Maybe I don't have bipolar disorder - maybe I just have a 'bipolar personality': I have experienced all the 'symptoms' of hypomania and of depression, but my problems all seem to stem from the ANXIETY that results from crashing (getting frantic, confused, overwhelmed) /or the ANXIETY that results in depression. And if the mood swings themselves aren't really the issue, then how can you call it a 'disorder' and not just a personality? In other words, if my 'bipolar' is only 'pathological' because of anxiety, then maybe it isn't really bipolar in the first place...

[SillyMom]

I'm so sorry but I'm lost. My brain is mush at 11pm

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk

[gina_re]

Do you have a diagnosis of bipolar?

[Icare dixit]

If I had no anxiety, ever, I probably wouldn't have BP.

I strongly believe that is how it is for all of us.

However, if your mood swings are really very reactive, you might just have a BP personality.

Do you ever ask "Why?!" when you suddenly become depressed or when people start questioning or believing very much, your judgement? Basically, do you ever wonder how it's got to this?

I also believe such a personality can mask a (mild) BP (completely or partially).

Do you ever sabotage your stability?

I'm not sure where you get the impression that Anxiety is not a part of Bipolar. It's a hug part.

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by thepterodactyl

Maybe I don't have bipolar disorder - maybe I just have a 'bipolar personality': I have experienced all the 'symptoms' of hypomania and of depression, but my problems all seem to stem from the ANXIETY that results from crashing (getting frantic, confused, overwhelmed) /or the ANXIETY that results in depression. And if the mood swings themselves aren't really the issue, then how can you call it a 'disorder' and not just a personality? In other words, if my 'bipolar' is only 'pathological' because of anxiety, then maybe it isn't really bipolar in the first place...

Bipolar is generally diagnosed by a psychiatrist for just this reason - because they have been trained to tell the difference between anxiety and bipolar.

Originally Posted by gina_re

Do you have a diagnosis of bipolar?

I have been diagnosed Bipolar NOS (if that counts as a diagnosis?) and recently my doctors strongly suspect bipolar 2 and treat me as if I am, but my records don't show a firm diagnosis. Over the course of about 14 years I've had about 6 psychiatrists tell me it's BP - I've been given Depakote, abilify, lithium, and limictal and never used any of them. I've gotten better, not worse, without medication and with therapy, so I'm rather suspicious....I also do believe BP is getting over-diagnosed at the moment because of all the new meds available.

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

If I had no anxiety, ever, I probably wouldn't have BP.

I strongly believe that is how it is for all of us.

However, if your mood swings are really very reactive, you might just have a BP personality.

Do you ever ask "Why?!" when you suddenly become depressed or when people start questioning or believing very much, your judgement? Basically, do you ever wonder how it's got to this?

I also believe such a personality can mask a (mild) BP (completely or partially).

Do you ever sabotage your stability?

I honestly can't tell whether my moods are reactive or not. I've been under a lot of stress for the past 5 years (phd program) - countless times I've gotten really excited over my work - thoughts racing and going all over the place, starting new projects on the side, sleeping 4 hrs a night, not eating much, etc. - and then it all goes to **** and I crash into depression. It seems possible that the crashing/depression could be due to anxiety/pressure/feeling overwhelmed. At one point it got so bad I became delusional (I saw my eyes were 'bruised' and believed my brain was leaking blood) - but panic/anxiety can do that...I just don't know

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I'm not sure where you get the impression that Anxiety is not a part of Bipolar. It's a hug part.

That's not what I meant. I can't imagine anyone having bipolar and not also having anxiety. However, there are plenty of people with anxiety disorders who don't have bipolar, and sometimes prolonged anxiety can itself trigger depression. Sometimes I wonder if I'm one of those people.

What is bipolar personality? Is this an actual thing?

