I suck at relationships. I have only had dysfunctional relationships. Several long term, several short term.

I haven't dated in several years. I haven't had a boyfriend for 6 yrs.

I want to date, because I am lonely. I don't want to date, because it feels like it is too much effort.

I have a hard time keeping even emotionally, and I am afraid to have a relationship because I am worried about my stability.

Can anyone relate?

[Toodles333]

I can relate. Relationships can be a trigger for me. If I meet a girl I really like, I tend to go a little manic, which is never pretty, and rejection has sent me into a depression before. I haven't had a serious relationship in a year now.

Have you ever mistaken hypomania/mania for love?

http://www.bphope.com/is-this-love-that-im-feeling/

[Toodles333]

I have. Last March, I met a girl when I was very manic. I thought she as "the one". She fell for me pretty quickly and before we knew it, we were planning a future together. She fell pregnant a few months later just as I hit a pretty bad depressive episode. It was then I realised I wasn't in love at all. I was pretty horrified by my behaviour, which added to my depression. She lost the baby, which in a way was a blessing. We broke up shortly after. I deeply regret this, she was very much an innocent partner, she got dragged in by my manic state. I try to be more cautious but I fear the same could happen again.

[BastetsMuse]

I think it's important to get right with who you are as a person before partnering. It can be lonely, but being okay with being alone is what worked for me -- that's what made me strong enough to be able to recognize my ideal partner when I met him. Odd but true... and we're going on ten years now.

Oh I am OK with being alone. I WANT to share life with someone. I am turning 50 in a few weeks. I am going on vacation alone.

I was kind of hoping I could spend my 50th with a partner.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV

I suck at relationships. I have only had dysfunctional relationships. Several long term, several short term.

I haven't dated in several years. I haven't had a boyfriend for 6 yrs.

I want to date, because I am lonely. I don't want to date, because it feels like it is too much effort.

I have a hard time keeping even emotionally, and I am afraid to have a relationship because I am worried about my stability.

Can anyone relate?

I have these exact feelings. Most of them were because I wasn't stable and wasn't on any type of medication or aware I was really bipolar. I've been stable for a while, but still don't trust myself to be in a relationship. But days like today where it's miserable outside, it would be nice to curl up on the couch with someone.

[boogiesmash]

I haven't had a girlfriend in almost 3 years, since my rock bottom episode. I feel that I can't be a good boyfriend till I can be financially stable, mentally healthy and can live again.

[boogiesmash]

However I strive for being in a relationship.

[Victoria'smom]

If my current relationship breaks I won't look for another.

[LadyShadow]

Being alone is very important. When we find ourselves first then we are able to look for a partner. It took me 5 years of being single and dating here and there to find the right partner. So 6 years is totally understandable.

My relationships have sucked too. And I got fully manic in these situations too, like some of the other posters have mentioned so being bipolar its best to figure out how to control ourselves. Its almost impossible I know because we get so manic and emotional that's why its best to spend some quality time alone.

With all that said, the right guy will come along at the time he is supposed to. It sounds cliché and a bit corny but it really is true. Good luck on your journey, I wish you nothing but the best.

Sent from my VK700 using Tapatalk

Thank you all. I just want to say it sucks that we all have bipolar and relationships are so hard. I think most of us have a lot to give and we obviously have the emotions to express it.

At least when we aren't depressed.

[GemmaTeller]

I haven't dated since I was formally diagnosed with BPII several years ago. I guess I haven't felt like I have been in a good place physically or mentally. I would love to have a partner in life.

It would be nice. I know I can be a good friend, although a moody one. I think I can be a good partner.

[scatterbrained04]

The last several years I've felt that I don't have the energy to maintain a relationship. And mostly I feel I don't deserve one, and that a partner wouldn't deserve all the crap that comes with being with me.

I can totally relate to all this. Feels good to know I'm not alone. Also coming up to 50, but more resigned now than when I was younger. I just wouldn't want to inflict myself on anyone. However much therapy I have, I don't think that will change. I'm not good at living alone so when my mum dies......

[boogiesmash]

I want a girlfriend.

Hi Valentina, I'm 49 and single too. I miss the start of relationships when it is so euphoric but i don't miss the rest, when you get bored with the person and everything they say is an irritant. I'm lonely too but since i gained weight the only kind of guys who will look at me are real unappealing.

The other day a man sat down beside me at a mall. He was the appropriate age and i knew he was going to say something to me. There was escalator repair work going on near us and he said, "Boy, can you ever smell the grease." Wha? THAT'S HIS LINE? 'It stinks.' Wow, what a charmless lout. I moved away.

[marct]

If any one of us wants to escape the deep loneliness that comes with bipolar and living alone we need to buck up and try dating till it works. The more failures that we have are only steps closer to success. The greatest people in the world did not get to be so great without failing and failing and failing. Success comes from picking your self up after failure and trying and trying and trying till it works. All failures are is lessons that will teach us how to do better the next time.

[CopperStar]

My last LTR taught me that I'd much rather be single than be with the wrong person. Since then I haven't minded singlehood so much.

I think having BP means that the only way a relationship can really work out for me is if the person is in love with who I am at my core. Most dating sites and such focus on common interests and lifestyle, and for me, those things tend to change a lot. It seems like many people get connected on surface layer things, and my surface layers are ever changing. So I can't exactly forge a lasting relationship based on shared hobbies and such.

So what I figure is that if I'm meant to have a lover some day, then some day I will naturally grow a strong friendship with someone, and it will organically blossom from there.

But the mad flurry of "dating" based on your favorite band and political leaning is just not for me.

I have been told by more than a few that i am picky. Like I have no right to be at my age. Whatever. You either feel chemistry or you don't.

I have the lust part down, now I am looking for the love part.

[tipper1492]

If you and another think about getting married, you need to take your time, be very careful, and probably have a psychologist, or equal, for you both to talk with. No matter if one is bipolar, or you both. Google search shows bipolar marriage divorce is 90%. Such marriages muse be very complicated.

I have had few relationships but they were over years. It is much easier being single but I am truely starting to appreciate the love. Been with current partner 5 years

[cmorales]

I am perpetually single. My social skills are very poor and I am crap at reading people. Looking back at my life, every single time I had an opportunity to start a relationship, I screwed it up. But then, I am in no place in my life to be in a relationship, I guess. I really should get my life together first before seeking companionship. But sometimes I feel seeking out a relationship of sorts could help me get my life together. I don't know. As much as I long for more intimate human companionship, I've just become used to being single and alone. Sad, but true.

[Azvixxen]

I'm a relationship monster. Even being married - I love being in love, falling in love, new relationships, the feeling of someone falling for me, and then I realize it's just part of my mania. So I try to make my bad marriage work thinking that maybe it isn't really bad, it's me that's bad and fearing being alone. Yeah - I'm broken!