[Angelwngs25]

Ok, so I am in this other forum on the Lupus Foundation of America forums and there are multiple people on there that keep bullying me. And it has a lot to do with the fact that they know I have mental illness. The first post I ever made on there in the introductions section there were multiple people that called me crazy when I did something as innocent as revealing I am mentally ill and I think Lupus might be partly the cause of that. Ever since, every post I make they come on there and bully me. It makes me want to cry. I can't help that I am mentally ill. And it really hurts for them to be making fun of me or bullying me just because I am mentally ill.

[~Christina]

I'm sorry people are treating you so terrible.. Can you report there posting to the sites Moderators? Is there a way to ignore them like the option that PC offers here?

If the site doesnt insist on being supportive then maybe you should just stop going there, look for a more friendly support site. We have a health support forum list Its not going to just be about just Lupus , but its a forum full of people that have a medical struggle to learn to manage there illness and find support.

Sorry this happened to you..

[ChaoticSymphony]

I'm sorry you were bullied. Try to remember that it's about them not you. Hugs

[Velouria]

Well, I found that forum you're talking about. Wow. I'm really tempted to sign up just to go off on "Cakelady."

**** like this makes me so effing mad.

I don't know what to tell you except just don't go on the site anymore. Find an alternative. Those people are miserable. They're probably ****ing gleeful they've found someone who has it worse than them, and they're taking their misery over their own small lives out on you.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by Velouria

Well, I found that forum you're talking about. Wow. I'm really tempted to sign up just to go off on "Cakelady."

**** like this makes me so effing mad.

I don't know what to tell you except just don't go on the site anymore. Find an alternative. Those people are miserable. They're probably ****ing gleeful they've found someone who has it worse than them, and they're taking their misery over their own small lives out on you.

So, you saw one of the posts or both of the posts I made in the forum?

[Standup2me]

Stay away from it. It is toxic. You deserve to be treated
better than that

Angel, stay here with your family for support and respect

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Angelwngs25

So, you saw one of the posts or both of the posts I made in the forum?

Just one. You did fine in that one, your first one, they were huge assholes. Not everyone there was an asshole. Some were helpful.

I didn't realize there was another one you made.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by Velouria

Just one. You did fine in that one, your first one, they were huge assholes. Not everyone there was an asshole. Some were helpful.

I didn't realize there was another one you made.

Yeah, didn't I say that I made a first post in the introductions section of the forum?

Im currently reading through your first thread on that forum and agree with them completely.

You need to sort your mental issues out, perhaps with help from a supportive site like psychcentral.

Many of your symptoms are potentially symptoms of other diagnosis and self diagnosing lupus then getting irritated by people only trying to help is irrational.

Edited to add, Im only up to page 4, so I dont know if you perception of bullying gets worse but so far I would not call it cyber bullying.

Yep I've read both threads now, I dont see any bullying. I see someone overreacting to people who are trying to help you with correct information. I have a feeling you'll call this bullying too and continue to go to doctors until you get the diagnosis you want even if its incorrect.

I've read your posts on two different lupus forums. They are trying to give you the correct information about lupus, but you refuse to hear them and get upset when their factual information doesn't match up with your self-researched and apparently inaccurate information. You have self diagnosed lupus despite multiple doctors telling you that isn't the problem. You keep changing doctors and I suspect eventually you will find one who will give you the diagnosis you want, but it would seem to make more sense to find one specialist and work with them long-term so they can monitor your symptoms over time rather than hopping from doctor to doctor. You seem very fixated on this one diagnosis which probably isn't even the right diagnosis from what I am reading, which may be indicative of your mental health issues. Until you have a firm diagnosis, perhaps you need to stabilize your healthcare in all areas with a set of specialist who can work with you long-term.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

I've read your posts on two different lupus forums. They are trying to give you the correct information about lupus, but you refuse to hear them and get upset when their factual information doesn't match up with your self-researched and apparently inaccurate information. You have self diagnosed lupus despite multiple doctors telling you that isn't the problem. You keep changing doctors and I suspect eventually you will find one who will give you the diagnosis you want, but it would seem to make more sense to find one specialist and work with them long-term so they can monitor your symptoms over time rather than hopping from doctor to doctor. You seem very fixated on this one diagnosis which probably isn't even the right diagnosis from what I am reading, which may be indicative of your mental health issues. Until you have a firm diagnosis, perhaps you need to stabilize your healthcare in all areas with a set of specialist who can work with you long-term.

