Mood instability??

It's not like I can't feel happiness. I can. I just can't maintain it? I slip straight back down the slippery slope to thinking why do I even bother. I don't know if this is depression or a part of bipolar mood instability or if there's something else going on. I just want to be happy go lucky again. I can't seem to tolerate any amount of stress or pressure or I crumble. It makes me want to spend my days in bed. Sorry for being so bleak recently.

Sorry you are going through this. I know how difficult it is to keep swinging around. It might be the bipolar trying to stabilise or something else. I have PTSD and that can make my moods swing badly at times. It helps to try to stay grounded with mindfulnes, meditation or grounding techniques. Do you have a therapist? they can help with things like that. Also your meds might need tweeking, if you are on any.

Hello Wanderlust90: I have to admit that I am tempted to say: "That's life!" At least it has been for me. I think that happiness is kind-of an elusive state that we all want to maintain permanently, but seldom can. Of course, struggling with depression & Bipolar certainly doesn't help. The difficulty you describe is, I believe, certainly a part of both of those conditions. Some medications even contribute to it. For me, the antidote is to strive to live in the present moment. In the present moment there is only the present moment. It is where I try to live. I wish you well...

I know that most of the issues I raise are experienced by most people but I seem to continue to have existential crises in response to them, like I can't get suicide out of my head, I go from pretty good to nhilistic in hours. I never used to be like this, all started happening 2 years ago but more recently has been fairly bad. Like you said I need to focus on living in the moment which I'm struggling to do. I see a therapist but have so far not been working on specific issues as my moods have been fluctuating so much we've really just been working with pdoc to get the right medications first.

Hi Wanderlust90: Living in the moment is a skill that must be developed. It can take a long time. It has been said that enlightenment is a journey, not a destination. In this regard, I love the writings of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. My main regret is that that it took me 65+ years to begin to figure out what it was all about.

I am familiar with suicidal ideation. I experience it daily... sometimes hourly. And I have been to that dark place, more than once. I'm glad to read that you are seeing a therapist, as well as a pdoc. I hope they will prove beneficial to you.

I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find that center of deep peace that resides in each of us...

I can totally understand how moods affect the attitude and how we perceive life in general.
Now that I'm bit elevated I'd say stuff about the present moment, I'd say that happiness isn't about whether u feel high or low cuz it's ever changing, happiness is the ability to live in peace with whatever u feel and sense.

I like watching Sadhguru's youtube videos on various subjects like this.

You know, I (like we all) deal with different levels of moods. I can be just under baseline like slightly depressed and have a moment of happiness, but as soon as the happiness is over, I fall back under to the depressed mood.

This can explain what you are feeling?

I, too, suffer from mood swings. I've been fighting them for over 30 years. I've had a few good years thanks to med combos but they don't last very long. Staying under the care of a psychiatrist and therapist have kept me fairly stable but even then I have spells of suicidal thinking.

As suggested by others living in the moment helps.

I hope that your doctor finds a med combo that works for you soon.

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Yeh that's pretty much how it goes. I have a reactive mood, it's not like I'm always low but positive emotions are mostly fleeting. Unless I'm hypomanic then I go between yay & agitated, mainly agitated. Sometimes my mood is altered by events, sometimes just of its own accord.

No need to apologize for how you are feeling! I had a recent rather long period of stability but it failed in comparison to the near 8 year stability I had in my early to mid 20's. And when my mood changes for the better or worse, it is so dramatic. My illness is out of control and it seems meds cannot contain it. I hate it so much.

Anyway, I just want you to know that on many levels, I can relate and I wish you the best. I wish I could give you some joy!