[LadyShadow]

I am feeling pretty good despite having very little balance. I wish **** would just come together and make sense ya know? I am tired of being on the wrong side of everything. I have everything, a wonderful home. great family, money in the bank. But no boyfriend or anyone to love me. Maybe that's missing? I dunno.

Meds are stable, a bit of trouble sleeping but that's my usual issue.

[Icare dixit]

11 pm, 1200 mg acetylcysteine, 100 mg 5-HTP, 1600 mcg mB12 and methylfolate.

Still itching, still scratching. Going a little more mad by the day. I feel like the itching is never going away. I can't handle much more. This is agony.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Still itching, still scratching. Going a little more mad by the day. I feel like the itching is never going away. I can't handle much more. This is agony.

Hopefully it all goes away soon

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Still itching, still scratching. Going a little more mad by the day. I feel like the itching is never going away. I can't handle much more. This is agony.

Hope it goes away soon!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Still itching, still scratching. Going a little more mad by the day. I feel like the itching is never going away. I can't handle much more. This is agony.

so sorry. You sound miserable...

bizi

Sleep and dvds.

Got all the dishes done and the pots and pans. Was a pretty good day. Watching girl, interrupted right now....

[Icare dixit]

Didn't sleep but I feel very, very good. As in, thinking being not too slow and not too fast and a steady pace. I mean, like a nice, relaxing walk. Like you can walk back and forth in your memory, like walking, just casually, back to thoughts you had just a moment ago and then just casually walking back to the front of your train of thought.

How amazing is that!?

So how many bouts or maybe longer periods of depression or mania did I have? Mind: I was in a mixed state not long ago and didn't really fully evened out.

0.

I spend the morning experiencing what must be the most beautiful of things: a city slowly coming to life. What's more beautiful than that?

Ok, maybe nature. I've heard it's very green and beautiful. But cities are a bit like nature, I guess.

If these supplements keep working I'll only need a therapist.

[Icare dixit]

But I can't help wondering: what is it all for?

You see a lot of people doing useful things for people that mostly to useless things, when they finally get to the office.

People in the bus all calling the office, because the bus is stuck in traffic (as usual).

If they did anything useful at the office you'd expect them to sound alarmed, anxious. But it's nothing like that.

They just sit there, relaxed, reading a newspaper someone gave them at the station or something. Or looking at their smartphones.

So many people. Day in, day out.

That's insane.

So I felt pretty sane today.

[Icare dixit]

And it's depressing. Not so much because of what I write, but because what I write is true. And I don't have to write it for it to be depressing.

It's us that go insane because it is insane. Because we feel it. Things don't have to be useful, as long as most think it's useful and don't feel. That's not delusional.

Those whose feelings, their intuition, guide their thinking, feel how what most think is wrong, and might think others either know that or want to know that. That's delusional.

It's depressing.

Do I make any sense?

[Prism Bunny]

I slept for too long, but I called my Pdoc to set an appointment so he can help me. I have not seen him a few months so it will be interesting to see him in person again.

[Icare dixit]

It's why most that work with SZ have blue-collar/low-paid jobs and most with BP are manic or depressed.

Edit:
Ok, I start a separate thread.

[Icare dixit]

I really should take my supplements twice a day I think. It's starting to border on mania.

[hopeless2015]

Slow moving today but I'm moving, the long weekend threw me out of my routine a bit but I got myself back on track. Trying really hard to stick to routines

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[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

And it's depressing. Not so much because of what I write, but because what I write is true. And I don't have to write it for it to be depressing.

It's us that go insane because it is insane. Because we feel it. Things don't have to be useful, as long as most think it's useful and don't feel. That's not delusional.

Those whose feelings, their intuition, guide their thinking, feel how what most think is wrong, and might think others either know that or want to know that. That's delusional.

It's depressing.

Do I make any sense?

Yes, total sense.

In French we would call it jemais vu, meaning something is familiar, but unfamiliar, acknowledged, but unacknowledged.

[Icare dixit]

11 pm-ish, 1600 mcg mB12 and methylfolate, 1200 mg acetylcysteine, 100 mg 5-HTP.

Mood stabiliser, no antipsychotic (day 2).

No actual delusions or hallucinations despite sleepless night. Maybe somewhat bordering on mania. I was tired but not anymore.

Still itching, still not taking my medications, nor will I until the itching goes away. Still not sure how this will go. Still taking the prednisone, it's not causing mania that I can tell but it's also not curing the itching fast enough. Hope I don't end up in the ER again. Feeling sick but avoiding vomiting. Medications make me sleepy and I'm sleeping a lot. Which is a good get away from itching. I think I'm being punished by this itching. Like a plague put upon me as a test. Just random thoughts, nothing concrete or delusional. Just a feeling of being tested again.

[gina_re]

Well I just finished my last 'good' meal from Five Guys. I have wisdom tooth removal surgery tomorrow morning. They are impacted at the wrong angle, so I will have to be put under general anesthesia for this. I'll be on a liquid and mushy food diet for a few days. Ice cream every day! Hooray! But really, I am nervous to do this. I'm surprisingly calm about it today, but I know tomorrow morning I will be terrified. I jokingly told my boss today that I will purposely go to bed late tonight so that I will be too tired tomorrow to even be nervous or anxious. But now I'm thinking that actually might be a good idea and will give myself an extra hour tonight.

Good luck on the surgery tomorrow Gina. I hope it goes as smooth and pain free as possible.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by gina_re

Well I just finished my last 'good' meal from Five Guys. I have wisdom tooth removal surgery tomorrow morning. They are impacted at the wrong angle, so I will have to be put under general anesthesia for this. I'll be on a liquid and mushy food diet for a few days. Ice cream every day! Hooray! But really, I am nervous to do this. I'm surprisingly calm about it today, but I know tomorrow morning I will be terrified. I jokingly told my boss today that I will purposely go to bed late tonight so that I will be too tired tomorrow to even be nervous or anxious. But now I'm thinking that actually might be a good idea and will give myself an extra hour tonight.

Before the surgeries I've had I never sleep well, but I figure hey they'll be putting me to sleep so it doesn't matter.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Before the surgeries I've had I never sleep well, but I figure hey they'll be putting me to sleep so it doesn't matter.

I had really bad anxiety just to go to the office for the consultation!
I'm sure it will be fine, but this is my first major procedure...ever.

[hopeless2015]

Thinking of you gina_re HUGS

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Originally Posted by gina_re

Well I just finished my last 'good' meal from Five Guys. I have wisdom tooth removal surgery tomorrow morning. They are impacted at the wrong angle, so I will have to be put under general anesthesia for this. I'll be on a liquid and mushy food diet for a few days. Ice cream every day! Hooray! But really, I am nervous to do this. I'm surprisingly calm about it today, but I know tomorrow morning I will be terrified. I jokingly told my boss today that I will purposely go to bed late tonight so that I will be too tired tomorrow to even be nervous or anxious. But now I'm thinking that actually might be a good idea and will give myself an extra hour tonight.

That would be stressful. I hope it goes well.

I'm a little stressed today. My rent is going up, I'm always broke and moving just seems too stressful right now. Some other stuff too. Ugh just not that good of a day.