[CopperStar]

I finally made it after all these years with no insurance and no medication, just got my Zyprexa prescription and am officially starting my journey to sanity tonight before bed. I want to document how it goes daily for anyone in the future who might find it useful, and also for my own sake, so I can look back and see how things have been going.

Prominent Symptoms
- Insomnia
- Severe Agitation
- Poor Self-Care
- Paranoid Delusions
- Mild Hallucinations
- Unstable Emotions
- Suicidal/Homicidal Ideation
- Self-Isolation
- Anxiety

Most Common Mood Episodes: Dysphoric Mania, Irritable Depression (Mixed States Galore)

Starting Dosage: 5mg Zyprexa (generic)

Will try to update daily on how this goes.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Zyprexa helps my irritability, insomnia, paranoia and mood so I hope it works well for you!!!!

[Secretum]

Zyprexa was great for my moods, especially depression and mixed states. Didn't really work for my psychotic symptoms, which was weird...

I had to go off of it, even though I loved it, because I gained 40 lbs and developed pre-diabetes, so be careful. I was on 11 mg at the end, but 30 of the 40 lbs were gained on only 3 mg.

[HALLIEBETH87]

yeah..its a weight gainer. I gained 12 lbs since February...but Ive lost 5 of them so far. Im on 10mg.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Secretum

Zyprexa was great for my moods, especially depression and mixed states. Didn't really work for my psychotic symptoms, which was weird...

I had to go off of it, even though I loved it, because I gained 40 lbs and developed pre-diabetes, so be careful. I was on 11 mg at the end, but 30 of the 40 lbs were gained on only 3 mg.

That's exactly what I gained from Zyprexa in high school. I have no idea how much I was taking though. The weight basically fell off of me when I stopped taking it also. I will never take it again. That said, I will more than likely be starting Clozaril which is a stronger anti-psychotic but the weight gain is the same or worse. I am just praying I don't have that side effect because I've already gained enough on lithium.

[Secretum]

Originally Posted by cashart10

That's exactly what I gained from Zyprexa in high school. I have no idea how much I was taking though. The weight basically fell off of me when I stopped taking it also. I will never take it again. That said, I will more than likely be starting Clozaril which is a stronger anti-psychotic but the weight gain is the same or worse. I am just praying I don't have that side effect because I've already gained enough on lithium.

My extra weight never melted off.

[~Christina]

Made me wanna eat my sofa

[CopperStar]

Regarding Weight Gain:

Pdoc weighed me and we're going to monitor it. I am personally alright with gaining 10-15 lbs, and I've already switched back to stricter Atkins eating to combat the changes in glucose/insulin processing, to try to ward off diabetes.

The plan is we will see how this goes, because she had seen special exceptions when it comes to Zyprexa and weight gain, one client she described as a 'beanpole' despite taking the medication. And, I also don't mind some weight gain.

However, if the weight gain is rapid and substantial despite my lifestyle efforts, then we have to discuss trying something else. Will see!

[sorand0m]

Ah, Zyprexa. Great for when you need to get down RIGHT NOW.

Not so great: Watch out on the weight and for me at least, I did nothing but eat or sleep on it. Really knocks it out of you.

[Secretum]

Originally Posted by sorand0m

Ah, Zyprexa. Great for when you need to get down RIGHT NOW.

Not so great: Watch out on the weight and for me at least, I did nothing but eat or sleep on it. Really knocks it out of you.

Yeah, I forgot about the sedation...I couldn't get up for school or work! I ended up taking caffeine pills an hour before I had to get up, and then going back to bed...I took these drastic measures after sleeping through an exam!

But zyprexa was perfect for the depression.

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by sorand0m

Ah, Zyprexa. Great for when you need to get down RIGHT NOW.

Not so great: Watch out on the weight and for me at least, I did nothing but eat or sleep on it. Really knocks it out of you.

