Decision making

Does anyone else have a difficult time making decisions big or small due to their mood swings particularly if you have persistent mania? My meds keep my mania mostly in check but I still have almost constant desires and impulses that do not match up with my current life at all. In the past when I was not medicated I've uprooted my life time after time to chase manic dreams. These fantasies and desires to travel etc are still so present in my life that I cannot tell what it is that I truly want. I know I cannot uproot my life again but at the same time these impulses and thoughts will not go away.

How do you deal with decision-making in the face of manic impulses?

I am learning to check with other people to see if my decisions are sensible.

I use the "Jordan" method

I want to XYZ.... "How will that affect Jordan?" if the answer is anything short of positively, I decide against it, regardless.

My child will not pay for anymore of my mistakes, that is something I would stake my puny paycheck on.

If for whatever reason, a decision will not affect Jordan (which is super super rare), well then like Woolly Bugger, I check in with people I trust to be my sounding boards.

I've always had trouble with what you describe. I wanted out of almost everything - my job, my life, my location. I want to move somewhere quiet and do something I like that supports my family.

I am famous for self-destructing, especially when it came to jobs. But I accept now that those were decisions that I made.

I also have trouble with snap decisions. IMO, the best way to deal with my mania (now) is to get ahead of it and not let it eat me up. I meditate, take my medication (Depkote), try to be mindful and not rant on and on, eat well, sleep well, and most importantly, avoid booze because that throws *everything* out of whack. When I drink, I forget things, don't sleep well, eat too much or too little, and things like meditation and mindfulness are useless when I'm hung over or intoxicated.

IMO, it's all day to day. I am getting better at it.

Wow, can I ever relate to THAT!
This is a big problem for me. Always has been. Part of it is being bad at prioritizing. If I manage to prioritize, my follow-through sucks. It is frustratingly often that I want things that are in conflict with each other, or even mutually exclusive. Talk about a paralyzing loop!

I know black and white thinking is talked about a lot. My bigger problem is excessive gray thinking. I can see and understand from myriad views. While this is great for diplomacy, it sucks for decision-making! (Especially when they're swirling around and around on a loop. That I can't prioritize. Argh!)

Making a pro and con list. Sigh. They will either come out basically balancing each other out, or given factors will feel like apples and oranges, or I simply don't know in what sense to consider something. Everything's in flux and interconnecting. And I can't catch them enough to even be able to explain.

What makes me queen of waffling though? "IT DEPENDS". Among other things, it makes forms a NIGHTMARE.

Throw consideration of mood swings into this? Totally incapacitating.

Sorry to not really have advice, but having this problem to the nth degree, can assure you that I totally get it and that you are not alone.

I think just putting some hurdles between me and totally going off Willynilly has been very important.. I am also older and well ....pain.... has a way of slowing down my thoughts of packing a bag and running off to join the Circus, Literally.

I have a good support system around me... I do tend to bounce thoughts off people in my life and that can help me stay away from a lot of terrible decisions or lack of a decision.

When I really don't know what way to jump or turn ,,I just stand still and breathe.

At times I am the most indecisive person on earth, I just don't know what I want so I try to weigh whether something is good or bad for me.
When I'm 'flying' ~ I tend to dismiss all disapproving comments from people, perceiving them to be passive, boring or not on the same frequency as I am so they can't possibly relate to my ideas

That being said though, I haven't done stuff like buying a last minute ticket to India leaving everything I have behind in a minute-to-minute decision

I can totally feel the frustration arises.

My wife views all the mail, pays all the bills, makes any money choices for the most part, and just about any other thing I may screw up.

.

amen..

I am sorry to hear that you are having a hard time with decision making lunaticfringe.

Here's a blog on psychcentral that I found for you = it may be useful for you?

Do You Have Difficulty Making Decisions? | World of Psychology

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I think my biggest problem is discerning my intuition from my emotional impulses. Whatever I am feeling, they are STRONG and every day is an exhausting fight to stay grounded. Like Innerzone said, I also have trouble with "grey matter". I am a very open person and want to consider all view points and options. I am a big believer in fate, destiny, life purpose. I wonder at times if my intense feelings are trying to lead me to my destiny and what if I'm missing it by ignoring them? Is that crazy? Before I was medicated I did some amazing things because I followed my feelings/impulses. Maybe I'm not meant to stay in one place. The urge to travel is STRONG. Probably due to my illness I am a vaguely spiritual person and I believe there is a higher meaning in these feelings, whereas a doctor and my diagnosis would say they're a reason to medicate me even more. I hate taking my medication! I wish we lived in a different kind of society where I could just be a free spirit and do as I feel. Is that so wrong? I guess if it is affecting others negatively then yes but I also think that we cannot control how others react, we just have to live our lives.

