[stressedmama]

I have some questions to those who have been hospitalized either voluntarily or not. What caused you/or others to admit you to the hospital. If you admitted yourself, how did you know you needed to be hospitalized. Especially the first time if you've been admitted more than once. If you admit your self can you check yourself out? Where you working at the time? Kids? If so what did you tell your employer? The kids?

I'm in a pretty dark place right now, and I can feel myself slipping down even darker...I've never been admitted anywhere before, but I've never been where I am either. My bipolar is still intensifying like a disgusting monster that just keeps growing, getting stronger and stronger with every day.

I don't understand why my T hasn't put in the #$@! referral the $&@^$ P-Doc yet. He just keeps referring me to these stupid "Groups". I don't want these damn groups, I want to see the ##$%#*#*#&* DOCTOR!!!!!! I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE, I AVOID SPENDING TIME AROUND GROUPS OF PEOPLE AS MUCH AS I CAN, WHY THE F WOULD I VOLUNTARILY GO TO MULTIPLE "GROUP" SESSIONS!?!?!!?

[wildflowerchild25]

I started being hospitalized in my teens so it wasn't exactly voluntary. I wasn't committed but really my mom signed me in. The very first time was because I cut myself (scratched really) on my wrist. I ended up at the crisis center and got admitted for suicidal ideation.

I was in and out of hospitals, voluntary and not, until I was 19. Generally when I decided to go I was just work out and needed a break from life. I was also suicidal but it was controllable. I just didn't want to deal with it. Then I got my **** together and stayed out for six years.

Flash forward to now. I am married with a son and a teaching career. I have been hospitalized six times in three years. All voluntary, but I've only sought it myself a couple of times. I know it's time to go to the hospital when the images of suicide are so clear and strong that I don't know if I can stop myself. I don't go when I am simply depressed, no matter how horrific it is. But when I feel out of control, I seek help. I have just told my employer that I am sick and need to be hospitalized. They have been very understanding.

The hospital might be a good move for you because you don't have a pdoc right now. They can tweak your meds and give you a pdoc referral or hook you up with an IOP or PHP. Although, that might be an option if you don't want to go full inpatient. You can try to find an intensive outpatient or partial hospital program. A PHP would be an all day thing, like 9-3, every day of the week. You'd see a pdoc and therapist weekly and spend time in group therapy during the day, but you could still go home.

I hope you find something to help you soon.

[wiretwister]

I went for outpatient on a referal from the er after a police intervention ,,, they kept me for a week,, all and all a good experience.. I got lucky and was allowed short term disability from work... was off a full month with out patient group all day five days a week.. if you feel you need it you probibly do..good luck,,best wishes

[Resident Bipolar]

I've been admitted both voluntarily and involuntarily, although I've been out of psych wards for about three years now (go me).

Originally Posted by stressedmama

What caused you/or others to admit you to the hospital?

I was admitted voluntarily for suicidal behaviours, self harm and suicide plans. One time I literally begged to be admitted because I wanted to be safe and unable to harm myself. The other voluntary times I was asked if I'd go into hospital voluntarily and was told that if I didn't, they'd have to look into me going onto a section and therefore going into hospital - so I agreed. Really though, when I've gone in voluntarily I've been cool with the idea. Anxious, worried and upset but okay with the idea. When I was admitted involuntarily, it was a mixture. I was suicidal, someone found out about my plans, I'd tried to take my own life (almost succeeded twice), self harming, manic, psychotic, whatever. Almost always either my mum voiced her concerns or my psych just did an assessment to have me sent to a ward there and then.

Originally Posted by stressedmama

how did you know you needed to be hospitalized

Possible trigger:

Because I had tried, or was 90% sure I was going to try, to end my life. And on top of that because I was self harming bad enough to need internal and external stitches, occasionally hallucinating and because I felt like I needed more support because I couldn't handle life anymore and needed some "time out".

Originally Posted by stressedmama

If you admit your self can you check yourself out?

Theoretically, yes. However, in reality it can be a very different situation. Once I was absolutely adamant and hell-bent on leaving. I'd admitted myself voluntarily and eventually (after four weeks or so) decided that I wanted to get out of there. I cried, I shouted and I called my mom.

