[Eva_Star]

Hi everyone. I have Bipolar 2 and am currently not on any meds (haven't been for a year and a half)...for some reason I give up meds before they can do any good. My former psych said that this is a common "trait" of people with Bipolar. **shrugs** Smoking (cigarettes) is my drug/coping method of choice but its just not working anymore AND I'm feeling the cigarettes taking a toll on my body. I'm approaching 40 and don't want smoking to take my life....I've smoked off and on for 22 years...probably more on than off.

Plus, I'm overweight and have a serious soda addiction as well...I look terrible, feel terrible and can't seem to do anything to improve my situation.

Everytime I try to quit, I swing into this rage cycle...I literally vibrate with irritation. I never make it through without going back to my habits. I am considering meds again but feel defeated...like I already know I won't stick with them. Its frustrating....so annoying.

I don't know what to do...any suggestions. I know you can't tell me what to do...I just need someone to tell me it can get better.

[wildflowerchild25]

Can you cut down slowly on cigarettes? Like limit yourself to a certain amount a day and slowly cut down that amount as you go on. That's always been my plan when I decide to quit (which better be soon, I can't afford cigarettes anymore). Maybe that will help. Or chew nicotine gum maybe? I don't know.

Also I wouldn't try to quit cigarettes AND soda at the same time. That's too much change. Just do tiny improvements. Like one less soda per day. I don't know, I always do better with slow change.

As for the meds, that really has to be your choice. Why do you always quit them? Is it because of side effects? Or do you just get annoyed taking meds? Not everybody can be on board the med wagon. They might help but you have to be willing to stick with them for a couple of months to see if you improve. That's up to you.

But it's not hopeless. You'll find something to help you. All is not lost!

[ChaoticSymphony]

Geodon I'm pretty sure makes soda taste like crap. Careful of the quit smoking aids, they've made several ppl extremely suicidal

[electricbipolargirl]

Originally Posted by ChaoticSymphony

Geodon I'm pretty sure makes soda taste like crap.

Oh wow, I've never heard of that. I'm on Geodon and soda tastes fine to me. Does it change the taste of soda for most people? I wish it did that to me so I could give up soda!

[Flyer]

Stop smoking gradually and planned. A stop smoking clinic worked well for me until several months later when I picked one up. That was all it took. One. There are many tips out there. You just have to find the ones that work for you. Make it a game with yourself. This is coming from a current smoker and it is hard for me to quit.

Sodas. Drink 1 less soda per day for a week, then one less more the next week until you get down to none. Replace the sodas with healthy drinks, ie lemon water. You can even use carbonated soda for the fizz.

I like watching the Dr Oz show. He has lots of healthy ideas to replace bad habits. I don't always agree, but take what I need. The soda tip is advice from his show. They also said you should replace a bad habit with a good one. If the habit isn't replaced, the odds are against your recovery. Makes good sense to me.

Best of luck and well wishes. Take good care of you! :group hug:

[Eva_Star]

Thanks everyone!

I have tried the taper down but I have zero self control. I have to give them to my husband to dole out...and that never ends well. lol We end up in a huge argument and he throws his hand up. I can't blame him, I'm such a b sometimes.

As for the meds...I have no idea why I quit them. I also have ocd, so that might be part of the problem. I get really obsessed about what the med is doing in my body, how its changing me, etc. I read everything I can find about its side effects until I am sure I'm about 2 seconds from whatever the worst case scenario would be. I know this is ridiculous but can't stop it...so then I quit taking it.

Ha! Even as I write that I can see the irony...I obsess about what the med will do to me but fill my body with a KNOWN danger like soda and cigarettes all day. That is so jacked up..I swear I just have to laugh at myself sometimes.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Eva_Star

Everytime I try to quit, I swing into this rage cycle...I literally vibrate with irritation. I never make it through without going back to my habits. I am considering meds again but feel defeated...like I already know I won't stick with them. Its frustrating....so annoying.

I just want to chime in here and identify with this, because I go wild when I try to quit. First time I tried, I lasted four hours. I was totally rageful, crying, just awful. Second time I lasted eight hours, and it was basically the same thing.

