stopping saphris now

I've posted lots about my problems with Saphris, so I've decided I am stopping it. My pdoc doesn't support this, but she doesn't understand me all that well, and she does not understand my motivation for taking this risk. I'm going to Burning Man next week, and I want to be clear from it by the time I get there. The half life is 24 hours, which means it will take about 5 days to get out of my system. I was on 10 mg, so I dropped it down to 5 mg for the past 4 days, and now I've stopped it as of tonight. I have melatonin to help with the insomnia, and I'm not sure what else to expect for withdrawal. I know that this is a risky thing to do, but I have decided it's worth the risk. This is an antipsychotic, but I am taking it as a mood stabilizer and not for psychosis, so I'm not at risk of becoming psychotic now. I think my biggest risk is depression, but I don't feel at all depressed right now so I think I will be fine. I want to fully experience Burning Man without being emotionally blunted. I'm going to bring some with me in case I need it. I think the next week might be a little bit difficult for me. Wish me luck...

Is this a new med? saphris ?

Can you ask for something else to take if it all goes poorly? Like something that works really quickly to bring things under control? Eg zyprexa wafers or something. They bring you down fast and is a good emergency med

Just stay safe

Not to be blunt, but this sounds to me like a whole lot of rationalization for what you know is a bad idea.

You said it yourself: you're taking Saphris as a mood stabilizer. Well, what happens when you take the mood stabilizer away? You're apt to become destabilized, that's what. You're a NP, you know this even better than I do. I understand about wanting to fully experience Burning Man, but if you decompensate, how are you going to enjoy it?

I think what you want is what most of us want---to be a little bit hypomanic in order to enhance the experience. But as you know, it doesn't always stop there.

Believe me, I know how frustrating it can be to feel flattened emotionally. FWIW, I'm having that issue myself---I feel an almost desperate desire for hypomania, just so I can have that boundless energy and optimism for a little while. I want it so bad I can practically taste it! But there's a reason why I'm on two APs.....it usually doesn't stop there, but turns on me and becomes full-blown mania.

I know you have BP 2 and don't have full manic episodes, but I think you've said you've had psychotic episodes before. What if that happens during your trip?

I'm aware you don't like Saphris and have wanted to go off of it for some time. But the stress of an event---even one that's enjoyable---is a bad time to make major adjustments in your medication regimen. Please reconsider.

Thank you for replies. I know you could be right BPnurse, but I'll never know if I really need the med unless I come off it and see. I went on it 2 years ago, and I needed it then mostly because I was depressed. The last time I had a significant hypomanic episode was over 3 years ago, and my pattern is they happen in times of stress or when I came off birth control pills. The only times I've had psychosis was when I was using LSD or MDMA. So as long as I stay away from those drugs I will not become psychotic. I feel like being on such a heavy drug regime is over kill at this point. I have two bipolar friends, both nurses, and both with very similar symptoms to me. One of them has the same pdoc as me, and she is on a ton of meds, and the other sees a different pdoc and she is just on lamotrigine. I have been working in mental health 10 years, with some pretty severely ill patients, and I am on more meds than the majority of those patients. I think my pdoc is more into polypharmacy than most other pdocs.

I'm under no stress right now, and I'll have 2 weeks off starting next weekend. I was depressed this winter, but it wasn't severe, and my mood is good right now and has been all summer. So if there's a time to try it, it's now. I'm a little bit scared, but mostly excited about possibly getting off this med. Burning Man is a stress, but it's a positive stress, and that's never caused a problem for me. I'm bringing saphris with me, so if I start to get sick I can restart it. I'm also going with a friend who is a bipolar psych RN, and she knows what I'm doing and can keep an eye on me.

So I don't really know why I posted here, because I already decided what I'm going to do and I am aware of the risks. Maybe it isn't fair to the group to post something like this and then ignore the feedback. I'm not sure of my motivation in posting. I guess I just trust you guys, and it helps me to share my experiences, even when I do risky things. I wouldn't recommend anyone do what I am doing, but it is what it is. I'm hoping for an intense experience at Burning Man, so I'm adjusting my brain chemistry to facilitate that.

Sorry if this offends anyone.

No offense taken. I come to accept that BPs do crazy things, including going off their meds without a doctors supervision. That is the nature of the disease.

By the way, aren't you in a probationary period that requires you to be med compliant? Maybe you are not this person. But if you are, you are placing at risk your nursing license. But then I have come to expect this type of risk taking from myself and others here.

I really hope this works out for you!

No offense meant, and none taken. I just wish you wouldn't "prescribe" for yourself. If I were your patient, would you advise me to go off Zyprexa because I want to intensify my experience at a religious retreat? Somehow, I doubt it.

