Accepting a new diagnosis

I posted here some weeks back asking for some advice surrounding my initial appointment with a new psychiatrist, and what I should say to her/share with her. I wanted to thank you all for your answers, they were really helpful. On Tuesday, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Since then, I've gone into 'busy' mode to try and take my mind of things, and have managed to avoid thinking about it until today. And it's just hit me. I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about the diagnosis. A huge sense of relief, as it's been something I've struggled with for the last decade, and to finally have some kind of answer/diagnosis for why I am why I am feels really helpful. That said, in the last 24 hours, I've felt really alone and isolated with this new diagnosis, and I'm struggling to come to terms with and accept it. I don't really know where to go from here, and would really value some support

I felt very similar when I was first diagnosed. Try to remember that just because you have a diagnosis now, doesn't change who you are. A label placed on you doesn't define your identity and hopefully now you can work with your pdoc and focus on making yourself happier and healthier.

Just know you're not alone.

I have GAD and I don't really put much thought into "I'm bipolar".

You have it, it's not going anywhere, you can stabilize and live a happy.

It can be a shock when you are first diagnosed. Along with that it can also be a big relief as you now can begin to understand what it is that you are dealing with, make adjustments and live a more stable life. I was hit with shock and relief when I was diagnosed last year. The new treatment has helped immensely as has my increased understanding of my illness and why i have been acting so crazy for twenty years.

I wish you all the best in your journey and hope the new treatment helps.

Give it some time. When I was first diagnosed I read "An unquiet mind." It helped. Welcome to PC.

I was shocked when my psychiatrist diagnosed me with Mixed Bipolar Disorder in January. For the last 20 some years I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. I wanted to hide away from the world since the bipolar diagnosis, but it has turned out good because I am now on the right meds and dosages and I feel much better. To help me feel less alone and isolated I attend a weekly meeting at the Mental Health Association. To meet and share with others going through the same thing is a blessing. I have met some great friends and they have helped me to really accept my new diagnosis over time. I hope you can find local support too. I have also started attending counseling sessions to help me with my ups and downs. Best wishes to you. Hang in there. Things are going to be okay. Give it time.

We sort of remind each other sometimes that just because you've been diagnosed doesn't mean it just started happening. You've been living with it for the past decade.

I can look back to my teen years and I honestly think it started when I was about 14. I've lived my entire life unaware it had a name.

Really, the only thing that has happened is someone put a name on what you've already been dealing with for years. Nothing else changed.

Thank you all so much for your responses. I think it's just trying to process the diagnosis. On one hand, nothing has changed, which is great, because I don't ever want it to be something that defines me. On the other hand, it doesn't feel so great, because nothing has changed. I just want things to feel better than they currently are, and can't seem to find a way around it all. Medication is scaring me somewhat as well. I've been on many anti-psychotics in the past, and they've often helped with the mood swings, but every time I've been on them, I've had a dystonic reaction, where my neck spasms, and I can't fully control the movement of it. This has just happened with quetiapine as well. Every single anti-psychotic I've tried, I have this reaction... the psychiatrists has just given me something to counteract that side effect today (procyclidine), but I'm terrified it won't work, as I'm sure I've been on it in the past and it hasn't worked... I'm a mess when I'm not on medication, but it seems like every medication you can take for bipolar has that side effect, and it's a side effect I just can't manage. Its really bad, and destroys my self confidence - I just don't think I can continue with medication that does that, as it makes me feel just as low as I do in the down periods, but in a different way. I just want to be able to fight all of this, and have tried for years without medication, and I still struggle. Has anyone else had this side effect?

Hi rainbow, Im in my fifties and have only today been diagnosed bipolar I... life has been a very hard and mountainous journey. I am relieved and terrified at the same time. I am very much hoping that this diagnosis on a first visit with any Pdoc will be the start of a stable life for me. I have only ever taken welbutrine (s) and a new one last month that has been so wonderful (possibly too wonderful?) and have only had a good redaction. Tho with my visit today they will be changing them. Im scared, worried, and have no idea what to expect socially, business wise etc. All I know, is it will and must get better. It's a start, a new start. I hope so much good things for you and they find exactly what works without side effects.

I never knew I had bipolar.. never tried to say I had a disorder never really read up on disorders.. always thought I was bigger tougher stronger then some disorder. . I totally dismissed it all.. it wasn't until I couldn't sleep and started going to the dr for shaking and no sleeping that it led to a train wreck of events.. including making my mom bawl.. pushing my marriage to its last threads. And more things. .. Prozac made me flip a lid to even newer heights of horrible... I'm brutal as **** when I want to be (sickly sometimes I smile when I think about it...).... what I guess I'm trying to say is I wasn't out scoping out disorders.... dr sent me to a clinic and I went and talked to the psych and therapist and was diagnosed bp 1. How'd I handle it? Pretty ashamed. The world slowed down some for a while after that... finally spent some time learning about bp. Now I realize I've basically been BP since 17 I just self medicated heavily for about 13 years... it's nothing that just goes away but remember you had this before the diagnosis. Your not bipolar. You have bipolar. And lastly it's a diagnosis. Bipolar for you is not bipolar for me. It's not a one size fits all by any means. The diagnosis is just a way for Dr's to better be able to help you and understand you. Gl and welcome.. it's a nice group of people here but we all have different experiences.. meds and daily life. Your mileage may vary hope I made some sense

Getting the diagnosis explained a lot of the things that had happened in my life, but I didn't accept it at first. I was diagnosed at 29, but refused meds and did not return to the pdoc. Things stabilized in their own, and I thought I was fine, until I went off the rails at 33. That's when I accepted the diagnosis, found a pdoc, and started meds. That was 4 years ago. I accept the diagnosis now and I'm ok with it. I kept it secret for a long time, but more recently in the past few months I've been more open about it. I figure it's nothing to be ashamed of, even though I have felt shame about it, and I want to counter the stigma by showing people that bipolar doesn't look like the stereotype they may have in mind. I think that is part of my acceptance. I've seen several pdocs, and they all agreed on this diagnosis. Interestingly my therapist does not agree with the diagnosis, and he thinks the label I have accepted is harming me. I don't agree with him, but it is interesting to consider his perspective and look at ways that I have functioned and gotten through some crises. But I do think he is wrong, because things have gotten pretty crazy at times.

Wonderfuly said loophole. And it really is better seeing like rainbow, I'm not alone either. Im so glad I found this place.