[Nammu]

I was able to drink again today, it feels so good. More than 3 qts and I'm starting to feel like myself, tummy better, lips un chapped and most importantly my headache is gone! Mmm water!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I was able to drink again today, it feels so good. More than 3 qts and I'm starting to feel like myself, tummy better, lips un chapped and most importantly my headache is gone! Mmm water!

Glad that you are better, How did you get dehydrated?
bizi

[Nammu]

For some reason a couple days ago water started making me nauseous and I don't really drink much other than water. Plus it's 100* here.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Yay, it rained today!!!

Also they came and picked up most of the medical equipment my Grandpa used, glad the oxygen tanks are out of here, my Grandma smokes, and I was becoming really paranoid that they were going to explode at any minute if she lit a cigarette.

Still have to read through my grief paper, wish we'd had gone through it in therapy though, apparently my therapist didn't want to waste time talking about the grief process, but rather lecture me on DBT skills. Hmm I thought individual therapy was for processing things. I'm not really ready to talk about skills I don't really know much about yet or that I haven't learned in group yet... Ugh, just a little frustrated that I feel like I have to do all this processing on my own...

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Just found out my son's liver and kidneys are fine....the ultrasound was clear! They think the readings were out of whack from the trauma of his appendix surgery last month. This is such wonderful news.... I'm in fears from relief! Still some more personal hurdles for my family and I to jump through, but starting the day off with good news is a good start and gives me hope. I was really sick with anxiety all night last night.....everything felt wrong and I felt like the whole world was coming down on me and everything was going to continue to be horrible. I hate anxiety! I'm taking my pills again and will continue to do so. I really felt like I was on the cusp of an episode last night.....the adrenaline in my body and all the buzzing felt too similar to mania. I felt drugged with uppers....but it's clear now it was anxiety. I got good sleep last night and while I still feel edgy, it's a huge improvement over the past 2 days.

Glad to hear that everything turned out alright!

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I was able to drink again today, it feels so good. More than 3 qts and I'm starting to feel like myself, tummy better, lips un chapped and most importantly my headache is gone! Mmm water!

Glad to hear you can drink water again, especially in this heat!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by OctobersBlackRose

Yay, it rained today!!!

Also they came and picked up most of the medical equipment my Grandpa used, glad the oxygen tanks are out of here, my Grandma smokes, and I was becoming really paranoid that they were going to explode at any minute if she lit a cigarette.

Still have to read through my grief paper, wish we'd had gone through it in therapy though, apparently my therapist didn't want to waste time talking about the grief process, but rather lecture me on DBT skills. Hmm I thought individual therapy was for processing things. I'm not really ready to talk about skills I don't really know much about yet or that I haven't learned in group yet... Ugh, just a little frustrated that I feel like I have to do all this processing on my own...

could journaling help you process this?you could then bring that in with you to talk to her, you are paying her...this is your therapy session.
bizi

I don't know why I'm still depressed. It's been almost 3 weeks, and I'm about to go on a trip to Europe... lucky me...

I've completely lost interest in everything, and I've been trying to stay positive, but damn... it's not working.

Stubborn depression. Makes me want to take Adderall again to induce mania so that my depression will go away, although it might induce a mixed state since I'm depressed right now. It's not like I can contact my pdoc about it anyway, as he's gone until the 26th. I can contact the covering doctor, but I don't know what this person can do to help me. They don't know my history and it's not like they can give me anything.

[Anrea]

The Clash of the Titans

BP and BPD and ED were at play yesterday. I slept 3 hours, and am up. Obsessing over my bad yesterday. I need to let that go and not allow yesterdays obsessions continue. No luck so far.

well i never got my delivery of cola so need to chase that up today

heatwave is finally over- it's actually really cloudy today and is expected to be so all weekend (i actually don't need my fan on today, this is good news!)

