[bizi]

just wrote a letter asking to be excused from jury duty. wish me luck!
bizi

[Wander]

Originally Posted by bizi

just wrote a letter asking to be excused from jury duty. wish me luck!
bizi

Good luck!

No judge would consider a juror with a profound mood disorder. Sounds like a gross perversion of justice. That was my logic in procuring an excuse from jury duty a few weeks ago, and it worked. Today was not a good day. My psychotic aggression is becoming harder to conceal and extremely embarrassing and counterproductive when it reveals itself. My pattern is to absorb slights and insults and contradictions from a tormentor with poise and equanimity for the greater good and in the spirit of aloha for only so long, then suddenly go megaton in their face in front of a lot of people (preferably their family or employees, to maximize their trauma), expressing the frustration, anger and indignation accumulated in my negative emotion battery by all events up to that point. Of course, my reaction seems wildly disproportionate in context, which is an important step in establishing a solid reputation as a crazy person. Hypomania has been fun while it lasted but I need to cool off before I end up in a psych ward, homeless shelter, prison or dead.

[Coconutzo]

Reckless. Wasted. Impulsive. Angry. Checked out. Uninterested. Feck you.

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[VerMOZZica]

I`m feeling pretty tired and empty.Sort of numb.

my £109 sterrio broke after 1 week, so today been organizing for it to go back

DPD tracking have just collected it from outside

now need to order a replacement, going to try and get a prime deal.

started the week with another sleepless night- blah, that's 5 nights in a row..

1 more week of hot weather- then it will be autumn!. i feel really guilty today about the fact that it's almost the end of summer, and i've done **** all to enjoy the season (apart from let myself get too hot, play music to down out all the summer sounds, and sometimes use my fan)

blah.. i blame my agoraphobia for it- it's still no better.

[Nammu]

Been up since 6 am. Took the window treatments down. Put stuff that goes with me into the tub. It's sooooo humid I sweat just standing. I'm expecting the packers to arrive around 9 am. So nervous...be judged for bad housekeeping, between the depression and my back there's an entire corner in the bedroom I haven't been to in three yrs....can you say dust?

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

No judge would consider a juror with a profound mood disorder. Sounds like a gross perversion of justice. That was my logic in procuring an excuse from jury duty a few weeks ago, and it worked. Today was not a good day. My psychotic aggression is becoming harder to conceal and extremely embarrassing and counterproductive when it reveals itself. My pattern is to absorb slights and insults and contradictions from a tormentor with poise and equanimity for the greater good and in the spirit of aloha for only so long, then suddenly go megaton in their face in front of a lot of people (preferably their family or employees, to maximize their trauma), expressing the frustration, anger and indignation accumulated in my negative emotion battery by all events up to that point. Of course, my reaction seems wildly disproportionate in context, which is an important step in establishing a solid reputation as a crazy person. Hypomania has been fun while it lasted but I need to cool off before I end up in a psych ward, homeless shelter, prison or dead.

It's a secret....but guess what....some judges have mood disorders!

Bipolar. Eating-disordered. Reading books.

[hopeless2015]

So far so good, got a couple compliments on my new haircut, got quite a bit cut off so that was nice

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[xRavenx]

I am thinking about the past 2 weeks how my moods are kind of all over the place. It might be hypomania, but more of the irritable type. Plus, I usually don't drink, but I started drinking non stop last night. It seems I don't have much insight until now, because the people close to me have made comments that I'm not myself.

My mother says she tries not to be hurtful, but she can be.
She pointed out that I talk non-stop without letting others speak, and I'm not offended by that, but she started name calling, saying I'm annoying and make stupid decisions and basically insulting my intelligence with belittling names. I just wish someone in my life would understand. I'm glad I have therapy tomorrow.

[Coconutzo]

I'm really struggling to be happy. I'm forcing worry and concern about myself out of my mind. "Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Just don't " I'm being self destructive or over productive doing everything I can to just check out. I'm just angry, really really dang angry. I don't care about my wellness or my life. The list of things I can tolerate is dwindling. I don't feel depressed. I just feel mad. I don't know what any of it means.

