[raspberrytorte]

Hello. I'm new to this site and a little shy about posting, but here it goes.

I received a diagnosis of bipolar type 2 seven years ago. I never cared because my main problem was depression, and I looked at it in a positive way because I had nice weeks of productive hypomania.

However, at the end of january I had a mania induced psychotic break, which led to a suicide attempt and five day involuntary hospital stay (because of my psychosis I didn't see myself as suicidal. I wasn't depressed. I felt I was dreaming, was building up positive energy, and thought my way of waking up was to take some pills, and when I woke up my positive energy would be released and all negativity in the world would be erased, and that I would pretty much save the world). During my psychosis I also experienced hallucinations, like seeing words spelled backwards, like you would in dreams, etc. There was more, but it doesn't matter right now I guess.

Anyway, terrifying experience. And now I just feel so angry! I'm angry about having this disorder. I'm angry about our enormous medical debt now. Bipolar has become very real to me now. I've been frantically trying to figure out how I can have it. There is no family history I am aware of, and I know it's normally hereditary, so how can I have it?! Can you have it with no family history? I'm just mad at the world right now! How can I have this? NO ONE in my family does! Depression and anxiety yes, but no bipolar.

Anyone on here have it with no family history? The inpatient doctor, after reviewing my seven year history since being diagnosed, said I have it, but how?! My old doctor retired, and the new one I'm seeing said she doesn't know if I have it or not. My husband said who cares about the label, just as long as the treatment for it is helping me. Ugh! How can I have this?!

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central (PC) raspberry. Sorry to hear you have been suffering from a depression for many years. Staying on the meds is important to keep on a balanced, grounded place. Going off meds cold turykey can have bad side affects.

Getting sleep may be the single one thing that keeps people in balance. If you are not sleeping contact your psychiatrist and tell him what is happening so you can make adjustments.

Some people at PC will find a therapist will also help them sort out the roots of their life.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
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Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I have no known family history

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm the first and only person in my family to be diagnosed with bipolar, although looking back, I'd be willing to bet that my mother had it too. She was very mercurial and moody, but of course mental illness did not exist in our family.....and if you didn't believe it, all you had to do was ask her.

There is a lot of depression and anxiety in my family, including a grandmother who once spent some time in a "sanitorium" for a "nervous breakdown" and a sister with dysthymia. And I have a son who leaves little doubt that he is an undiagnosed BP, as he's had wild mood swings his whole life. We took him to therapy appointments from the time he was in preschool, but no one ever thought to refer him to a pdoc. I don't know how he passed the psych eval going into the Army back in '08, but he did. He wound up with PTSD after his tour of duty in Iraq and one Army psychologist wanted to dx him with BP as well, but didn't because he wanted to continue his military career at the time. (He is now out.)

Honestly, one doesn't have to have ANY bipolar in their family to be diagnosed with the illness. It makes a stronger case in people who aren't clearly BP, but is not required to make the dx.

I have 2 family member with schizophrenia.

[raspberrytorte]

Mental illness doesn't exist in my family either. No one talks about it, even if it clearly does (not bipolar, just depression). Also, medication is evil, so I get a lot of grief for being on it. My sister abuses alcohol. Apparently alcohol abuse is better than medication?

Honestly, totally fine with diagnosis until january experience. I feel traumatized from it. I've never experienced anything so awful. I've never completely lost touch with reality like that. Even after I got out of the hospital I wasn't one hundred percent back to normal and ended up taking two weeks off from work.

It came out of no where. I hadn't had any episodes since a really bad depression episode two years ago that lasted three months.

I've been getting enough sleep. I take seroquel now in addition to lamictal (before I was just fine on my 300mg of lamictal). I also take clonazepam, and alprazolam, but the alprazolam is prn.

I'd been inpatient twice before the january experience, but both of those were voluntary (first one was because I was rapid cycling and completely unstable, and the second was because I was depressed and suicidal).

Just mad at the world about this right now!

But, at least I'm not the only one with no family history to have it. Not that I want anyone to have it of course.

Thanks for the responses.

[MyUsername1111111]

Just a bunch of narcissists in the family.

I am surprisingly the least emotional of my entire family

[Trippin2.0]

Only me, everyone else is neurotypical.


Nobody knows why or how we develop bipolar, genes are just a clue doctors having been holding on to for dear life.

