 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Apr 23, 2015, 04:17 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
HI all, if you have read any of my posts recently you know I am very depressed. I saw my pdoc and T in the last few days and both recommended IP if I can't manage on my own. The problem is the hospital I would be admitted to is in the middle of major renovation and would be a noisy environment. This noise, I think, will only make me feel more trapped and desperate so I refused admission. It is also my Bday on Saturday so I don' want to be IP for that, not that I have any raging parties planned.
My mood is extremely low, desperate and hopeless, and in despair with SI. I know these are big red flags but I don't want to be in a construction zone. My pdoc is also going away for three weeks so I would be under another doctor. I know the doctor and he is nice but I would much prefer to wait and be admitted under mine. Two days ago I started Prozac so maybe that will pull me out without needed to go IP. The problem is I am suicidal now, desperate now. I am trying to hang on and do all I can to combat this monster but I am having trouble seeing clearly right now. I am drowning but managing to get up for breath long enough to stay alive. What do I do? I know, go IP is the obvious idea but I really am afraid that the noise with trigger me to do a runner and be even more distressed. I am at a loss. At the moment my plan is to make it through to my Bday and reassess. I also have work and study commitments that I cannot afford to miss, esp work as I have already had way to much time off in the last 8 months due to this ***** bipolar. I am so confused right now. Sorry to rant yet again about my depression. It is just really bad this time.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
 Anonymous45023, cashart10, raspberrytorte
|
 Crazy Hitch
|
|
#2
Apr 23, 2015, 04:29 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Can you bring ear plugs? I know it's annoying when they're doing renovation, I was inpatient once and they started renovating right outside my room in the middle of the night.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Wander
|
|
#3
Apr 23, 2015, 08:21 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Can you be admitted to another hospital, even one your pdoc isn't associated with?
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| Wander
|
| BeyondtheRainbow, BipolaRNurse, cashart10
|
|
#4
Apr 23, 2015, 07:10 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
If suicide is on the table front and center you need to go be IP somewhere. If you can't handle the noise ( that would make my problems worse as I have huge noise issues) Go to another hospital or stand alone mental health facility.
It's not always a bad thing to have a fresh new set of eyes take a look at you and your treatment plan. Maybe you need a complete over haul or just a nudge in dose here and there. As for Work and your studies, well I'll be blunt if you slip and try to end things. Well then things like a job or studies won't matter at all. Keep yourself safe 
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| cashart10, Wander
|
|
#5
Apr 23, 2015, 07:38 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I always say if you are merely "thinking" that you may be at the point of IP - GO.
We're here for you. |
|
#6
Apr 23, 2015, 07:39 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thanks for the replies guys. Ear plugs are a good idea. It is my Bday tomorrow so if I won't do anything rash before or during that. It is my goal to get through these two days.
You are right Christina. Still, I am trying to handle this at home, esp with my Bday tomorrow. Depression is hell. I cannot think clearly. I guess if I still feel terrible tomorrow I will have to consider IP seriously. I just cannot hold on much longer. It scares me. My mind scares me. Today the SI is under control but still there. My parents are aware of how I am and will take me to hospital if need be. I am staying at their place on saturday so at least I will be safe then. Tonight I am supposed to be going out with a couple of new friends from work. I don't feel up to going but really need something to do as evenings are bad. I am talking in circles. I know I need IP but I am resisting it for some reason. The depression is eating me alive and confusing my thoughts.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| Anonymous37883, Victoria'smom
|
|
#7
Apr 23, 2015, 07:46 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Yes -
"My mind scares me." Still worthwhile going. You'd get a mental health screening there. See what they say and take it from there. They may / may not wish to admit you. I don't believe you're in any frame of mind to make this decision. Let them help you make the best choice. Regardless of what the final outcome is. |
| Wander
|
|
#8
Apr 24, 2015, 04:03 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My plan now is to hang in there until I have finished my Bday dinner tomorrow. Then my parents can take me to ER if necessary. I just don't want to be in ER for my Bday and think I can manage one more day. Very bad timing to have a crisis.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
|
#9
Apr 24, 2015, 07:50 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I totally understand not wanting to go IP. I usually have to be dragged to the hospital. However, if you are feeling very bad, I would recommend going voluntarily. Then at least you can leave whenever you want, especially if the noise bothers you.
Oh, and happy birthday!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| Wander
|
|
#10
Apr 24, 2015, 10:41 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
How are you doing ?
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
|
#11
Apr 24, 2015, 11:53 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
When I'm IP I always take a bunch of earplugs as well as soundblockers (like people wear for shooting or on a tractor except mine are even quieter). The last time I was in the nurse gave me a medicine cup to keep the plugs in. The day I was going home the OT stopped in and freaked out that I had not taken my pills on my last day and that I would need to stay before she saw what was in the cup.
 (Those sound blockers, you can get them at Walmart in the hunting section) really do help. I've been allowed to keep them when using them but return them when not using them because they do have a wire that if you were incredibly strong you could break and hurt yourself but mostly they're judged safe). I even sleep in them sometimes IP although it's not comfortable. Quote:
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| Wander
|
|
#12
Apr 24, 2015, 11:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I hope things are going better for you.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Wander
|
|
#13
Apr 25, 2015, 12:32 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Just by reading the title hun, if you got to ask, then you must go. Get well!
|
| Wander
|
|
#14
Apr 25, 2015, 12:42 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My rule of thumb is, "If I'm wondering if I should go IP, then I should probably go IP." Happy birthday, by the way.
__________________
DX: Bipolar I Daily: Lamotrigrine 200 mg PRN: Seroquel 25 mg |
| Wander
|
|
#15
Apr 25, 2015, 04:27 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
PS Thanks everyone for your concern. It seems I have dodged the IP bullet this time. That was a close one.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| Anonymous48690, cashart10, ~Christina
|
| cashart10, ~Christina
|
|
#16
Apr 25, 2015, 08:50 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Just a word of caution here, ADs and alcoholic beverages do not mix well. If you get drunk it could make you crash lower than you were before.
Happy birthday!
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Wander
|
|
#17
Apr 25, 2015, 05:28 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
Be careful though hun, too much AD will have a bipolaree crawling off the walls! Have fun and be safe! xoxo |
|
#18
Apr 25, 2015, 10:28 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
|
#19
Apr 25, 2015, 10:32 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am really happy that you are having a great birthday
 Just stay aware of how your feeling, just a quick self check and go about your daily life Stay safe
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Wander
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