As I was underage at the time, even if they were willing to let me go, my mum would have to sign a release form against medical advice before they'd discharge me. So I called my mum crying and crying and begged her to come up and sign me out; she said she would drive up and sign me out as long as I promised her that I wouldn't harm myself. So I went back to the psychiatrist there and told him with a smile on my face that my mum would come up and sign me out against his advice and I can go.

That's where he turned. He said that if she did, he would have no option to get social involved and put me on a section - therefore turning me from an "informal" patient to a "formal patient"; I would be sectioned and therefore could be looking at six months or more stuck in there before he'd reconsider, whereas if I stayed voluntarily, it would only be another couple of months.

It was at that point that my heart sank. I screamed and screamed and cried and cried. I was utterly devastated. In that situation, at the age of 15, you just want your mummy to come and save you from these evil people keeping you locked up in a prison where you're surrounded by people that you don't know and that scare you (that's seriously how it can feel when you get worked up about being there). It sounds funny but what made it ten times worse is that one of the songs they played over the radio in there at the time had a lyric like "I wanna come hooommmeeeeee", and that made me get even more worked up every time it came on.

Anyway. Yeah. You often can sign yourself out if you go into hospital voluntarily (informally) but if the psych there decides that you aren't ready to go yet, he/she can stop you by then sectioning you and making you a formal/involuntary patient. If you've given the choice between staying their voluntarily or being made to stay there under a section, you should take the voluntary option every time. You have more rights as a voluntary patient, and you have more of a chance of getting out earlier in the end. If you disagree, you mustn't go all guns blazing and risk a section - you should stay voluntarily and seek legal advice.

I know this is all hypothetical but it's still applicable.

I've obviously never been working during these times, but have missed a lot of my exams which I am suffering for now.

[Velouria]

Have you told your T you need a pdoc and not group therapy?

Have you said you're getting worse?

Have you asked your T point blank why s/he still hasn't given you a pdoc referral?

When is your next appt with your T?

[jacky8807]

I cant even get over that fsct you have dx and psych meds and thy dont MAKE you see a pdoc for the meds ect. I mean....thats crazy. I never saw anything like it
Demand it

[butterflypower]

When I was hospitalized, it was for suicide attempts. The doctor told me to just come if I even thought about it. One lady said she went to the hospital because she was on a verge of a nervous breakdown. With my job, I just told them I was in the hospital and they understood. I work part-time at a little grocery store, so I didn't play a big role. With the kids, I don't have any, but tell them your sick and will be in the hospital for a little bit. I hope you seek the help you need.

Havent read the whole thread but groups are good. Intensive outpatient groups are better than being admitted.

The system is very different here, I have health insurance so I am voluntarily in a private clinic. I am allowed to go to work and uni from here but thats not been going so well yet and Im glad I've been able to come back to a safe environment with supportive nurses who can help me cope with the dramas surrounding work and uni.

Involuntary is a whole other kettle of fish. I have been involuntary 3 times (maybe more, I tend to block out traumatic experiences. It gave me PTSD the first time, horrible experience. I would never go through the public system again unless my carers decided it is the safest place.

[Nammu]

My first time I didn't have a choice, I think I was admitted from the ICU. After that there has been numerous voluntarily and involuntary IPs. Some of the voluntary visits were hobson's choice, meaning I could check in myself or they would check me in, going in voluntary is always better.

Why don't you just call the doc who's been giving you your meds and tell them how bad it is and that the groups aren't helping right now. It's always best to go though your own doctor than an ER. Groups are better at therapy than hospitals especially in the US where they mostly just switch out meds and then send you out again.

[dillpickle1983]

My first time I really didn't have much of a choice. I went to a clinic, and had a nervous breakdown and low and behold they had a psych unit attached to the clinic and I was escorted too. That was in Florida. I've only been involuntary 3 times the rest have been voluntarily, which is the best way to go if you value your freedom. Most times I was suicidal or I had lost someone or I was just going through lots of stuff and needed to be in a safe place. I haven't really had any "bad" experiences though. So far so good.

[Wander]

My first admission was after a lengthy time of me trying to be strong, to avoid being admitted as I was terrified of it. It was only after my husband heard a gunshot and came running back to the house where I was, thinking i was dead. He then lay on my lap crying that I realised I needed to be admitted to at least give him some sense of peace. I hadn't realised the impact my wildness, impulsiveness and instability had on my family and friends until that moment. It was that afternoon that I let my husband call my psychiatrist and get the ball rolling. And I am glad I did. Being inpatient (many, many times) has saved my life and been so beneficial to me. i am so thankful for the health system here as it hardly costs me anything except my insurance premiums. Otherwise I would not be able to afford treatment as I am on a very low income.

