I've not had the blessings, support, and love of a good wife and children, and not been able to generate income of more than a couple of dollars an hour over minimum wage. Why do I have to continue to wake up, breathe precious oxygen, and consume needed resources that less fortunate people need? Why can't the big one finally hit me during the night? There is absolutely no reason that I should continue taking up needed space in this universe of living chaos.

No amount of meds, therapy, or positive thinking will ever change my way of thinking. Did my religious upbringing do this to me? Was it too many late night parties and rendevous? Was it a couple of severe bangs to head during childhood with no doctor care?

I lost my will to live many years ago. Nothing will ever bring it back. Why do I have to continue to exist?

[Nammu]

I struggle with the same thoughts.

[Justugh]

your in the same boat as me ...........i lived in this boat now for almost 20 years

it comes down to a few things why
1 your not done yet something left for u to do (god's plan)
2 removing yourself from life alters the future .....the ppl u interact with u might not see the result but your action effect their life in someway ( i have lost count of the number of ppl i have helped )
3 u can think in ways that are strange to other ppl but to u it is normal thing........over the years in history great men/ladies have had something tweaked in their heads but because of that they could do think and change the world (they might of died in disgrace but time has fixed that)

[Crazy Hitch]

I hate it when I have these thoughts on the purpose of continuing to exist.

I'm sorry I can't offer any advice other than what I'm currently doing. I'm getting by by living in the exact moment that I'm in. This means blocking out the past and not contemplating the future. Otherwise it just gets too overwhelming for me in my present state of mind. It might not be the best strategy but it's how I'm coping. Right now.

[Curious651]

Sorry can't give you advice and even if I could it does not sound as though you're in a place to hear or wish to hear. I feel bad for what your thinking and relate very well. Thoughts come sometimes several times a month. Nothing helps when in that state. I try to tell myself it will pass or give one more day. Each time I give one more day it does pass and sometimes I don't even realize it. If anything can be taken from the words I write, tomorrow will come and can bring good things. If you stay in today and stop tomorrow (you know what I mean). Nothing will come. You be stuck right where you are. Hope this helps.

[littlemiss1970]

There is a plan for each and every one of us...you included. Things can get better I've been where you are countless times before. Thru meds, dbt, therapy, pdoc, aa and a few friends I've really improved. You've got to want it...to get better I mean. There is proof that things can and will turn around for you. Pray for peace of mind and pray hard. I do this whenever I'm having a tough day...and I still have them but for the most part I've stabilized. Don't give in to the darkness. Your life is precious...you are precious.

[Victoria'smom]

. I missed you!!!!

You mean a lot to me. You scared me!

Your not consuming things that "less fortunate people need." You are not getting the proper care from your team. You really could benefit from group or partial hospitalization (solely for the support and new faces). I really feel like you need a fresh start. I really feel you need a brake. This can change for you. There is a lot of times I don't take my life for fear of ending up in the hospital.

If you find why you lost it maybe it can be fixed or improved upon.

[LastQuestion]

I wonder the same thing regardless of any mood I mat be in. I never find an answer.

[Justugh]

Originally Posted by LastQuestion

I wonder the same thing regardless of any mood I mat be in. I never find an answer.

then shift your view from the complex to the simple...........kiss is not just for building or design (keep it simple stupid)

the meaning of life is simple 3 ls
live
love
learn

[Blitter2014]

I ask the same question often. You can have all the strategies in the world but if you don't have the willpower to do them, thats when its really hard.

For me, it is often the pain of yesterday's memories and the seemingly hopelessness of tomorrow that triggers my thoughts. Hence I try to think about today. That doesn't always work, but some form of distraction, mindfulness, exercise etc etc or other strategy does. Or simply allowing yourself to feel sad, mad, angry and being ok with it. Giving yourself a break, realizing everyone has bad days etc.

And medication. Well for me anyways.

hugs

God help me for saying this, but this has me where I truly think Money is the only answer and I mean lots of it. However, I'm told old to go play pro football, so a lot of money is unattainable. So why should I have to continue to exist?

Please no more plans for everyone bullshoot. I'm sick and tired of hearing bull garbage, wishful thinking junk. I'm a realist.

Enough of the plans for everyone bull garbage. I'm a realist.

As CCR sang... No, I'm not senator's son, I'm not a fortunate one.

[Justugh]

u got a case of the why mes as i call it where u are stuck in a looping thought and every time around it seems to get more pointless ...........i am dealing with my own now hence why i am here to pick up anything i can to ask the doctors about instead of starting from square one

it is not the money that is going to make u feel happy and life is worth living........ it is going to the work the challenge of the problems and seeing the results of something u did

[Creative1onder]

I'm alive, still here, but i don't feel i'm really living life now. I feel more dead than alive.