Mmm yes so far feels nice, took my first dosage about 30+ minutes ago. Not sure if that's too soon for results and I'm just getting a placebo effect LOL. But so far so good. Will update tomorrow evening on how the day felt and how sleep was. Gonna break from the forums for tonight in case I have some paradoxical goofball effect and start ****posting. Better off on youtube for that.

[Victoria'smom]

I really liked zyprexa but I couldn't deal with the weight gain.

[BipolaRNurse]

Zyprexa is the glue that holds me together. My relatively small dose both helps me sleep and keeps my feces coagulated, so to speak. I wish I could do without it, because I already have diabetes and am obese, but it cemented its place in my treatment regimen a long time ago and I seriously doubt I'll ever come off it completely. I wish you well with your trial of "Vitamin Z".

[Toodles333]

I was on 5mg at bedtime but I just got upped to 10mg. It's knocked me out the past 2 nights. Slept for around 10 hours both nights. Hope it sorts your sleep issues.

[CopperStar]

DAY 01

Updating a bit early since I'm in the mood for it at the moment.

Well oddly enough the Zyprexa didn't really knock me out. I took it at 8:00PM and didn't fall asleep until almost midnight. It did make me a bit drowsy but that was it. The only side effect I got was dry mouth which lasted for a couple hours and was still happening when I passed out for the night. It was annoying but not terrible. However once I was zonked out, I was zonked out pretty good, slept about 9 hours and can only remember vague snippets of my dreams. So that's good.

Today I feel really calm, a little lethargic but not terrible. I'm not getting any agitation or anxiety. It's a huge relief, really, and has me feeling almost positive. I'm a little quieter inside but my ability to think and my creativity are still there, everything is just a teeny bit slowed down, kinda drifting along. I'm feeling a bit bored which is odd for me, and find myself thinking about things that I want, which I haven't thought about in some time. I'd like a gaming rig again, I'd like a pug, I'd like to get back into my art.

So far the dieting is easy. I don't have an appetite today or any cravings yet. I had a small piece of chicken breast with some diet pepsi, and then later on some coffee with a bit of creamer in it. I feel satisfied.

I give Zyprexa a B+ for day one, hehe. A little more energy would be nice, but I need to give it a few weeks yet.

[HALLIEBETH87]

My 10 mg knocks me out too!

[CopperStar]

DAY 02

Swung super low last night, almost hysterical-type crying, sometimes crying and laughing at the same time. It felt like my little disassociation shield shattered and I suddenly became exceptionally aware of how ridiculous and sh**** most of my life has been, and how utterly empty it is now. My rage towards my mother twisted into some sort of sorrowful disgust. I can hardly come up with any words to say to her when she tries to talk to me. I feel rather ghostly, and my suicidal ideation went through the roof. Had insomnia last night, as well, but eventually fell asleep and got about 5 hours.

So it seems 5mg might not cut it, but I'm giving it the full 4 weeks to adjust. I didn't get the dry mouth issues again, and I still have no appetite at all, which seems weird for Zyprexa. Might be a depression symptom I don't normally get, or something.

Soooo to keep this honest and informative, the evening of day 1 and the morning of day 2 have not gone very well. No physical side effects, but I think it might be having too much of a 'downer' effect. Or it could be that it hasn't had enough time to build up in my system yet, it's only the second day. Meh.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Give it a bit. I noticed as difference in a couple weeks at that dose.

[CopperStar]

DAYS 03 & 04

Was rather busy on the 4th of July. Overall things went smoothly, no physical side effects, slept like a log for about 9 hours the night of Day 03. Not even the dry mouth has returned. I also noticed that emotions are becoming increasingly blunted, still chaotic, but definitely more blunted. I know some people do not like that, which is completely understandable, but to me it has been feeling like a huge relief. Day 04 (today) has gone pretty much the same.

Notably:

My agitation is completely gone, insomnia is gone, homicidal ideation is gone, paranoid delusion issues seem to be almost completely gone.