[stressedmama]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

I cant even get over that fsct you have dx and psych meds and thy dont MAKE you see a pdoc for the meds ect. I mean....thats crazy. I never saw anything like it
Demand it

Ya, see my most recent post "frustrated"....you'd be amazed. I'm so beyond pissed off with the whole situation I can't even stand it.

[BipolaRNurse]

I've only been hospitalized once (so far, anyway) and it was a good experience as these things go. I went IP last fall when it became apparent that I was either going to go in, or kill myself.....it was that bad. A week in the hospital got me away from my life on the outside, which I desperately needed, and made me safe, which I definitely wasn't at home (not with access to a revolver and a pharmacy's worth of pills).

The worst part of the whole experience was when I was transferred to a different hospital from the ER and had to ride in a secure transport vehicle, which was exactly like a police car with the cage and locked doors. I'm pretty claustrophobic and it took the transport team a little time to talk me down because I was getting panicky. But they were very kind and I calmed down pretty quickly, and it didn't take all that long to get to the facility. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I ever get that freaking depressed in the future.

Well the first time I was hospitalized, I was traveling on a bus out of town. I kind of lost my mind, was crying, hallucinating, misreading the old testament bible. Anyway I was taken off the bus by the police (who mistreated me) and hospitalized me 10 days against my will. A lot of my involuntary hospitalizations were by the police being called because I lost touch with reality and acted strangely.

One voluntary hospitalization was when I poisoned myself and almost died. I panicked and asked my sister to take me to the hospital. I was losing the feeling in my legs and my pupils were dilating.

One time my mom called the ambulance because I tried overdosed on pills.

Another time I was taken because I took too many pills again.

My psych doctor hospitalized me because I was losing my grip on reality.

One time the voices in my head had gotten so bad and I had been manic for months ( I was taken off of my meds for a particular reason). I had insomnia, paranoia, and really bad hallucinations. There were all sorts of voices coming from everywhere and they wouldn't stop. I have bad psychosis. Anyway I called the ambulance from a restaurant and asked them to take me to the hospital psych ward.

[raspberrytorte]

I'd go voluntary. You can avoid a lot of drama that way (like police showing up at your door and asking if you're going to cooperate, ambulances, handcuffs, handcuffs in squad cars, handcuffs while be escorted into your final destination hospital... Why do they have to hamdcuff you anyway?! It wasn't like I was going to run away!).

Anyway, voluntary. And do it BEFORE you completely lose your mind.

My first two times were voluntary (well...they involved my husband pretty much dragging me to the ER). Your work will get over it. You don't have to say why you're in the hospital.

Ya, this January I was in self destruct mode, mixed and manic and downing lots of liquor. My arms weren't to pretty either. All of a sudden my living room was filled with uniforms, about 4 of em because my partner called them. I didn't understand why, I thought I was having a good time. Out comes the handcuffs and I thought that I was going to jail. I came to in the ER and I couldn't sit still wanting to talk to the doctors being a drunk manic. For some reason they kept yelling at me to go back in the room. I did but couldn't stand sitting down by myself. Next thing I know the doctor and nurse threw me on the bed and gave me a shot in the butt to knock me out, and they sounded like they were enjoying it! I woke up the next day to fail my psych eval and get committed for 2 weeks. At least it was a decent hospital. I rather enjoyed myself being a new thing. They usually just take me to jail. I can say I prefer a hospital over a jail anyday. We tried a few new meds but ended up just increasing my Lamictal another 100 mg which did settle me down. I'll do anything to not go back, but I'm not going to go to jail again either.

