Help

I told my mom this afternoon that I can't remember the last time I showered. She all but drove over and threw me in the shower. Showering did make me feel better for a stint. Once I get in I usually love showers but when I am depressed, it feels like a chore. Tonight I wished I could live in the shower to escape from my life. I called my mom and asked if I can call her if I feel unsafe in the middle of the night. She said of course. I am so blessed to have her!

When do you see your therapist next? could you call and see them sooner? Have you called your pdoc? You are in a crisis right now and need professional intervention.
So glad that you have a supportive mom.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I agree with what a few others have said the IP or IOP might be a good idea right now. It sucks people have to rearrange their schedules for the kids but they love you and they would understand without question. It would be far better for you and your children if you get the care you need right now. As for giving your husband leverage, going IP or IOP to take care of yourself would be far more favorable to the court system than letting yourself fall apart. I hope things improve quickly. Hugs.

How are you doing?
bizi

ATM she is still okay. She posted on FB 3 hrs ago. I will message her and ask that she respond. I think everyone being so supportive is a cushion she cannot go without at this time.

She wrote back and said would post on psych central again soon. As she has said in recent posts - she feels it is unfair to always be ranting and needing, instead of lifting up others. Perhaps that is why she hasn't responded. Continued reassurances will probably help in this area.

I'm thinking of you Cash. Stay strong girl. (((Hugs)))

(((((( CASHART ))))))
Love and Support

Thinking of you Cashart...sending love and hugs

continuing to pray for you. Wish I had words that help.

Thinking of you. I hope life will soon be kinder to you than it is right now. (((((CASH)))))

Cash, the whole point of PC is that we can use it when we need to, so please keep posting. We all care about you and want to send your our hugs and best wishes, and no one minds how often you write or what you say. What you're going through is so sad and so difficult, we want to help even if not IRL. Wish I was rich enough to fly to the US and stay, and I'd baby sit. I bet your kids are cute!

Cash, how are you? I've been thinking about you. Please post an update here. We never tire of you posting. We are all here for each other. Maybe start a brand new Cash thread so we can support you.

I'd visit you on FB but I don't do social media.

Casheart I hope you're doing ok.

Sending you positive vibes And thoughts and hugs.

It feels awesome to read all of the love and concern you have poured out to me in this thread.

I am so sorry I haven't posted or responded for a while. I have browsed around and read a lot of posts, especially this one, but I have been too unwell to participate and thank each of you. I can't say enough how much I appreciate all of you.

All my love.

The Sounds of Silence - Simon & Garfunkel:

You are so sweet! You'd be welcomed into my home any time.

Thank you! I see my therapist regularly. I saw her last today. She was very concerned and had me promise not to harm myself a day at at time until I next see her and to call if I feel unsafe...which I do...much of the time. Still, I have never made any attempts in my lifetime and that, coupled with my brutal honesty, will keep me out of the hospital unless it is absolutely necessary. I have to not only worry about my sanity but also worry about my children's well being while in the midst of this *most likely* divorce.

I have called my pdoc but as ridiculous as his office has proven to be is as ridiculous (don't get me started)as he has proven to be. The good news is I am going back to a pdoc who I can't afford with the help of my mom who desperately wants me better. I have an appointment with her on Thursday. She uses the genesight testing and does something called TMS which I admittedly know nothing about but is apparently innovative. Here is the website if you want to check it out.

About Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation TMS

My dr. did studies on TMS and is very excited about it. Apparently my hospital has been ready to do it for years but has been waiting for insurers to start paying for it. You go I think 5 days per week for about 4 weeks for a 30 minute appointment where they just stick a thing on your head (I don't think stick like adhesive,more like a headphone) and you can read or listen to music while they do it. It's supposed to be very effective for depression. (We seriously considered it for me in the fall but I didn't have coverage and if I had it it wouldn't have been enough and I'd have had to drive 2 hours each way every day which is not practical.)

My pdoc feels that it is likely to be a very effective thing for a lot of people.

I am so glad you are getting away from the ridiculous dr and that your mom is supporting that.

So glad to hear from you too. I worry about you even though I know you are tough.

So great yo to have you back with us Cashart. Thanks for updating us on how you are going. It was suggested I have TMS last time I was in hospital but the hospital wasn't quite equipped to do it yet. It is must less invasive than ECT too, which is a big bonus. I hope your new pdoc is miles better than your current one. You deserve the best treatment. Anyway, love you heaps and keep us posted as much as you can.

Thank you for posting!

The tms sounds very promising!!!
keep us posted....
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I'm glad you get to go back to the other pdoc, she sounds so much more professional. TMS has been around for a while but it's not too talked about, they use it at the Mayo clinic.