[RisuNeko]

Do you have any unexplained suicides in your family history? I have an aunt who has Bipolar, but the two unexplained suicides one on my mom's side and one on my dad's side were another clue. No diagnoses because it was so long ago, but I'm willing to bet there was some sort of MI in play.

[scatterbrained04]

I have no family history of bipolar, although I suspect some undiagnosed BP2 on my mom's side of the family.

I've heard also to take in consideration family history of schizophrenia and seizure disorders (also none diagnosed in my family).

[avlady]

i have schitzophrenia and bipolar, it is like a death sentence to me. meds help control it, but the depression is dibilitating too. keep taking meds.

[Crazy Hitch]

This is a very interesting question.

I've always maintained if you shake my family tree hard enough all of the apples will fall out the tree

I think there are heaps of undiagnosed disorders in my family.

[MyUsername1111111]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

I think there are heaps of undiagnosed disorders in my family.

Same.

From the arm chair..

Dad - NPD, AsPD traits
Grandma 1- Malignant NPD
Gpa - an angel, but a war veteran who has no trouble killing at the same time

Mom - Codependant, possible covert-narcissism
Sister - Borderline
Grandma 2 - an angel
Gpa - an angel

I have one side relatively normal and sweet, and one side controlling and malignant. I guess it is why I am so good at playing many parts.. I have seen emotional, normal people (mom and sister) and learned to mimic their expressions and the way they talk about morals/passions. I watch my mom cry with the fatties on The Biggest Loser and such.. and then my dad.. well, i guess i learned a lot from him too. Mostly what Not to do, but a lot of good, manly/dominant traits from him. I am more a thinker than him, though, he more a talker. Although I am diagnosed with both NPD and AsPD, i find my AsPD tends to become the dominant force the older i become.

[raspberrytorte]

No unexplained suicides. At least none I know about.

[raspberrytorte]

But, upon reflection, I am suspicious of an aunt on my dad's side of the family, that she may have bipolar.

And then I was thinking even more about it and no one in my family knows I was recently in the hospital because I was psychotic. I didn't tell my mom and dad or sister, so my family is clueless. Only people who know are my husband's mom and dad and sister and brother-in-law. So, I'm not telling. There are probably other family members who aren't telling either.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by avlady

i have schitzophrenia and bipolar, it is like a death sentence to me. meds help control it, but the depression is dibilitating too. keep taking meds.

Trust me. I DO NOT plan on stopping my meds anytime in the near future. ;o) I DO NOT want a repeat of my last episode. I'm even staying on the seroquel, despite how I'm worried about becoming morbidly obese on it and only being able to fit into sweat pants. And how it makes me want to eat everything and I dream about frosting and chocolate cakes and fantasize about buffets.

I would take depression any day over my last episode. At least when I'm depressed I'm a stable depressed person! During my last depression episode it sucked, and I was suicidal, and I lost about twenty pounds, but at least I was stable (well, stable depressed!). And I was able to deal with it a lot better. Luckily I came out of that one on my own (and with a lamictal dose increase).

[Skywalking]

Here's the thing: nobody in my family has a diagnosis of bipolar, and we never talk about people's issues except in hushed whispers. But my psychiatrist is adamant, after me talking a good bit about my family's history of depression, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and poor decision-making, that several of my family members do in fact have undiagnosed bipolar.

So just because you don't have a family history doesn't mean you don't have a family history, if you get me? Especially if, as you say, they consider it a private affair and think medicine is evil.

Much support to you, dear! I hope you'll be getting better and better from here.

[Nevvy]

My mother and sister are BP, and my uncle committed sx and was before that suspected of BP as well. I had a very traumatic past (because of direct family dx as well as other things) so that also (I heard) played a role in my BP.

I believe it's very possible to be BP without a family history, there's a good article about it on here somewhere I think?

[BlackSheep79]

My sister has dysthymia. Both of my grandmothers were undiagnosed OCD. No one has been diagnosed as bipolar. I wasn't around my moms twin brother much, but from the stories of uncontrollable rages he would go into growing up I wonder, but still that doesn't necessarily mean someone has bipolar.

[~Christina]

I have Zero family history. I was a late diagnose age 43. My daughter was diagnosed 3 mos after me at age 19.

[Sunnyhunny00]

No one dx in my family either but I can almost see how there is some sort of MI going on on my moms side. My family swears up and down my older sister has it. Can't believe I do though. Literally, won't believe its true.

My mom's side of the family fights with each other like no other. They are all in denial and blame the other for an illness.