everyone else to recognize it too. I could learn to teach people how to communicate with trees and other plants or have an ingenious idea to help save our planet that will be so easy and cheap everyone will do it. I'm trying to grab all my thoughts and put them down on paper, but I can't there are some speeding by before I can catch them. I feel amazing and alive and in touch with everything. Things are more vivid in color and sound and I'm taking pleasure in the subtle shades and variations of colors of some artwork in the house and sky. I feel like I have to move and can't sit still or focus too long on one thing so as I gaze I'm quickly noticing these things. It's like my brain instantly catches the subtleties that everyone normally misses.

It's a little bit uncanny how everything you say/feel is exactly the way I am when up.

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk

tigersayyy i am soo happy for you and the way you feel so good right now, i'll pray it lasts for you, just enjoy the moments and remember this day if you have a bad day.

Now here's the real question...Does the tune from the song Rio by Duran Duran sound exactly how you feel? Like everything is fast and you want to dance? If yes, then high five, because that's me all the way! (sometimes...haha!)

It's funny that you get tattoo ideas also because I had like 4 last night. That also tends to only happen to me when I'm up.

I've got a combo of Madagascar's (kids movie) "I like to move it move it" and circus songs going right now.

Wow, and I thought I was manic! tigersassy, I think you are going over the edge of 'safe' mania. And that is something coming from me, as I am pretty much in some sort of hypomania pretty much all the time! Luckily I am rarely manic, but when I am, it gets 'unsafe' and I make ridiculous decisions. You need to get some help, ASAP! Are you on any mood stabilizer? You need to be imo.

I'm on generic lamictal 100mg once a day. But I think the viibryd up to 40mg is what is causing this. But I don't have a Pdoc that it's listening to me and my meds right now cause it's the On calls that are getting my old Pdocs clients right now.

I'm in control. I'm in control. I'm in control too a certain point. I was around a bunch of people today most of which I'm not very comfortable around. So I had to maintain a lot of control over my urges and actions. I doubt I sleep much. I feel like I'm going to burst. For the last 4hours or so I've been bouncing my leg constantly or talking constantly. I don't want this feeling to go away. I like feeling happy and joyful and creative. Such is life though I guess. Try to sleep now. No plans for tomorrow so can sleep in if I want.

I haven't been happy or creative these last 5 days. I've been getting in yelling matches with everybody, I've been anxious as heck, and everything around me is too too too sssllllloooooowwwwwww...hopefully I won't get fired when my boss returns from vacation.

I've transitioned to having minor suicidal thoughts today and I don't really know why.

I'm not sleeping much either tiger, only 2 hours last night and I don't predict many more tonight.

We're I'm control tigersassy, we're in control.

High five for good luck!

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk

Hugs lobster. I hope you can get some sleep. I'm going to stare at the wall till I pass out.

Thanks, I'll try to be as motivated to stare at my ceiling as you are at your wall.

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using Tapatalk

Slept from midnight to about 3am then starred at the wall off and on until 9 or so. Did some artwork. Tried to be close to my wife, but brain made a big issue out of that now got to get relaxed because dinner bath and bed over the next few hours. Work early in the morning. I'm in control of myself or I tell my wife what's going on and she helps keep me in check.