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#1
Nov 19, 2015, 07:44 PM
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It's not like I can't feel happiness. I can. I just can't maintain it? I slip straight back down the slippery slope to thinking why do I even bother. I don't know if this is depression or a part of bipolar mood instability or if there's something else going on. I just want to be happy go lucky again. I can't seem to tolerate any amount of stress or pressure or I crumble. It makes me want to spend my days in bed. Sorry for being so bleak recently.
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Dx: Bipolar II, GAD, past substance abuse, temporal lobe epilepsy. Rx: Lamotrigine 125mg, Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg prn. |
 Anonymous45023, Anonymous48690, BeyondtheRainbow, BipolaRNurse, HALLIEBETH87, Pastel Kitten, raspberrytorte, Skeezyks, Unrigged64072835, Wander
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#2
Nov 19, 2015, 08:50 PM
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Sorry you are going through this. I know how difficult it is to keep swinging around. It might be the bipolar trying to stabilise or something else. I have PTSD and that can make my moods swing badly at times. It helps to try to stay grounded with mindfulnes, meditation or grounding techniques. Do you have a therapist? they can help with things like that. Also your meds might need tweeking, if you are on any.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
 Wanderlust90
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#3
Nov 19, 2015, 08:55 PM
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Hello Wanderlust90: I have to admit that I am tempted to say: "That's life!" At least it has been for me. I think that happiness is kind-of an elusive state that we all want to maintain permanently, but seldom can. Of course, struggling with depression & Bipolar certainly doesn't help. The difficulty you describe is, I believe, certainly a part of both of those conditions. Some medications even contribute to it. For me, the antidote is to strive to live in the present moment. In the present moment there is only the present moment. It is where I try to live. I wish you well...
 
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| bbTofu, Wanderlust90
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#4
Nov 20, 2015, 03:27 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Dx: Bipolar II, GAD, past substance abuse, temporal lobe epilepsy. Rx: Lamotrigine 125mg, Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg prn. |
| Skeezyks
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#5
Nov 20, 2015, 03:42 PM
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Hi Wanderlust90: Living in the moment is a skill that must be developed. It can take a long time. It has been said that enlightenment is a journey, not a destination. In this regard, I love the writings of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. My main regret is that that it took me 65+ years to begin to figure out what it was all about.
I am familiar with suicidal ideation. I experience it daily... sometimes hourly. And I have been to that dark place, more than once. I'm glad to read that you are seeing a therapist, as well as a pdoc. I hope they will prove beneficial to you. I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find that center of deep peace that resides in each of us...
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| Wanderlust90
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#6
Nov 20, 2015, 04:18 PM
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I can totally understand how moods affect the attitude and how we perceive life in general.
Now that I'm bit elevated I'd say stuff about the present moment, I'd say that happiness isn't about whether u feel high or low cuz it's ever changing, happiness is the ability to live in peace with whatever u feel and sense. I like watching Sadhguru's youtube videos on various subjects like this.
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Bipolar II ENFP - |
| Wanderlust90
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#7
Nov 20, 2015, 04:50 PM
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You know, I (like we all) deal with different levels of moods. I can be just under baseline like slightly depressed and have a moment of happiness, but as soon as the happiness is over, I fall back under to the depressed mood.
This can explain what you are feeling? |
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#8
Nov 20, 2015, 05:49 PM
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I, too, suffer from mood swings. I've been fighting them for over 30 years. I've had a few good years thanks to med combos but they don't last very long. Staying under the care of a psychiatrist and therapist have kept me fairly stable but even then I have spells of suicidal thinking.
As suggested by others living in the moment helps. I hope that your doctor finds a med combo that works for you soon. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
| Wanderlust90
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#9
Nov 20, 2015, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Dx: Bipolar II, GAD, past substance abuse, temporal lobe epilepsy. Rx: Lamotrigine 125mg, Sertraline 50mg, Clonazepam 0.5mg prn. |
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#10
Nov 21, 2015, 10:39 PM
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Quote:
Anyway, I just want you to know that on many levels, I can relate and I wish you the best. I wish I could give you some joy! 
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Wanderlust90
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