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#851
Aug 04, 2016, 06:05 PM
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I feel so unappreciated. I haven't had a raise in 2.5 years. A manager just left, and while we are moving someone into her position, some of her stuff I am picking up. When major changes come down the pipeline, I'm often asked to figure out how to make everything work. Or at least to make a plan happen. I'm the one everyone in the company comes to short of the owner. But every time I have mentioned a raise, I'm always told "No, I have to give so-and-so a raise." Just venting. Enough is a enough though. I don't feel like my boss appreciates me anymore.
Sent from my LGLS990 using Tapatalk |
 Anonymous41403, Anonymous45023, bizi, kala83, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Takeshi, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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 Wild Coyote
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#852
Aug 04, 2016, 06:42 PM
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Alcohol is a depressant that's why so many of us drink when we're manic, it's self medication.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| bizi, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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| bizi, Takeshi
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#853
Aug 04, 2016, 09:45 PM
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Feeling down. Pain bad. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day... No idea if this is BP-related or not. Since I don't rapid cycle, if I'm better tomorrow I guess not (pleeease), if not, I hope I'm not headed down the rabbit hole...
Tapering down Seroquel (at my insistence to my pdoc), but I think after this week I'll stop lowering it. He's insisted on keeping Lamictal at higher dose I started when last depressed. Maybe I do need Seroquel at the higher dose I don't like, but I guess I can live with it, if it keeps me stable. I've just wanted to stop it all. Tired of filling those d*** pill boxes with poisons that apparently keep me stable. |
| Anonymous41403, Anonymous45023, bizi, Daonnachd, OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#854
Aug 04, 2016, 11:20 PM
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heading to bed...slept with the lights on last night...hubby is gone and I don't like being alone.
 bizi He will be back tuesday.
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Anonymous45023, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Victoria'smom, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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| Coconutzo, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#855
Aug 05, 2016, 12:29 AM
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I wasn't going into a depression. Tmi, but invega takes my period away and I didn't have it for like 3 months. Well I got it the other day but today I'm feeling much better. Man I was really depressed. Sleeping constantly, not eating. Just took a bath, feel like a new person.
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| Anonymous45023, OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#857
Aug 05, 2016, 11:18 AM
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What a weird week, home one day depressed, home one day with a bad stomach ache and back at work...oh and some jury duty a couple mornings. Best get myself caught up. I'm feeling pretty good mentally today so I need to take advantage of it
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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| Coconutzo, Wild Coyote
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#858
Aug 05, 2016, 02:44 PM
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I was too talky at work at meeting. I wish I had just kept quiet. Now I'm so ashamed of myself I'm being too hard on myself. Taking 1h long fast walk helped a bit to ease symptoms. I need to fight hard to win anxiety over.
I met my friend on the street. I have been obsessing on how would my meeting be after we had disagreements on sms. I have been putting up make up and spending time to choose outfits etc way more often to more self confident when I meet her. Now I was all wet from the rain. She was under umbrella. My heart started beating so fast. I just said hi, have a nice evening. That's it. I survived. |
| Anonymous45023, Coffeee, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#859
Aug 05, 2016, 03:42 PM
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having issues of rapid mania mixed with horid flares of anger. Mostly towards new puppy that I love soo very much.But he is ridicously hard headed. Me and fiance took him to obidence training and it went fairly well. But he picks and chooses when he wished to listen and mind.
he destroys and eats toys, or the ones that he does play with proper he gets aggressive with them towards the other dog. having a lot more issues with anxiety then anything else. Some downward cycles of depression but both them and the mania come so damn quickly its hard to tell. Friggin hate dealing with rapid cycle, I lately i have just been feeling lost in a title wave of my own emotions. I need to take a vacation of some kind and make time for myself. But I don't see how I can do that, I need to be working and earning money. But also need time for myself but with dog, work, school, training for work coming up soon.Its going to be hard. Maybe book a message date for myself....at a spa.
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Dx:OCD, AD/HD-C and ADD kinda both, General Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder,Abandonment Anxiety, Cycothymic disorder, or mixed bipolar, Border Line Personality Disorder,Histonic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality disorder, eating disorder ]Rx:Lamotrigine 25mg twice a day for my mood stablizer as well as I am on Escitalopram 10mg 1 daily, Buspirone 3 times daily 10mgs VT Student, CNA student, working HHA  for my father I think of you everyday
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| OctobersBlackRose, Takeshi, Wild Coyote
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#860
Aug 05, 2016, 03:59 PM
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feeling so-so. neither good nor bad. trying to stay positive.
i'm about to drop $1k in total on 2 new bikes, a bike rack, and a helmet. (buying mountain bike + road bike.) yeah, i like biking... What a shocker!  too bad mountain bike helmets are so expensive... but they've got the chin guard and they cover your whole head. bike racks, though... wow. i forgot how absurdly expensive they are! i need one for my SUV |
| OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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| Takeshi, Wild Coyote
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#861
Aug 05, 2016, 04:09 PM
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Got through my pdoc appt. I was sweating bullets on that but it turned out okay. Pdoc gave me something extra for the anxiety. I will have to try it out. She's not a bad person, but the whole process is unnerving to me.
