[Takeshi]

It's April, how are you April?

Photosynthesis cured my illness, folks, go get some sunshine!

Also there's a rumor going around that there's a hidden room called 'Manic Room', somewhere in this part of the forum. Only a few know about the codes and the secret button to enter. I'm neither here to confirm or deny that the room exists, all I can say is that I and Doc John had a secret deal, that's all I'm gonna say.

One more thing. Doc J, I just call him J, he gets depressive when he finds out that people are leaving this lovely community. Just give it a thought, please.

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“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”

― Søren Kierkegaard

[hopeless2015]

Bring on the warm weather, I need some heat!

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[pirilin]

Letargy man. Bye.

[Espurr1989]

Yesterday was good. I went to my internship and talked to some really nice kids. It was a good day. Then I had class which is an hour away. Only four people showed up because the Professor sucks at letting people know which days we have class and expects it to go around by word of mouth.

Today I am exhausted. I got up earlier, but now I came back to bed. I had really emotional dreams last night and woke up in a funk. Maybe I will try to read some of my assignments while in bed. I won't think of everything I have to do during the month of April.

[lilypup]

I am here today. I did my devotionals and meditation. I need to do a bit of sewing and get ready for T appt. After that I have nothing till tomorrow. I can get some rest.

I have a fear of driving but am going to try to drive to T appt today.

[lilypup]

Am I the only one checking in? I feel weird about that, but I'll try one more time.
Sort of a ****ty day today.
Fear of driving keeping me back from meeting tomorrow. Hate myself for that.
Got a CBT workbook but so far is not speaking to me.
Depression has lifted (thank go)...now I want to get out, but am limited with the driving anxiety. Pissed off that you fix one problem and something else breaks.

[hopeless2015]

Quite day today, I see a nap in my future

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[Nammu]

Now that the car is fixed I'm broke for the rest of the month

[scatterbrained04]

Had a migraine that knocked me on my *** today. Don't foresee anything productive getting done.

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[Wander]

Struggled through work yesterday. Felt very agitated, irritable and generally intense. Took PRN Olanzapine and Clonazepam to get through. The meds helped but I was still on the verge of drowning. Feels like a mixed episode on the horizon. Scared. Seeing my pdoc tomorrow so hopefully we can stop this before I get very unwell again.

[gayleggg]

I'm anxious today. Not sure what is causing it. It's so frustrating not knowing the answer. I have been lethargic for days and now all of a sudden I'm anxious. Being on PC helps. Gives me something to do and hopefully even help someone else feel better.

[pirilin]

Tired. Cold. Bedtime!!!.

[lilypup]

Have already written today off...just struggling. However, am not depressed. Sick of complaining to husband, so am complaining here.

Hugs to you all.

Good news! Husband got me out of the house and driving around a bit. This helped my driving anxiety a lot. I am lucky to have him.

[zijax]

Realizing that a difficult relationship in my life is a good thing because I am learning through the hurt. Up, up, up day

[Espurr1989]

I feel good today! I started out slow, like the past few days, but since I had made my bed when I got up this morning, when I went to go lay back down I saw the smooth covers and decided it would be just as easy to get dressed than it would be to get back in the bed and have to do the covers again later.

So I did that instead and walked down to the gas station and bought some chips, a Pepsi, and a Black and Mild. I brought my dog and three cats out to the yard and sat out there with them as they played and I consumed my stuff. It was a beautiful sunny day and I played some Jimi Hendrix on my phone.

This is how I like to wake up on my days at home. The world can judge me for it being unhealthy or 'lazy'. I don't care anymore. It made me happy and that's what it takes to keep me going on my responsibilities.

Now I'm going back and forth between reading my assignments for the week, playing a game on my tablet, and maybe even cleaning the house a bit. I've got Coheed playing and I'm smoking a bowl. Later I'll probably have a few glasses of wine that we got from a wedding we went to this weekend.

I'm a tiny bit worried that my happy day might be mania creeping up since its April, but I'll put that out of my head until and unless I don't sleep tonight, which I don't foresee being a problem.

[otherg]

I'm mad, i'm sad, i'm crying, i'm frustrated, i'm frightened etc...My daughter got arrested last nigh(violation of probation-what it is don't know. She had my car and I had to walk a mile and half to get it before it got towed. Her kids were with their father but he kept them home today. He works anytime between noon and midnight. I'm worried he's going to ask me to care for the younger boy who is autistic. I can't imagine taking responsibility for him right now. I pray I won't fall to pieces. As it is I care for my mom who has dementia. My son went back to work yesterday. I've committed to give him a ride to work. Don't know what I'll do for dinner--I usually have her(get or make it). Ugh--it's just too much. I haven't heard from here today. I need to cry some more.

[hopeless2015]

Forgot to fill my pill bottle with my afternoon anxiety meds...crap I can make it 2 1/2 hours to go till I get off

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spent the day catching up on tv programmes from the weekend.

pretty depressing day, but got through

[piano97]

Seeing my MD Thursday, he never pushes meds on me but is probably going to tell me again he wants to increase lamictal and add abilify. Which I've been resisting but maybe I should. I've been on hypomanic end for a few weeks, some too intense, some mild and totally ok. No depression, at all, minus one day intense and a couple mild, in the last 8 weeks. Whenever I see doctor it's kind of both a hopeful and discouraging thing. It acknowledges that I have a medical condition, which is a problem to some degree because I mostly fight that and keep thinking it's something I am not doing right and not a medical problem. Though it persists. I have not been the same since my 'break' in Nov 2014. I've lost touch reality probably 5 times since. Sometimes I think each break causes some amount of brain damage, or really alteration is what I mean, that does a certain amount of neuro-re-wiring. And then you have to learn to compensate for that.
Well, now I'm officially rambling which I've done a lot of lately. I'm doing ok functional -wise but my thoughts race a good part of the day, thus the ramble. Thanks for listening I'll stop now

[pirilin]

I got out of the house. walked six blocks. Total. There's always tomorrow.

[gina_re]

Goodness, today felt like it lasted forever!
I was exhausted this morning and caffeine did not help at all. Then my train ride home took longer than expected because of issues on the train that was ahead of us. So instead of getting home at six, we got here at about 7:30. But I still had to make a stop at the drugstore. So by the time I get home its about 8:30. I'm so exhausted.

[zijax]

After an earlier conversation here decided I'm borderline personality disorder and not bp so I'm going to come off my meds

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by zijax

After an earlier conversation here decided I'm borderline personality disorder and not bp so I'm going to come off my meds

Please talk to a pdoc, doc or pharmaceutical rep for how to stop meds. Stopping suddenly can throw a person into a crisis

[Standup2me]

I am rafting in confusing waters, fighting the tides.
My mother's mind is going, and probably does not have much cognizant time left
She was a terrible mother. I ran away at 16 for a reason
I feel no guilt, or need to express love.
In some ways...I am relieved.

[lilypup]

I have a really bad cold and cough. Whenever I get physically sick, my MI seems to flare up and I get depressed as I feel worthless. Other than that, It's a decent day.