[secretgalaxy]

TRIGGER WARNING

But what about my college classes? it is too late to withdraw and I don't want it affecting my GPA... I don't even know if I qualify to go. I just feel like I am going crazy. I was so happy on Wednesday because I was for certain I was time traveling and then when it didn't happen, I became so upset I basically fought with my mom because I wanted to kill myself. I did attempt once and rehearsed it twice. I was just so full of awesome energy like two days ago... why did my birthday have to ruin it? I'm 18 now, so adult psychiatric hospitals are much different aren't they? I just want to voices to stop and the hallucinations to leave me alone, even if they are nice.

[Crazy Hitch]

((((secretgalaxy))))



I am sorry that you feel torn between this dilema of thinking about going to hospital vs is being too late to withdraw from college classes; I really am.

I am always a strong advocate that looking after our mental health is a priority above all others.

I know how hard this is.

It is certainly not easy.

But our mental health comes first.

May you find some peace and comfort with your decision.

Take care.

[wildflowerchild25]

I do think you should go inpatient, honestly.mattemptong suicide is not good. You've been struggling for a few weeks now from your posts. You've been very manic and now it seems to have turned to mixed.

Adult hospitals are not much different from teen hospitals, I think. You just have a little bit more freedom. You still have groups and see a doctor every day and all that. So don't worry about that.

As for college, you will most likely only be hospitalized for a week or two. Missing a few classes shouldn't hurt you. I was able to finish my online course after I was hospitalized in the fall. I missed discussions so I actually didn't pass (who knew a c+ wasn't passing?) but I think you'd be fine in a real life course. Just explain to your profs that you got sick. Have a doctors note ready for when you go back in case they need it.

I really think you need intervention, especially with the hallucinations and delusions you're having. Inpatient can help make them stop.

[secretgalaxy]

See, I don't know if I am going to be only in there for a week or 2 this time. I just came out in January and haven't been right since. I just want to be normal. My mom is trying to talk me into staying with her and that she will take care of me and help me sleep, but I just can't sleep. I will not do it. Not in my home. My mind won't let me and I just cannot do it and she doesn't get that. She is scared of losing me, but I am scared of hurting her again... Is this how life is going to be? Forever out of control of my mind?

[HALLIEBETH87]

You know yourself the best. If you feel you need inpatient, go.

[BipolaRNurse]

If you're even questioning whether you need to go IP, you do. You have to take care of your health or nothing will work in your life. Please go, now. It will be worth it.

[yanks7]

You might even talk to the Dean of your college and see if you can take incompletes and complete the courses when you are healthy or retroactive withdrawals might be an option

[secretgalaxy]

My family is home now, so we will discuss what will be the best for me... I am just scared

[Fuzzybear]

[secretgalaxy]

We are going to try a few more days with me taking trazadone possibly to help me sleep and to see if I get better with sleep. If any of my urges get really bad or I become seriously delusional again, we will go, as well as if I don't improve either. We thought about going back to my "pdoc" (I don't actually think he is one, just a regular doctor pretending to be one) but it takes so long to see him, plus if the meds react badly with me, I have to wait 2-3 weeks with no contact with him. So going to the hospital will help me be stable quicker, then just manage them outside of it.

[butterflypower]

I had to withdraw twice due to hospitalizations. My university was pretty understanding. It's stressful withdrawing because of the waste of money. I haven't made it pass my first semester yet because of my hospitalizations. In the end, your health is more important than school. I wish you luck! I hope you stay safe! We do care here!

[secretgalaxy]

I am so sorry about that Butterflypower! The biggest problem is that I am in an early college high school, so I didn't pay for these classes. I complete HS in two years instead of four and then I get two free years of college. So if I drop out, I don't know if we will have to pay or not and I know we cannot afford it.

[butterflypower]

Oh no I'm sorry to hear that! Its important to seek help soon though!

[cakeladie]

Originally Posted by secretgalaxy

I am so sorry about that Butterflypower! The biggest problem is that I am in an early college high school, so I didn't pay for these classes. I complete HS in two years instead of four and then I get two free years of college. So if I drop out, I don't know if we will have to pay or not and I know we cannot afford it.

I am so sorry you feel like hurting yourself and I am glad your family is home with you.

I have never been in the hospital like that but if you need to go you need to go. You have you whole life ahead of you. If you talk to you teachers they may be able to help you or give you extra time on your school work. It will work out but you have to take care of YOU. YOU are important and YOU are special. Never forget that.

[secretgalaxy]

Thank you �� I will try to do my best at beating this mania/mixed episode down. I took 200 mg of trazadone (sleeping pill) to see if it will knock me out. So far no effect but hopefully soon it will!