My internal compass is out of whack! I have never known anything other than living according to my feelings minute to minute and day to day.

Well I'm just rambling at this point but it helps to have an outlet.

Hi lunaticfringe, thanks for sharing. I feel the same way.... ALL THE TIME!!! I wonder where the line is drawn between a "crazy" or "manic" thought and a "normal thought". I understand that it is not normal for people to move to various locations, travel to exotic places, changes careers or hobbies so many times during one life but who decides what is normal or best? Overall I have found both upsides and downsides to my "manic adventures"; some people think that I should be on meds to control these urges but a part of me doesn't want to lose these "manic adventures", in some ways they make life exciting and worth living..... just a thought.

This has always been a big problem for me as well.
Always had big dreams that seemed attainable to me but
really never where due to finances or the bipolar or commitments or whatever.
Bad decisions have ruled my life. At the age of 50-51 is when it all finally
came crashing down around me. The only good part is my children where already
young adults so it didn't damage their lives to much. (I hope)
Now I have to take life one day at a time and I find I still can make pretty bad decisions
if I don't have a little help. Luckily for me I now have a very understanding girlfriend
who tries very hard to help with any issues. One day at a time now is the only way.

Do you mean like walking away from your family to be with a woman (who doesn't currently exist). I think about it all the time and if there was a woman with mutual affection, I'm afraid I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Or? Driving off to Florida when you live in KY because of your amazing connection to the ocean. I also have never done this but the temptation is always there. One day, if I am by myself, it will happen. I will be at the ocean taking a swim in powerful waves, struggling, in my clothes in high danger. I will stay in until I can't stand it anymore and then I will raise my arms to the air and I will worship to whatever song comes to my mind and it will be BEAUTIFuL!

I have experienced the ocean in this exact way, in the evening , I have just never driven there alone.

Yes cashart these are the types of things I'm dealing with. To me they seem so important that at times I consider leaving my whole life, my home and my fiance and our cat, our garden. I consider selling my car to buy a plane ticket...things like that. It is so painful to have such strong desires and not be able to fulfill them. So I'm in bed.

Try to consider how it will affect those who love you and indeed depend on you. And where will this desition take you. If you make x desition, will it take you in the direction you need to go?
Are you willing to hurt the ones you love?
Is it responsible?
Are the consequences of it most likely to cause others to be hurt, will they be able to forgive you? Sometimes in life one can not avoid hurting others. But it always comes with a high price.
Are you willing to pay the price?
Or let someone else pay the price, emotionally that is.
Just keep in mind that you are part of something bigger than yourself. A family, a group, a society. How important is individual gratification, and how much should we give up for others?
I find that when I put a little focus on that, it makes it easier to make up my mind. But of course it depends on the magnitude of what ones wishes are. Taking a weekend-trip by yourself is wastly different from selling your house and move to Hawaii, for instance
The older I get, the more do I realize how imporant it is to bring others into my thought-process.
Others can have very sound advice, and help me see the consequences of my actions.

For me the problem has always been that I don`t think clearly about consequences. Am I willing to pay the price for my actions? Was it worth it?

Following your dreams when you are hypomanic may be exciting, but what happens when you come down to your baseline, or even get depressed, and you realize what you have done? Will you be able to undo the changes you have made? Mania may feel good, but it is not a normal state. Don't trust it.

My problem is not that I have trouble making decisions, it is that I make them too easily, too impulsively, and then change my mind back and oh, wait! let's make another impulsive one

I am currently 'homeless' by choice because of one of my brilliant ideas that made absolute perfect sense in the moment and I reacted on it and now I totally regret it because it was dumb and now I am stuck and..........hear the hypo mind going full throttle.....

Unfortunately, I am the one in "control" of all decisions and when someone tries to question my brilliant ideas, I completely blow them off....or think they are not being supportive......(sigh)

And, if I'm not in hypo throttle making bad decisions and choices; then I am in a severe state of depression and couldn't decide on something if my life depended on it...gotta love the life, right?

Anyway, here's hoping we both find some insight from your post ...and learn to use it.