[Coconutzo]

I've been having awful muscle pains since I upped my lamictal. (!?!?!?!?)
Emotionally I feel like garbage. Bye bye energy!
The ups and downs are constant and impossible to wrap my head around. I need a sense of understanding if I can't effing have control.
I feel like I'm being punished for trying to get well. I'm existentially remorseful

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Coconutzo

I've been having awful muscle pains since I upped my lamictal. (!?!?!?!?)
Emotionally I feel like garbage. Bye bye energy!
The ups and downs are constant and impossible to wrap my head around. I need a sense of understanding if I can't effing have control.
I feel like I'm being punished for trying to get well. I'm existentially remorseful

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

what dose are you at for the lamictal?
bizi

[Coconutzo]

Hi bizi!
I'm at 400. From 250 two weeks ago. It took me a bit to connect the two things but the muscle pains started when I reached 300

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[hopeless2015]

Going good so far today, went to lunch with a coworker and had a really nice time. I. Ready for the work week to be over, my minds already on weekend time, might make for a long afternoon

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

[Unrigged64072835]

My iPhone tanked yesterday. It was doing an update and the update wrecked the phone. Thankfully I have a phone protection plan with the cell phone company and I'll be getting another one without having to buy it.

My insurance finally covered my new meds and I'll be picking those up Monday. I had to knock down the Viibryd because even at a small dose (10 mg) it was winding me up. I take Vistaril to quell the anxiety and I end up sleeping all day. Not good.

At least the storms kept the heat index down today. Not sure about tomorrow, though.

[raspberrytorte]

I miss my family.

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I miss my family.

I'm sorry.

I went and got groceries yesterday. Was good to get out of the house. I need to buckle down and keep studying for the written driving test. I'm giving myself until next weekend and then I'm gonna take the test. Still waiting on my son to get his pay stubs for housing...ugh!

Overall, mood is level.

[Nammu]

I just spent a a few hours frustrated and hitting the damn ipad cause it wanted an id I didn't remember. I have every password written down!!! it wouldn't accept any of them!!!!!!! BLANKITY BLANK Modern tech. Finally I dragged out my lap top, almost 10 yrs old and on XP still. requires me to play solitaire for at least 30 minutes to warm up. finally I could get on the internet and search google, found a site that told me where to go, Yup my id was right wouldn't accept the password so asked for help, allowed me to create a new password used the old one it WOULD NOT accept it, told me to create a new password that I had not used before!!!! Damn tech it recognized my password!

hm. depression has now moved on to mixed... getting significantly worse.

but the worst part is that my pdoc's office refuses to help me. they say they cant help me because my pdoc is on vacation. then i explained the situation and asked if I could see (or at least talk to) a different pdoc for the time being. then they said, "no, we can't do that. we don't do doctor sharing." so now i can't see a different pdoc in person or talk to a different pdoc on the phone. it's not allowed, not even for emergencies.

now i'm screwed because i leave on tuesday for europe and my pdoc won't be back in his office until then! i have suicidal thoughts and they won't help me with my medication! i'm hopeless

Blue, do you have the option of going to the ER and getting emergency meds through them? I've done that before and they didn't even try to hold me. Your situation sounds very difficult and urgent.

[Cocosurviving]

My day has been ok. I had breakfast out it was good. I ate alone but I was ok with that. I had a little family drama. Last week my grandma and mom talked to me abt helping with something. I gave a firm no answer. Today they wanted to talk abt it again! My answer is still no. I talked with my older daughter abt hanging out thing weekend. It's so hot where I am. The temp is 101 but it feels like 106.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Blue, do you have the option of going to the ER and getting emergency meds through them? I've done that before and they didn't even try to hold me. Your situation sounds very difficult and urgent.

Well, I have some Abilify laying around, as well as Latuda. I was thinking about taking them without my pdoc's knowledge because I'm so desperate, but idk

It's not like I could even tell my pdoc. I can't leave a message (his voicemail is blocked or turned off) and the office won't let me give them a message to share with my pdoc. And sadly, idk if I can honestly afford an ER visit.

The only thing that sucks is Abilify and Latuda take 7-10 days to kick in, but I dunno if I have much choice. I'll probably end up taking both. Hope I don't OD or cause any serious med interactions.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by bizi

could journaling help you process this?you could then bring that in with you to talk to her, you are paying her...this is your therapy session.
bizi

I don't know, and insurance is paying her as I go to a community mental health care clinic... But I can at least try journaling as long as my thoughts don't get all disorganized and jumbled once they hit the paper.

[OctobersBlackRose]

It is way too hot and humid today...

Other than that dealing with bad cramps, been sleeping all day, my A/C isn't working right cause it is just too hot and humid for it to. A bit depressed today as well, idk...