I admit it: I want to help save you from yourself, not just because I like you and feel a kinship with you, but because I want you to make it through your monitoring program successfully, and you are taking a big risk by not sticking to your med regimen. I also understand the compulsion to mess with meds and indeed am experiencing something similar myself; I love Zyprexa because it works to keep me level, but I also want to come off of it so I can feel the exuberance that I miss so much. Does that make sense?

I know you're going to do what you want. Just be aware that you're risking decompensation and that episodes are a b**** to catch once they get away from you. You say you'll restart the Saphris if you get sick; what if you become hypomanic and lose your insight as many of us do?

Just a few thoughts.....at any rate, I wish you the best of luck.

Yeah, i'm being noncompliant with my monitoring, which adds an extra layer of risk. Taking my chances.

The withdrawal kind of sucks though. I didn't fall asleep til 5 am because i finally broke down and took 25 mg of seroquel. I tried to go running this afternoon, but started feeling nauseas so had to walk back. I don't know what other symptoms will happen or how long it will last. If it gets worse i'll start taking it again. But i'm going to stick with it for now. My mood is still normal, and i have my other meds still.

Obviously it is risky, and most of us are not going to say, "yeah, good idea, go ahead."

But I will say that I respect your decision. You have thought about it for long weeks and weeks, so it is not impulsive behavior. It is well thought out and planned.

To compare to myself...I planned for long weeks and weeks to have a casual sex affair, and I finally did. I didn't regret it at all and had fun. When I posted about it here, of course most people were like, "oh, you are hypomanic, be careful, you are making crazy decisions!"

I was just like, "nah, it was great fun!" It WAS NOT impulsive, like just suddenly sleeping with someone out of nowhere. Just like your going off saphris was not impulsive, but well-planned. So maybe your decision is a bit risky, as was mine, but in the end it is your life and you decision. Good luck babe!

We are here for you !

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Feel like I'm a buzzing a little. I'm a few days off Saphris now, and still can't sleep. It's been the weekend so it hasn't mattered, but now it's midnight and I work in the morning, and there is no way I can sleep. I had a really energetic day too, ran 9 km, and some other physical activity, ahem So I should be tired, but I'm not. Maybe I'm getting a little hypomanic or maybe it's just withdrawal insomnia and feeling good. Whatever it is I like it, but I hope things stay in check because I really don't want to loose control and I don't want to go back on the Saphris. Maybe I should lower my wellbutrin dose now that I don't have an antipsychotic on board, but I don't know how much I should change around my meds on my own, but I can't discuss any of this with my pdoc. I thought I was more at risk of slipping into a depression, but I guess not. I'm not sure how to know if I should put the brakes on this. I'm not ready at this point though.

I stopped Saphris after a week. My shrink considered raising the dose to overcome my side effects. Is that nuts or what?

I think you made the right decision. You are in ultimate control of your own body.

I hope you were able to get some sleep and that things go well for you while stopping the Saphris. I ditched that drug after one dose. I can't remember much about my reaction (except that I felt terrified) but my husband said it was like I was on a bad acid trip..

I was awake til 5 and up at 7:30, but i don't feel particularly tired. Hopefully it's a chill day at work because i must be off my game with days of little sleep. But i actually feel ok. I wonder how long this withdrawal insomnia will last

That isn't just withdrawal insomnia, it's incipient mania and you know it.

Now go do what you would advise one of your patients to do in the same circumstances, and please take care of yourself.

Yes, i know that's what is happening, but i'm not ready to stop right now. I feel so good and alive. I'm being irresponsible, but i feel the need to break free of all the controls in my life. So i'm going with the ride for now. I hope i don't ruin my life with this experiment, but right now i feel like a moth drawn into a flame. I think this could be the start of an epic adventure, i hope so anyway. And of course i wouldn't recommend this to a patient, but i feel like this is right for me right now.

I know. I wish I could say I don't get it, but I do. The lure of hypomania is such that I've been contemplating D/C'ing Zyprexa, just to have the experience again. I MISS my hypomania. Trouble with me is, it doesn't usually stop there and then full-blown mania ensues. It's not worth it. So I take my meds, go to bed on time and hope I can learn to love normality.

I have been through a horrible psychosis. I was taking an antipsychotic afterwards. I stopped taking it when I felt I had calmed down and was stabilizing on lamictal and other meds. So I completely understand that if you haven't experienced a full on organic psychosis, (without it being triggered by drugs or an ad.) I could understand wanting to come off of it. AP s are just no fun...

I started back on risperdal again though. The paranoia was just getting too bad. But if I didn't have the paranoia or fear of psychosis, I know I wouldn't want to take a AP.

I would just recommend that u are very careful, and if you need to, go back on the saphris. Hope u have fun at burning man. we all have to take our own risks in life, ya know?