[TheatreKid]

So friends are starting to ask if everything is all right, and I'm sleeping 3 hours a night max and feel like I'm about to have a heart attack all the time so I really need to nip this manic episode in the bud. I'm going to talk to a couple of people about this just briefly tomorrow so they know where I'm at and so someone will be there if I crash. And on Monday I'm calling my pdoc to get emergency sleep meds and to set up a phone check in. I'm absolutely convinced I can come down from this no problem, no crash though. If Denzel Washington can land a plane upside down I can do this.

[Skitz13]

Wow you really are taking charge of this. Good for you. When I was manic a couple of weeks ago, I wish I would have had enough sense to do what you're doing. of course I had never had a full blown manic episode before so by the time I realized what was going on, damage had already been done.

I'm hoping I've learned from it and am inspired by your quick action and will try and do the same when it strikes again.

[avlady]

Congradulations for you!!!

[TheatreKid]

Thanks. The temptation with a manic episode is to just go with it, but I really don't want to crash. It sucks. I really believe the Abilify is working against the depression so maybe this time there will be no crash. My pdoc will probably prescribe a benzo for a week or something and if I start sleeping again I'll be fine.

good for you for taking the reigns!
awesome when episodes are well managed. i would very much like to be able to do that.
i have a signal plan that reminds to to add activities like yoga and meditation when i feel like im going off track. or remind to to take a shower and leave the house once in awhile. it tells me to take my PRNs etc.
i dont usually DO that but its in the plan, and hubby has a copy so when im not taking care of myself he can give me a gentle nudge and reminder. which is ok because its in the plan.. that i made. its not like its coming from him because then i would get all bent out of shape. haha.

[~Christina]

When you see your Pdoc come up with a plan that if you find yourself on a weekend and your Manic that you have a PRN AP or benzio(not really useful when your in full on mania ) So you can start treatment before you have to wait days.

Its always good to have a back up plan.

[TheatreKid]

I'll talk to my pdoc about it. I'm already on 3 APs and she doesn't want me on that many so I don't think she'd prescribe another one. I might ask to have a few emergency benzos to keep around PRN for mania. I don't want very many though, because I've abused them in the past.

[~Christina]

Wow 3 AP's ! Yep maybe the benzios will help you

[TheatreKid]

I've been on 400 mg of Seroquel forever. I used to be on lithium but my kidneys quit filtering it out. When the lithium pooped my kidneys out and I kept getting toxic she switched the lithium for Abilify. The Seroquel is supposed to stabilize my mood and work against mania, and 6 mg of Abilify is working well on the depression. I was having a lot of anxiety so she added 1 mg of Risperidone, and it was like magic - I was doing so well, but she wanted to wait 6 months before removing the risperidone again.

[TheatreKid]

I'm hitting that point where the mania borders on uncomfortable. It escalates at night and I feel cooped up in here. Definitely letting my director and stage manager know tomorrow. Just because it's good business - sometimes I worry that being open about bipolar will result in fewer roles, but I'd rather let them know just in case I need support, because they're also friends. It also works against the fear that they will decide I'm undependable, because they know I'll be open and not surprise them with anything.

And then on Monday morning I'll call pdoc. Will probably talk to my psych nurse and ask her to ask pdoc for a benzo.

[Tucson]

WOW You are definitely together with this manic episode!

[TheatreKid]

heh, if I'd been really together, I would have called her on Thursday. But oh well. I mostly keep my insight for the first week or so of mania, until it gets so out of control that I lose it. I know that line is approaching so I've really got to nip it in the bud. I just hope my pdoc listens to me... in the past, I've avoided calling her because I'm afraid she'll take me "togetherness" for a false alarm. I'm pretty persuasive right now though.

Mania is fun but I remember the wreckage of the past few years and am eager to move beyond that.

[Cocosurviving]

Ur taking the right steps!

Sent from iPhone using Tapatalk

[pawn78]

Bipolar people can be incredibly talented actors, many famous actors ARE bipolar, so I don't think that will be a strike against you if you disclose.

I have some people who I am accountable too also, but mostly I just ride the mania until it gets uncomfortable.. Then I call in the heavy guns... My Pdoc/therapist. He's the last resort, and he will knock me the **** out if that's what I need!

[TheatreKid]

Even famous people don't disclose due to stigma though. My experience has been generally good with disclosing. I haven't been cast in much lately but I'm hoping it's just a dry patch and not some reputation catching up to me. The last few directors and stage managers I've worked with have appreciated my candor and have said I AM reliable, especially since I tell them what's up, but you never know when the tide will turn in showbiz. And most of us are university students - I don't know if their worldview would be very different from professionals.

