Husband just doesn't get it and I am in a bad place

I am not in a good place right now and it just keeps spiraling (we all know the feeling). I have even reverted to behaviors from 20 years ago (cutting, purging). My husband just keeps asking me what triggered it and what do I need to do to get out of it- he thinks I can just snap my fingers and it will go away. It annoys me so much that he thinks a specific event or trigger is causing this. He is a very logical person and mental illness defies logic. I feel even more alone talking to him. I really don't know what to do to help myself right now.

I hope for the best for you and if you need someone to talk to im here.

[I'm sorry you're having this experience, ozzy. Guys want to fix things-- it's hardwired-- and maybe if you remind your husband of this and ask him to not do it in this case it will help him to see that being Mr. Fixit is exactly the wrong approach.

Idk where you are w/treatment, but if you are spiraling as you say and you're not getting treatment, face it: you're going to have to. And if you are I'd contact your peeps soon.

Good luck with this ozzy. For what it's worth everyone here knows you can't just snap your fingers and make it go away. Don't we wish!

all the best,
Randy

I see a pdoc and I started seeing a therapist about 6 weeks or so ago. I don't see her for another 1.5 weeks. I could call pdoc, but I don't know what good that would do. I know in time I will snap out of this, I just don't know when, or how much damage I will do before this cycle is over.

I was feeling pretty awful yesterday and got on one of the psych central emotional support chat rooms. I found it to be really helpful and I got a lot of support. It doesn't take the place of a psychologist visit, or a tdoc visit, but it does tide one over. Just a thought. I hope you feel better soon.

It sounds like your husband isn't very informed about BPD. I started taking my Fiancé to my DR appts and she started learning about the illness. Call your Dr and insist on seeing him ASAP. If you can't get an Appt and things are really bad go to the ER. They don't really understand the illness but they can get u calmed down. I've had to do that and it saved my life

Soo sorry you are feeling that way. Can you call your pdoc? Therapist-if you have one? If you are feeling really bad-go to Er. They can at least give you some meds to help for now. I urge you, if you don't have psych md to get one-they are most uptodate with latest meds. Many people don't get "it/us" because it is not physical disease that they see...my husband never really got it...hang in there because people here get it! I was dx depression 16yrs ago, then 1-2yrs later moid disorder, then borderline bipolar. I was on very minimal meds until major event this yr brought it all back, and I'm back in therapy...it helps, don't be afraid to use these tools to help. Bring your husband to psych md, they can explain the brain chemicals/how meds regulate them...may help his logical side understand...can you do something to disteact you-take warm bath, read, watch tv, exercise, journal, play games on computer, craftsdo breathing/counting exercises...hang in there

I don't have any idea how to help you, but wanted you to know I care. My fiancé is extremely logical, too, and doesn't really understand. Seems that is common.

Thinking of you. Please do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.

When I started to see a therapist things got worse behaviors I hadn't had in 10 yrs. I would call your therapist tomorrow. Explain what's going on and ask for her a sooner appointment, to be placed on his/hers cancellation list or what her/ his idea is be prepared to hear going to the crisis unit, acute care or other program.

I am sorry you are struggling. I know the feeling with family not understanding and believing we can do what ever to break out of our mood. I cannot state that any one thing breaks me out of mood. I just do, I think you know what I mean. Thoughts and hugs. Be safe

I totally understand the husband not getting it. Mine often doesn't get it, not when I'm depressed. He usually says I need to try harder to get myself out of it or something along those lines. I've been hearing a lot of that lately. And he definitely doesn't understand that there can be no cause, that these moods can come out of nowhere. So I just wanted you to know you're not alone with that. I understand where you're coming from.

Thank you all so very much!!! I am tearing up (lol- like it takes much!) reading all of your messages of support.

I feel bad for my husband- I feel like deserves a better wife.

As for therapy, I have only recently begun again and our last session brought up horrible memories and then I couldn't get in for another 4 weeks. Wondering if those memories got hold of me without me realizing it and this is what I am left with. It's kind of like I was told to walk out on the plank and then have to wait there for a month. I will call tomorrow and try to get in sooner

Hang in there!! He doesn't deserve a better wife-you are a good wife,same as if you had diabetes, asthma, etc!! Those illnesses also go up/down, go to hospital, etc. I am not saying this lightly...I also used to think not good enough/he deserves better but HE was not perfect either, he has hiis own issues/illness.I used to get very very frustrated especially because my spouse just thought I could perk up, meds work and still juggle 2jobs, lids, house, etc...def call your therapist to get in sooner. Dont be afraid to admit you need see him/het every week. If they can't do it, maybe see if they will also do phone consultations, find support group in uour area to go to, maybe find different t who can see you1x/week...you need convince your t how bad you are feeling....I am not md...just saying try some othet things.
Hang in there. ..hugs...we know how it feels, you are not alone