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| OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#862
Aug 05, 2016, 06:46 PM
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Only maybe 6hrs of sleep in the past 47hrs, and I don't even feel tired, even with the benadryl. Today wasn't a bad day, just payed in bed trying to sleep, listening to music right now. The meds are.starting to kick back into my system, so I.feel a little.less agitated and irritable, 9 day off my meds really screwed me up, didn't think it'd have much of an impact on my symptoms, but it did, just glad I was able to refill them last week, and that they're kicking in. And I have to do my diary card before I forget...
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Wir sind was wir sind English We are what we are MDD w/psychotic features, BPD |
| bizi, Takeshi, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#863
Aug 05, 2016, 07:56 PM
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So, I'm done wallowing and boo hoo-ing.
I am determined to get better. I'm going to eat healthy, make sure I get enough sleep, take my vitamins, actually really be med compliant. I realize that before, during my recent episode, I was a selfish asshole. So... I'm 200% determined to no longer be a selfish asshole. I want to get healthy. When I rejoin my family in six months I am going to be a new woman! I'm turning over a new leaf as of today. This is my second chance at life.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| Anonymous37904, Anonymous41403, Anonymous45023, bizi, Coffeee, jacky8807, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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| bizi, Nammu
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#864
Aug 05, 2016, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
You go raspberry! !!! 
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| bizi, Wild Coyote
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| raspberrytorte
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#865
Aug 05, 2016, 08:05 PM
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So off meds my appetite is down my sex drive up but as my brain tryst to adjust on its own my moods are all over the place . Where is the damn happy medium I ask you??
__________________
I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
| Anonymous41403, Anonymous45023, bizi, Coffeee, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#866
Aug 06, 2016, 07:44 AM
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Hubby made French toast for breakfast this morning. It was good.
Trying to get into something today. Not sure what as of yet. Nothing really interests me as much. I have to work on that. |
| bizi, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#867
Aug 06, 2016, 09:05 AM
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need to have a second cup of coffee!
yawn bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Anonymous37904, OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#868
Aug 06, 2016, 09:11 AM
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Glad it's Saturday, have plan's with some friends tonight. Groceries need done and I might actually do a little cleaning, I'm feeling ambitious
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| bizi, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#869
Aug 06, 2016, 09:41 AM
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Not feeling well. I am going to have to make extra effort to not sit around.
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| OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#870
Aug 06, 2016, 09:56 AM
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I applaud new leaves, second cups of coffee, ambition, not sitting around, and especially French toast!
My day will be spent at the beach with my family. Oh, the soothing sound of ocean surf rolling in upon the sand.
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>< |
| Anonymous37904, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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| OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835
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#871
Aug 06, 2016, 11:11 AM
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I'm so tired. I've been tired this whole trip. I think it's because I've never fully adjusted to the time zone. I mean, I fall asleep at the right time and wake up at the right time, but I'm still tired and have to take a nap!
I walked 7 miles today, too, and I just had a nap. Downtown Vienna requires a lot of walking! |
| apfei, bizi, Coffeee, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, raspberrytorte, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#872
Aug 06, 2016, 12:36 PM
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I met with pdoc yesterday. It was a bit unnerving just because we were talking about past traumas. I've had some memories surface lately. It went well though.
Latuda is working well for my depression. Temazepam is helping with sleep. In addition to pain meds, am on the two listed and Depakote, clonazepam, citalopram. I have the house to myself today! I am relaxing and doing some housework/laundry. Love to all!  WC |
| Anonymous59125, apfei, bizi, OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835, xRavenx
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#873
Aug 06, 2016, 04:30 PM
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Stayed in bed til 2 today, seem to be doing that more and more. Feel blah today. There are dishes that need doing that probably won't get done.
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| Anonymous41403, Anonymous59125, jacky8807, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#874
Aug 06, 2016, 05:01 PM
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Washed clothes yesterday....they are still in the dryer, oh well there are clean. So slowly getting packing done. On the closet today....gee why is it so hard to part with old clothes?
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, OctobersBlackRose, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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| bizi, Wild Coyote
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#875
Aug 06, 2016, 05:48 PM
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Took my son to the state fair today for the first time. I think he had fun. There was way too much good food to choose from. Overall, it has been a good day.
Sent from my LGLS990 using Tapatalk |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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