I just let one of my castmates know. I hope it's ok, we're going to talk about it tomorrow. I always feel bad telling people because I had a teacher once who said "do you ever think about how you're making your friends feel?"

But I'm doing a good thing. I need support to get through this.

Tonight is excruciating. I can't sit for a long period of time, I have no concentration, I feel like my body is just going to fly into a million pieces. I WANT to sleep tonight but I doubt I will.

[medicalfox]

Your pdoc might not prescribe you sleeping meds. My psychiatrist says that sleeping meds and psychostimulants like adderall are a big no for schizophrenics because it increases hallucinations. Since you're in a manic episode it could be very bad for you. Take melatonin instead (mine said about 3mg is good, but ask your pdoc) and I've had pretty good luck with zzquil so you could try that.

[TheatreKid]

technically my diagnosis is bipolar with psychotic features, not schizophrenia... are sleeping meds bad for bipolar mania?

There's something about melatonin that my pdoc doesn't want me to take it for some reason. I have some though, I might try it tonight.

[medicalfox]

Originally Posted by TheatreKid

technically my diagnosis is bipolar with psychotic features, not schizophrenia... are sleeping meds bad for bipolar mania?

There's something about melatonin that my pdoc doesn't want me to take it for some reason. I have some though, I might try it tonight.

"a family history of even the subtler forms of bipolar disorder or psychosis are more vulnerable than others to the mania- or psychosis-inducing potential of antidepressants, stimulants and sleeping medications. While I'm not making a blanket statement against these medications, I am urging caution in their use. I believe [clinicians] should ask patients and their families whether there is a family history of bipolar disorder or psychosis before prescribing these medications. Most patients and their families don't know the answer when they are first asked, so time should be allowed for the patient to ask family or relatives, between the session when asked by [the clinician] and a follow-up session. This may increase the wait for a medication slightly, but because some patients are vulnerable, this is a necessary step for [the clinician] to take. I believe that psychiatry as a field has not emphasized this point sufficiently. As a result, some patients have been harmed by the very treatments that were supposed to help them; or to the disgrace of psychiatry, harmed and then misdiagnosed"

I believe anyone suffering from a psychotic disorder should use caution with sleeping meds.

[medicalfox]

I'm not sure what's in sleeping meds that makes them induce worse symptoms for those with psychotic disorders, but I can ask my psychiatrist tomorrow and let you know.

[TheatreKid]

Interesting. I'd appreciate it if you asked. Thanks.

[TheatreKid]

Left a message for my psych nurse this morning, she called me back just before 9, which was nice of her. I asked her if she could talk to the pdoc and ask for something to help me sleep, but she said I had to come in. So she's seeing me at 4.

I really think it's calming down. Having a 4.5 hour theatre rehearsal really helped.

[TheatreKid]

Pdoc added 2 mg of Ativan at night but I can't start it until tomorrow because my pharmacy is closed. Hopefully I will land softly and keep going.

[medicalfox]

I was pretty sleep deprived when I saw my psychiatrist so idr everything he said, but he said I couldn't have ativan or any of those sleeping meds due to risk of a psychotic break. He said I should take melatonin or a benzo instead, but benzos for bed time make you stay in the 4th stage of your sleep cycle and don't allow restful sleep so sometimes you wake up really tired and not well rested. He wasn't sure about zzzquil, but told me to urge caution on anything used for sleep. I hope this helps and if you get psychosis after starting your ativan you know why. My old psych gave me ritalin without telling me it would increase my hallucinations ten fold so that was a nightmare so I'm big on researching stuff before being prescribed things because I had doctors prescribe stuff that was suppose to help, but made me manic/suicidal.

[TheatreKid]

Ativan IS a benzo though.

My pdoc specializes in psychosis, so I trust her. Not to say you or your pdoc is wrong, it's just that benzos have been useful to me in the past. I forgot to ask why she was against melatonin. I'll ask next time.

[TheatreKid]

I'm REALLY REALLY having trouble making myself take the benzo. I couldn't start it last night, my pharmacy was closed, so my pdoc said to start it tonight. Last night was horrible, I had racing thoughts so bad I thought I was insane, and they didn't even make sense, they were like fragments. So I don't want another night like that, I know I need to sleep.

But I just feel so good and don't want it to end.