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Doing "okay". Feeling a little "meh"...

Going out for a bike ride later this afternoon to make myself feel better.

I honestly can't believe how many bike rides I've managed to squeeze in! All on my new bike too. I must've put about 100 miles on it already, if not more (probably more).

I couldn't sleep til 2:00am and then was rudely woken early at 8:30am by noise of drilling or sawing in the building for the new fire alarm system. I got up and started my day but i felt sickish. I'm not a morning person and i am a long sleeper -- 10+ hours usually. I'm anxious because of my sick dog. But i just lay down on the sofa and rested deeply for a few hours and i feel ever so much better! Like a new woman. I phoned my dogs status report into the vet earlier and i'm waiting on their call. They may want her to come in, but at least it will be free.

Hm. I see why I was feeling "meh" earlier... I feel my mood getting slightly worse as the day drags on. Damn. I really *can't* go more than 1-2 months without an episode, can I?

I'm not even in the mood to ride my bike anymore. f***

Debating whether or not I should force myself to go. I feel like sleeping instead.

[zijax]

completely pissed off and irritable

[Unrigged64072835]

Daughter talking about looking at apartments. I guess it doesn't help to dream a little bit. She's got a long way to go before making that a reality, though.

Okay day; I had a bit of anxiety so I took a shower. It helped. Also had T this morning, so that was good.

Things are looking up! =]

[Daonnachd]

Glad things are looking up, RainyDay.

I met with my psychiatrist this morning. It was a beautiful drive there and back. I have to cross a 2000ft ridge. It was all tall trees in the mist today. I love a misty forest. Now the sky is bright blue and the trees gorgeous green.

[Gabyunbound]

I'm feeling very very sad because my dear cat, Schnookie, who has pancreatic cancer and other medical problems, seems to be taking a turn for the worse. I've asked a friend to look in on her while I'm at work tomorrow. I'm going to take a long walk, I'm hoping that will help to clear my head.

I see my pdoc, the one who has been filling in for my regular one while she's on maternity leave, in a couple of weeks. Depending on how things go that visit, I may well ask if he can continue being my pdoc. My regular one is nice but very aloof and I don't really feel heard. This one is far more engaged.

But he's the head of this Bipolar Clinic and I think has a lot of research and administrative duties, so I don't know if he would be able to take on another patient. Worth a try, though.

[Coconutzo]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Hm. I see why I was feeling "meh" earlier... I feel my mood getting slightly worse as the day drags on. Damn. I really *can't* go more than 1-2 months without an episode, can I?


I'm not even in the mood to ride my bike anymore. f***


Debating whether or not I should force myself to go. I feel like sleeping instead.

In my experience, I never regret forcing myself to exercise. Bike hard, nap hard! I believe in you!

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Yep, the company had a meeting this morning at sunup; it was decided that in light of the fact that yesterday I ramped up briefly to full-on batsh-t Condition Elmo in a public interactive 'front yard, broad day' configuration, we all might benefit if I spent the day cloistered indoors behind dense curtains of benzodiazepines, valproic acid and boo. I have transformed from our biggest asset to our biggest liability.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I am thinking about the past 2 weeks how my moods are kind of all over the place. It might be hypomania, but more of the irritable type. Plus, I usually don't drink, but I started drinking non stop last night. It seems I don't have much insight until now, because the people close to me have made comments that I'm not myself.

My mother says she tries not to be hurtful, but she can be.
She pointed out that I talk non-stop without letting others speak, and I'm not offended by that, but she started name calling, saying I'm annoying and make stupid decisions and basically insulting my intelligence with belittling names. I just wish someone in my life would understand. I'm glad I have therapy tomorrow.

oh yes definitely hypo! Do you have any meds to take when You get like this? or shall you call your pdoc?
bizi

[Nammu]

Ay ay ay......

[beigeish]

I feel empty & lonely. Going through the motions of things so I'm still functioning. Woo hoo.

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