Originally Posted by BastetsMuse

Bipolar is generally diagnosed by a psychiatrist for just this reason - because they have been trained to tell the difference between anxiety and bipolar.

yes, but it's not always so simple...BP 2 is especially notoriously difficult to diagnosis. I also don't necessarily take everything my doctors say at face value (that's a whole other can of worms though)

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

What is bipolar personality? Is this an actual thing?

no, that was just my way of distinguishing bipolar traits from bipolar disorder

[Icare dixit]

The symptoms you describe sound very much like BP. BP is just that: a set of symptoms.

BP NOS is as valid a diagnosis as any more specific one (arguably more valid, as symptoms can change from BP-II-like to BP-I or vice versa).

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

What is bipolar personality? Is this an actual thing?

Anything DSM-IV-A-or-B-cluster-like I'd call a psychotic disorder personality.

I'd say borderline personality disorder is closest to a BP personality, though BPD would probably be a superset or more severe form of a BP personality.

I'd also say, it's what I believe, that a BP personality makes the underlying BP less severe, possibly masking/preventing it (or the pathogenesis) completely.

But no real thing as in a separate diagnosis. Just as a derivative of BP, making things better and/or worse.

Edit:
BPD also has some SZ personality characteristics: emotional detachment, at times. It used to be called, more specifically, "borderline schizophrenia".

[Icare dixit]

If you can't tell whether your moods are reactive, they aren't in a personality-like way, most probably.

Of course everything is a reaction of sorts. Maybe except God. But it's the not knowing what caused it (not just being unable to describe the reasons, but really not seeing any direct cause) that makes BP very likely.

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

If you can't tell whether your moods are reactive, they aren't in a personality-like way, most probably.

Of course everything is a reaction of sorts. Maybe except God. But it's the not knowing what caused it (not just being unable to describe the reasons, but really not seeing any direct cause) that makes BP very likely.

that's a very good point...sometimes identifying 'triggers' starts to feel like splitting hairs. Especially because everyone - whether bipolar or not - is going to react to the world around them. Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference between a trigger (that causes a mood) and a reaction (caused by a mood).

[zepchic]

Originally Posted by thepterodactyl

Maybe I don't have bipolar disorder - maybe I just have a 'bipolar personality': I have experienced all the 'symptoms' of hypomania and of depression, but my problems all seem to stem from the ANXIETY that results from crashing (getting frantic, confused, overwhelmed) /or the ANXIETY that results in depression. And if the mood swings themselves aren't really the issue, then how can you call it a 'disorder' and not just a personality? In other words, if my 'bipolar' is only 'pathological' because of anxiety, then maybe it isn't really bipolar in the first place...

I feel like this "maybe I don't have bipolar, maybe it's just..." is a big part of being bipolar. I am often looking for another explanation or just thinking that the drs. have been wrong. I think it is just the nature of it and a reason why so many go off of meds.

[raspberrytorte]

In all honesty, I'm starting to believe that anxiety is my only situation too.

Like... I'm sort of like you too. I really can get into my projects, staying up all night, little sleep, existing in this perma high that can last for up to four months now that I think about it, and afterwards I have a crash phase.

But couldn't all of that just be a simple writer's high? Every artistic person gets that!

So, I don't know. I just wonder similar things.

[Icare dixit]

I don't understand why people feel so guilty being given "special treatment". Everyone deserves special treatment. Society should accommodate, show solidarity. It's just a way to keep us productive, no charity. Whether society does a good job at it is somewhat questionable, I'd say, but not receiving this kind of special treatment is probably worse.

Just make sure you can function. That could mean changing the environment you have to function in (preferred I'd say) and/or accepting special treatment.

Again, it's no charity. At the very least, we are quite productive participants in one of the biggest (types of) economies there is: healthcare. We make people feel valuable/valued.

Of course, if you don't need it, don't use it, but that's true for anyone "correctly" diagnosed as well as anyone else.

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

In all honesty, I'm starting to believe that anxiety is my only situation too.

Like... I'm sort of like you too. I really can get into my projects, staying up all night, little sleep, existing in this perma high that can last for up to four months now that I think about it, and afterwards I have a crash phase.

But couldn't all of that just be a simple writer's high? Every artistic person gets that!