None of the specialists have ever wanted to work with me long-term. Kinda hard to do that if they don't even want to try to help you.

From what I read on your other forum posts, it sounds like your actual diagnosis is fibromyalgia which is what they probably need to treat you for but that you are rejecting that diagnosis and treatment. It would seem to make sense to find a rheumatologist or neurologist who specializes in treating that condition which seems to describe the symptoms you say you are dealing with.

[quasicrystalline]

I don't mean to stand on a soapbox here or anything, but ...

I don't think it's fair for us to say she does or doesn't have anything, no matter what she's posted on another forum, so let's try to refrain from this. It can take a long time to diagnose autoimmune conditions, but the suffering in the meantime is real, and we aren't doctors. We don't and can't know whether it's lupus, fibromyalgia, or something else. Again, not trying to stand on a soapbox here or anything. I just think we need to grant others this common courtesy on the web of not assuming what we think their illness is or what it's not, no matter how sure we are based on past posting. It's not fair to anybody.

Okay, stepping off the soapbox now...

I read through all the posts on Lupus of America forum, and I agree with the previous couple of posters for the most part. From what I can see, many individuals were trying to be helpful and simply delivering some of the frustrating news they know to be try about the US medical system. There were a few bitter posters who could've been MUCH MUCH nicer to you, yes, and I'm sorry they weren't. I'm sorry you feel ridiculed by them. That's never a fun feeling.

That said, I've noticed that you tend to jump to feeling as though others, your grandmother and other posters, are against you. Feelings are feelings, and I'm not discounting the frustration and torment these feelings cause you, but please try not to assume we're against you when we give you advice. Some posters are very blunt in the advice they give, and it might trigger some feelings of resentment, but most of the time, even they are trying to help you.

[Velouria]

I agree, that most of the advice was helpful.

However there is this (from Cakelady): "Angelwings to be honest I do think there is something wrong with you but not lupus..."

And this (also from Cakelady): "Sorry Angelwings but I think you are just plain crazy. Are you related to AshAsh? maybe a cousin?"

And this (same person): "Hell we do seem to attract the wack-a-dollies."

Cakelady also writes you a note that asserts a few things, isn't so bad, but then at the end she writes, "P.S. I still think you're crazy."

Which, IMO, is bullying.

It kinda escalates a little bit from there between two users.

I know when people call me crazy, I get really, really angry and hurt.

However, what happened was you initially ignored the person (Diane) who showed up to give you helpful, actually knowledgable advice and who was being empathetic, and engaged with the *****es who got defensive about your initial post in the first place. That was your mistake. Always ignore the ones who get like that.

Then you said this, in a response to Diane: "And when I get the Lupus diagnosis I am going to come back and laugh at all the people that basically called me crazy. Besides you of course Diane."

Why would you do that? Lupus is horrendous! Why would you want to be right about having it and rub it in their faces that you were diagnosed with it? I can see how that could offend people with the disease. It's absolutely awful.

Forums aren't battlegrounds. You're there to seek information and identify with people. Do people sometimes piss you off and say things that you don't agree with? Sure. Can you not help but say something in response sometimes? Sure. But don't let defensiveness turn into your primary goal when your primary goal was originally to seek answers for something way more serious. Then no one will take you seriously.

[quasicrystalline]

I couldn't have said it better, Velouria. Forums sure can turn catty at times. Try to stay out of the cattiness—some threads can turn into cesspools of negativity and fast!

Psychcentral is great, though. I've seen a few posts go sour (most of the time I think people just take things the wrong way though), but everyone's been fantastic to me here. I love how helpful everyone is. This is a safe place.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by quasicrystalline

I couldn't have said it better, Velouria. Forums sure can turn catty at times. Try to stay out of the cattiness—some threads can turn into cesspools of negativity and fast!

Psychcentral is great, though. I've seen a few posts go sour (most of the time I think people just take things the wrong way though), but everyone's been fantastic to me here. I love how helpful everyone is. This is a safe place.

Aw thanks!

I agree, PsychCentral is great. I think mostly everyone's helpful and open and supportive, and people make a genuine effort to understand each other. It's very nice, and refreshing. It is indeed a safe place.

Ain't that ironic? You put a bunch of folks with mental illness together on an online forum and on a regular basis they behave better towards each other than people without it. Go figure!

[cakeladie]

Originally Posted by Angelwngs25

None of the specialists have ever wanted to work with me long-term. Kinda hard to do that if they don't even want to try to help you.

You can not argue with the doctors you have to listen to them.