But the first time... I was in my junior year of college and my ex and I were at the supermarket and I wanted to buy a bag of lollipops to allay the oral fixation, and he balked, saying I'd gain weight. (I had an eating disorder from senior year of high school going into my first year of college and I'm very sensitive about my weight). I snapped and almost had a breakdown in the store. The tears were welling up in my eyes at the checkout. It was effing terrible. I flipped on him when we got home. And then I went back to smoking. Four hours in.

So I totally know how you feel. I've never met anyone else who's had this same problem with quitting. So it's nice to meet you!

I mainly use e-cigs now, but still smoke regular cigarettes. The e-cigs have helped me cut down from real cigs quite a bit, and it's a step in the right direction. IMO, the handful of chemicals in the e-cigs are overall a better option than the thousands of chemicals in regular cigarettes.

[Eva_Star]

Velouria!! That is it...exactly!

I feel like I need smoking rehab...or to be locked in a room for 3 months...something!

Originally Posted by Eva_Star

Hi everyone. I have Bipolar 2 and am currently not on any meds (haven't been for a year and a half)...for some reason I give up meds before they can do any good. My former psych said that this is a common "trait" of people with Bipolar. **shrugs** Smoking (cigarettes) is my drug/coping method of choice but its just not working anymore AND I'm feeling the cigarettes taking a toll on my body. I'm approaching 40 and don't want smoking to take my life....I've smoked off and on for 22 years...probably more on than off.

Plus, I'm overweight and have a serious soda addiction as well...I look terrible, feel terrible and can't seem to do anything to improve my situation.

Everytime I try to quit, I swing into this rage cycle...I literally vibrate with irritation. I never make it through without going back to my habits. I am considering meds again but feel defeated...like I already know I won't stick with them. Its frustrating....so annoying.

I don't know what to do...any suggestions. I know you can't tell me what to do...I just need someone to tell me it can get better.

I did Vaping and killed a 20 year habit in less than 6 months to be smoke free in a year
yay for me

[Eva_Star]

I should try vaping. I know several people who say they feel way better than when they smoked regular cigarettes.

A lot of quitting this med thing is either one hasn't fully accepted the diagnosis, or they're looking for the mania high. How about a life coach? I can use one. At least that's the two I go with. Now I'm med compliant.

[Eva_Star]

Hmmm... I accept that I'm bipolar but I guess I don't accept what that really means for my life. If that makes any sense. I like parts of me that seem to go away with meds. I like that I feel deeply, that I care deeply. I love those bursts of love that I get when I look at my children. I love that I cry at sappy love stories. All of that is deadened when I'm on meds...no burst of love...I can't even cry at all. What I don't love is the burst of anger, the sadness,the feel of being out of control. My mania isn't elation. It's irritation and anger...not fun.

I just can't seem to find a way to lessen the anger/irritation without losing those parts that make me feel like me...that make me feel alive. It's a difficult choice and I guess I'm just not ready to make it?

The anger/irration is symptoms of a mixed mood. I know, a choice has to be made. Their are meds out there that can do for you what you want. For instance, I don't want to be dumb, so I found Lamotrigine that does that for me, I stay clear headed and with emotion. I choose to not be a jerk to my kid, so I'm medicated. Sacrifices has to be made...curses bipolar!

[Eva_Star]

Is lamotrigine generic lamictal? I tried that for about 5 minutes...I can't even remember what my excuse for stopping that one was...I think I was convinced I would get The Rash. lol

You are right. Sacrifices need to be made. Sigh. **shakes fist in the air** Curses, Bipolar. haha!

Yes it is sweety. Very very very few gets the rash, lol.

[Eva_Star]

Haha! That is what I hear but my brain says that I will absolutely be The One to get it. I admit that its not rational.

I think I will call the med doc for an appt...but I have to talk to my husband about it. The last time he swore that he wasn't going throught the Great Med Debate again. I can't blame him. I'm sure its exhausting to deal with this over and over...and over again.