So, I don't know. I just wonder similar things.

Thank you for sharing this! And I totally agree -- I've even had doctors ask me whether certain aspects of my 'highs' (and sometimes bizarre thought-processing) are just part of being a creative and obsessive person. I've been thinking about this a lot lately because all of a sudden - after 5 years of struggling with my project and suffering horrible ups and downs - I've written my entire dissertation in the past few months AND have been pretty near-stable the entire time...I've had none of the inspired 'frenzies' I used to have, and no crashes either - just steady, satisfying productivity. Granted, it's not as exciting, but I've actually finished something for once. It just really makes me wonder whether the mood swings were due to extreme stress (got them before I started phd program as well, but feel like I've been 'stressed' my entire life) and whether my inability to get anything done was caused by the ups and downs, or was causing them...

Sorry for the ramble, good to hear from someone who relates!

Originally Posted by zepchic

I feel like this "maybe I don't have bipolar, maybe it's just..." is a big part of being bipolar. I am often looking for another explanation or just thinking that the drs. have been wrong. I think it is just the nature of it and a reason why so many go off of meds.

I can see that for sure. Especially because, at least for me, I tend to have 'amnesia' when it comes to past so-called episodes. When I'm not depressed it's like I've never been depressed before - hard to maintain perspective sometimes.

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by thepterodactyl

I can see that for sure. Especially because, at least for me, I tend to have 'amnesia' when it comes to past so-called episodes. When I'm not depressed it's like I've never been depressed before - hard to maintain perspective sometimes.

Sounds very much like BP.

[raspberrytorte]

Originally Posted by thepterodactyl

Thank you for sharing this! And I totally agree -- I've even had doctors ask me whether certain aspects of my 'highs' (and sometimes bizarre thought-processing) are just part of being a creative and obsessive person. I've been thinking about this a lot lately because all of a sudden - after 5 years of struggling with my project and suffering horrible ups and downs - I've written my entire dissertation in the past few months AND have been pretty near-stable the entire time...I've had none of the inspired 'frenzies' I used to have, and no crashes either - just steady, satisfying productivity. Granted, it's not as exciting, but I've actually finished something for once. It just really makes me wonder whether the mood swings were due to extreme stress (got them before I started phd program as well, but feel like I've been 'stressed' my entire life) and whether my inability to get anything done was caused by the ups and downs, or was causing them...

Sorry for the ramble, good to hear from someone who relates!

The last project I worked on I didn't have the creative frenzy experience. I experienced a writer's high, but it wasn't like it was with my project before last. I was very productive, but it just wasn't the same, and I didn't crash afterwards. When I finished that novel (the non creative frenzy one) I just assumed it was one of my worst novels, but my husband actually told me it was one of my best, much better than the one prior.

So... maybe frenzies don't produce our best?

I had a psychotic break last year that resembled a manic episode (had all of the symptoms, except for spending a lot of money and doing risky behavior, but honestly I was too frenzied to have time for that nonsense!), and I think it was just extreme anxiety and stress, like to the point where I experienced psychosis.

I don't know. I think I've been misdiagnosed. I'm going to have a talk about this with my new psychiatrist next week.

I think I just have really bad anxiety.

But I'm happy there's someone else who thinks they may just have anxiety/stress problems! I've really been thinking about this for awhile!

[raspberrytorte]

Oh! I know what I wanted to add!

I've also never been depressed for no reason. For me it starts with some life changing, stressful event, that gets me down feeling, and then the down feeling snowballs, until it becomes severe depression with suicide ideation.

Same with the other side of things. It'll either start with me beginning a great new writing project, then snowballs into this huge frenzy of creativity and little sleep and perma euphoria and sometimes some mild/non threatening psychosis, except for my situation last year which I feel was triggered by extreme stress and anxiety.

So... the beginning of my mood situations are always triggered by something. They've never just come out of nowhere.

At least, that I can think of at the moment.

[st0psign]

bipolar and anxiety go together like eggs and bacon