[manicattack]

I have been voluntarily admitted to IP twice. The first time, I was manic and felt it, but went out drinking with friends and was having a great time until I felt the lows hitting. And they hit hard. I got home and freaked out. My roommate/best friend was also having emotional/mental issues so she was no help and I ended up cutting myself to relieve the stress and it worked. But she called the cops and they talked me into getting help. So my counselor came after I sobered up at the hospital and she asked how things were (I was unmedicated due to not being diagnosed with bipolar I yet, and I had been waiting for a psych eval for two months). I told her not good but I was NOT going to the IP where I lived (because I had several friends that had been there and it was NOT a good place). But she referred me to the better hospital an hour away and it wasn't bad. I stayed for four days and after seeing the psychiatrist there the first morning, he said I didn't just have depression, I was bipolar, and that's why I kept cycling through being extremely down and then on top of the world. He put me on lithium.

The second time I was put in IP I called 911 myself. My bf at the time was super confused and being no help and just kept telling me I was "just fine and calm down." But I knew that I'd been manic for a couple weeks and the downfall was coming, and I started to cut and then stopped and just called. I stayed a full week that time and I was switched to Tegretol and Ativan from lithium and Xanax.

I do not have kids. The second time I had a job, told them I was hospitalized and they were fine with it. I even took extra days off at home to settle back down and they were really understanding.

I did not like going to groups. I am a smart *** and most of the time, group leaders don't like it. I was told off multiple times for "deflecting" instead of "feeling" the last time I was hospitalized. I wasn't- I am naturally a humorous smart ***, no matter what I'm feeling like. I had knee surgery recently and was just given the anesthetic, and was being wheeled into the surgery room. It was ice cold and the nurse asked if I was cold and wanted a blanket. I was about to pass out but said, "I'd prefer a hot tottie," right before falling asleep.

I don't like speaking in groups. I did go to one group after my DUI though, and it was helpful. It was court-ordered so I had no choice, but the leader was interesting and smart (ex-doctor that lost his license because he stole morphine). So it might be I just had crap luck with group therapy.

[manicattack]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Ya, this January I was in self destruct mode, mixed and manic and downing lots of liquor. My arms weren't to pretty either. All of a sudden my living room was filled with uniforms, about 4 of em because my partner called them. I didn't understand why, I thought I was having a good time. Out comes the handcuffs and I thought that I was going to jail. I came to in the ER and I couldn't sit still wanting to talk to the doctors being a drunk manic. For some reason they kept yelling at me to go back in the room. I did but couldn't stand sitting down by myself. Next thing I know the doctor and nurse threw me on the bed and gave me a shot in the butt to knock me out, and they sounded like they were enjoying it! I woke up the next day to fail my psych eval and get committed for 2 weeks. At least it was a decent hospital. I rather enjoyed myself being a new thing. They usually just take me to jail. I can say I prefer a hospital over a jail anyday. We tried a few new meds but ended up just increasing my Lamictal another 100 mg which did settle me down. I'll do anything to not go back, but I'm not going to go to jail again either.

I had PTSD symptoms after being treated horribly at the hospital. I tried killing myself (bottle of Xanax, sleep aids, fifth of vodka) and had cut myself all up.

I woke up in the hospital to this male nurse scrubbing my wounds HARD. And I said, "Ow, what the f*** that hurts!" But I could barely move because I was so sedated.

And he said, "That's what happens when you do stupid *****." And kept scrubbing hard as hell.

My parents made me file a grievance with the hospital. They didn't want legal action taken. My hospital bill disappeared.

I still cry thinking about it sometimes because nurses have power over people when they are at their weakest and do stuff like this. I had a cop be super mean to me, too, when I went to jail. I was very obviously distressed and he was being absolutely horrendous. Worst part was I was compliant and he was acting like I was resisting arrest. He screwed my wrist up and I ended up going to the doctor after being released because of it. Nothing could be done though- his word against mine.

[lunaticfringe]

I've been hospitalized voluntarily three times. The first time was because I was destroying the house smashing everything and could not control my rage and was being abusive. I was pounding enough whiskey to kill a horse and arrived at the hospital sobbing and hallucinating. The place I arrived at had no beds so I had to wait overnight to be transported to a horrible facility where patient neglect was happening. The second time it was because I was manic and couldn't take it anymore. I was plagued with thoughts of going away to a resort and couldn't get the thoughts out of my head. I was crying constantly because I knew I would not be able to live out my grandiose plans. I ended up losing my job because of this. The third most recent time was because I was ranting and yelling for days and acting violent. Luckily each time I've had enough insight to know I needed help. Basically whenever I'm having strong SI I know I need to go. I hope to never go back but realistically it will probably happen again.