The only major concern I'm having currently is that it seems the 5mg starts to wear off within little more than an hour to the 24 hours mark, and the hallucinations portion of my symptoms seem to return not only immediately but also more severe (just a smidge, but definitely noticeable) than what I have been used to over the past several months.

For example on the drive home this evening, around 7:30-8:00PM (dosage last night was taken a bit past 9:00PM) I started to see a votex-thing in the sky that was sucking dark, shiny clouds into it. Now that alone didn't shock me much, but the issue was that even once I 'confronted' it, the hallucination remained. Luckily I was a passenger in the vehicle, because I couldn't help but just stare at it, it was mesmerizing. When I got out of the vehicle just less than half an hour ago, I noticed that nothing looked real, the trees all looked fake, like a really detailed painting, and I felt some blunted anxiety going on. Immediately got into the house and took my dosage. I am still feeling and perceiving oddly. The text on my screen I am typing right now seems to get smaller and smaller periodically, everything still 'feels' unreal. But I am completely lucid in the sense that I know this happening, so to speak.

Now just sort of bunkered down and waiting for the 5mg to hopefully kick in soon and make this weirdness stop. Hoping this will pass soon as I have no physical side effects so far and would really like Zyprexa to work for that reason.

[CopperStar]

DAY 05

I didn't experience any hallucinations that I am aware of today. Feeling mostly blunted, which I still find to be a relief. Still have intense suicidal ideation. I can't even tell if I'm not eating because I have no appetite due to depression, not eating because I have no appetite as an initial side effect of the medication, or not eating because I keep fantasizing about starving to death. However other than that, I have no physical side effects still. The drymouth never returned after that first night, so far.

And oddly enough, my brain seems to be even more creative than usual, though very 'quiet' emotionally. I'm still getting intrusive thoughts, but they don't feel "intrusive" in a sense because they're not disturbing like the homicidal ideation or anxiety-inducing intrusive thoughts. Outside of the suicidal ideation, I just keep getting a lot of very beautiful imagery, scenes, etc, and my brain also keeps playing music, to the point that it's like I can almost literally hear it in my head without having to try.

I also still feel a bit lethargic, though. I find it comfortable to just sit around with these beautiful images and songs, than to actually try to make any art with it. This keeps getting flip-flopped with fantasies of starving to death.

Look what Zyprexa did for this dude in Denmark... are you starting to lose your beard?

[CopperStar]

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Look what Zyprexa did for this dude in Denmark... are you starting to lose your beard?

[elevatedsoul]

interesting thread, keep it up

im only on seroquel and zyprexa right now but i can say that my emotions and feelings are hugely blunted

i still have intrusive thoughts, ocd, anxiety symptoms although these meds have helped considerably im just tired of taking them and want to try something new

i dont have voices or hallucinations btw so i cant contribute any help on that, i hope the zyprexa quiets your hallucinations

zyprexa did make me gain 40-50lbs
after the first month or so it gave me an insatiable appetite, i would eat everything in sight.
but after a year or so how ever long i've been on zyprexa i've actually lost a few lbs... 5-10lbs

so hopefully you will not gain too much and hopefully it will start working really well for you soon

it sucks playing the waiting game waiting for the medicine to kick in

[CopperStar]

DAY 09

Skipped some days of updating (but not of med) because my mind was getting pretty ugly up in there. Agitation started coming back, insomnia started coming back, suicidal and homicidal ideation started coming back, racing thoughts, etc.

However tried 10mg instead of 5mg and there was a major difference. Finally slept like a rock and feel very calm now. I can enjoy just 'being' which is such a rare and lovely feeling. Currently stretched out in front of the morning sun, checking emails and eating some ground beef with a pickle for a breakfast (gotta do low-carb so I don't get diabetes on this med). And I'm just comfy and relaxed, but not hungover-feeling.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Great!!!! The 10mg helps me sleep like a rock too!