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#26
May 03, 2016, 05:08 PM
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#27
May 03, 2016, 05:25 PM
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__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#28
May 03, 2016, 05:32 PM
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__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
 HALLIEBETH87
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 Mondayschild
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#29
May 03, 2016, 05:51 PM
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I hope you are right about things getting better. I have NO CLUE how I am going to walk through this. It makes me so, so sad.
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Anrea
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| Mondayschild
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#30
May 03, 2016, 05:53 PM
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Oh, cash, this is just awful. I don't have words of wisdom or advice, but know I am thinking about you and sending hugs.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| cashart10
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| cashart10
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#31
May 03, 2016, 06:27 PM
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| Anrea
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#32
May 03, 2016, 07:25 PM
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A four hour convo with the woman and he says she was trying to talk him into staying with you?! That's a bunch of BS I'm sorry. A lot more than that was probably discussed in that four hour period. I would be livid. I'm very sorry.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| cashart10, Mondayschild
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#33
May 03, 2016, 08:02 PM
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Trust can be rebuilt but not until the persons acknowledges what they are doing is damaging. I completely fell apart, my husband has had to deal with a half a wife for the last year. I hate myself for that. But he sees that I'm doing everything I possibly can to pull out and I have been but it has been frustratingly slow. But we have built a life together and that means that we don't throw the towel in when our pride is hurt. He loves me in spite of a bad year and knows how much pain I'm in, to simply give up at this point would be cruel. To the OP: I hope he changes his mind and decides to work this out, it sounds like you love him and have been having a hard time. #Life is a beautiful lie# |
| cashart10
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| cashart10
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#34
May 03, 2016, 08:05 PM
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__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Mondayschild
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| Mondayschild
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#35
May 03, 2016, 08:16 PM
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#Life is a beautiful lie# |
| cashart10
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#36
May 03, 2016, 08:23 PM
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I am so so sorry you are going through this. Contact me anytime
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| cashart10
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| cashart10
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#37
May 03, 2016, 08:39 PM
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I just keep thinking, if only I had known the last time we made love would be the LAST time we made love, I would have savored it, made sure I didn't forget it. Now all I can do is cry and I can't even do it on his shoulder. I am very scared because I do not work and I am not on disability, I'm just a stay at home mom. I feel like this is about the worse thing that has ever happened to me. And, I'm afraid of really losing touch again, getting hospitalized, and then losing the primary custody that we both agree I should have.
My therapist has agreed to let me come in again this week because I just don't know how to process all that is happening. I just feel so betrayed.
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Mondayschild, wildflowerchild25
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#38
May 03, 2016, 08:41 PM
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Can your mom or sister come and sit with you a while? Having someone to sit with you and maybe make you some tea might help a little.
__________________
Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
| cashart10, Mondayschild
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#39
May 03, 2016, 08:45 PM
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Not tonight. It's 9:45 and everyone has to work in the morning. I told my sister that I know this will be a long night and asked her to give me a wake up call in the morning to make sure I don't oversleep. I just can't believe how ruined my innocent little babies' lives will be; they will be rocked to the core. All over someone that I still love with the whole of my heart but who has given up on me over my bipolar. That is specifically the reason he gives.
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
| Mondayschild
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#40
May 03, 2016, 08:52 PM
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Call our local hotline and talk through this. It's what it's for
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety d/o haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin |
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#41
May 03, 2016, 09:12 PM
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As someone stated earlier, thank goodness you have a therapist right now. I cannot really imagine what you are going through. My husband and I have both said we wanted a divorce in the heat of the moment. I say it to him because I believe he deserves someone better. He says it to me because he thinks he makes the wrong decisions which go against my best interest. Leaving you just because you are bipolar is not a good answer. I hope he's able to be more honest. When you love someone, you don't leave them for a reason like that.
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#42
May 03, 2016, 09:32 PM
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My 2 cents. Hey maybe not be having a sexual affair but it definitely an emotional one.
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| Anrea
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#43
May 03, 2016, 09:36 PM
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Emotional affairs are very real and very damaging. I hope you are doing ok. Big hugs going your way.
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#44
May 03, 2016, 09:39 PM
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Have u asked him why he wants a divorce? Like what are the actual reasons?
Whatever the reasons may be YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE STAY/LOVE YOU. It's the brutal truth. I know you and him have history but before there was a you and him. There was a you. So do what's best for you and the kids. If he wants to divorce it's his lost. |
| Anrea
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#45
May 03, 2016, 09:44 PM
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I'm so very sorry cas.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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#46
May 03, 2016, 09:49 PM
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Perhaps it is some sort of religious relationship. I'm not kidding. Maybe they are praying together or something. It is easy to jump to conclusions, but the facts are not all in.
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| Anrea, Trippin2.0
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#47
May 04, 2016, 12:50 AM
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I am sorry. I don't know what you can do if HE is done.
Maybe divorce is the best solution? IDK. It sounds like a hard situation. |
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#48
May 04, 2016, 02:15 AM
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__________________
"Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can see the top." -Wildflower http://missracgel.wixsite.com/bearhugs |
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#49
May 04, 2016, 03:06 AM
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Plus while I think him saying the reason for the divorce is bipolar is a really lame one (and he should explain what about thebipolar makes him want the divorce) he's probably not likely to give any other answers for the divorce that are satisfying. My ex sure didn't.
__________________
Bipolar I Borderline Personality Disorder ADHD Generalized Anxiety Disorder "You," he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls |
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#50
May 04, 2016, 07:27 AM
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I am so sorry cash
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
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