Hear you, bluebicycle. Both Thursday and Friday I didn't get out of bed. Yes, depressed. It was clear Thursday nothing would happen, so marathoned Downton Abbey to the conclusion. Friday, absolutely nothing. My only accomplishment has been posting here on the forums. (Betcha couldn't tell. It's one of my best façade skills -- to write "up" for others and not let on. You all deserve nothing less.)

There's no crying or big emotional thing. It's the anhedonic numb hopeless kind. Things were good for so long (2 1/2 months!), then started to wobble, now... this. Hoping it doesn't go too long, because things need to get done that are absolutely crucial.

[Coconutzo]

I feel good today, despite getting quite hammered last night. I was emotional and it was helpful to get out with friends. Breakfast and tattoo appointment today!

[Wild Coyote]

It's been a stressful week. I am "pushing" today to meet my commitments.
I'll be glad once it's bedtime tonight. Am very tired.

I hope everyone has some FUN today!


WC

[Daonnachd]

I'm feeling a very strong urge to quit taking my meds. A little voice says, "No", but the pressure is mounting. To a lesser extent I feel inclined to cancel my ECT this week.

What's the trick to keep oneself properly focused on healthy choices when it seems the decision is out of ones hands?

Originally Posted by vertigo

I'm feeling a very strong urge to quit taking my meds. A little voice says, "No", but the pressure is mounting. To a lesser extent I feel inclined to cancel my ECT this week.

What's the trick to keep oneself properly focused on healthy choices when it seems the decision is out of ones hands?

oh no!

I can't really answer your question, but do you know why you don't want to take meds or do ECT? I know you had some anxiety about ECT in the past. But I'm wondering if you're on the verge of a mood swing because that's how I feel when I'm depressed... or how some people feel when hypo.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

oh no!

I can't really answer your question, but do you know why you don't want to take meds or do ECT? I know you had some anxiety about ECT in the past. But I'm wondering if you're on the verge of a mood swing because that's how I feel when I'm depressed... or how some people feel when hypo.

Primarily, it's because I'm doing so well. I have looked carefully at whether I'm hypomanic - without a clear conclusion yet.
The anxiety about the ECT, I discovered, was more about being a difficult patient. (That whole "overly empathetic" problem.) For the previous IV I was a frustrating five sticks for two different nurses. For this last one the nurse got me on the first try. I realised then that I was only anxious about making things hard on the staff taking care of me, and I can/should trust them to be capable and prepared.

I just don't feel like I need anything. I wonder if I could've managed the whole time without taking anything. I guess I'm questioning the diagnosis with this.

[Unrigged64072835]

Kind of unhappy with myself at the moment. It's going to take a few days to recover the data off of my drives. Then comes the task of figuring out what the files were. All because of me not reading all the instructions. Sheesh.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I have an awful case of hypersomnia due to depression. I think I got 10-11 hours of sleep last night, as opposed to my usual 7-8. Even worse, I don't feel refreshed! wtf

I want a nap -- like a really, really long nap.

Maybe I'll try to do some work today since I literally did nothing yesterday. I have to make up the time somehow. Bummer.

Blue, you work full time?
That takes real effort.
Don't be hard on yourself.
Be gentle.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[scatterbrained04]

Had several meltdowns today. Pretty sure I made my son feel like crap. Not a great day.

[VerMOZZica]

I feel so useless today.I`ve accomplished absolutely nothing.I`ve just been watching tv all.I feel empty and still irritable today.

[OctobersBlackRose]

I guess I'm going to an art and music festival tomorrow, maybe I'll see something I like and buy it, idk, hoping my anxiety doesn't get to me so I can have fun tomorrow. Right now just listening to music...

[xRavenx]

I'm feeling depressed and anxious today....on the verge of tears, but I can't really cry. I hate this. My life isn't so bad, so why do I have to feel this way--so unfulfilled, like nothing can satisfy me. Things don't make sense to me now. At least when I was hypomanic a few months ago, I was excited and happy. I'd do anything to get a taste of that feeling again.

[Victoria'smom]

My husband dragged me outside today. We went shopping.

[Nammu]

Been at mums house now for 4 days. It's going ok, kinda feel unneeded. I am cooking the meals but she'll be reading so I go read and the next thing I know she's outside washing windows. You can tell it hurts her but if I try to help she tells me to go away. The reason I'm here is to help! I know she doesn't want to feel useless but let me help. I wish I could get her to tell me things like, I want the windows washed would you do it?

Ah well, there's bound to be adjustments on both our parts.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Going to the art and music festival today, here's hoping my anxiety stays down and I have fun!

Feeling calm. Chronic pain is bad, but my mind is calm...progress?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Feeling calm. Chronic pain is bad, but my mind is calm...progress?

((((( RAINYDAY107 )))))

Peace, Comfort, Joy


WC

[Wild Coyote]

I've made it through the week! I was concerned I might not be able to keep my commitments. I had extended myself out of necessity this past week. A month ago, I could not have done so. I am very happy with this and will give myself a break today!


WC

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I've made it through the week! I was concerned I might not be able to keep my commitments. I had extended myself out of necessity this past week. A month ago, I could not have done so. I am very happy with this and will give myself a break today!


WC

happy for you !
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

happy for you !
bizi

Thank you, Bizi!
I did more in this past week than I have done in a month or more, in the past. I don't feel hypomanic, just a "normal" I have not felt in years. I don't know how long it will last; however, I am grateful and will enjoy while I can.


WC

[hopeless2015]

Feeling pretty good today. Groceries are done and I think hubby and I are going for a short motorcycle ride this afternoon, then grilling out for supper. It's another beautiful day here. The temperatures have cooled off here but are supposed to to heat back up starting tomorrow

Tired... again. I keep sleeping all day. I need to stop taking naps. *sigh*

Once this depression passes, I'll be okay -- I think. It seems to be lifting a bit. (Well, it's not as severe as it once was.) I still feel pretty awful, but SI is gone at least..

[hopeless2015]

Hugs Blue, hope you get better very soon!!

[Coconutzo]

Existential confusion and regret.

[Unrigged64072835]

My husband salvaged one hard drive. I'm hoping the other one can be resurrected as well.

We're going to my daughter's boyfriend's parent's house (man that's a mouthful) for dinner and a bonfire tonight. Hopefully it will go well.