Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 12:24 PM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Hi everyone .
I'm at my wits end. Today she had an appointment with a pediatric psych and he could not help us. It was a 30 min appointment at a clinic. My ex, his brother, and his niece were all hospitalized for bp. My ex is in denial and self medicated with marijuana, alcohol and cocaine. My d15 self medicated with alcohol and marijuana. Does anyone have any advice for how I can get her assessed? I'm also talking to my t about this later this week.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Hugs from:
Anonymous37904

advertisement
  #2  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 12:36 PM
Daonnachd's Avatar
Daonnachd Daonnachd is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
In what way was the pediatric psych not helpful? That's what I would've suggested.
__________________
><
  #3  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 12:37 PM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by vertigo View Post
In what way was the pediatric psych not helpful? That's what I would've suggested.


He said she was not clinically depressed. I says no she's not, she's bipolar and self medicating just like her father. He recommended family therapy as did her doctor. My daughter is willing to go to my therapist again for family therapy and my therapist is the one who's on to her bipolar so we'll go from there.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  #4  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 01:52 PM
newtothis31 newtothis31 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 304
I am so sorry to hear this. One of the shortcomings in bipolar treatment is that it is hard to diagnose, and clinicians can be reluctant to diagnose adolescents. Unfortunately, as you know, it becomes a lot harder to compel someone to get treatment after they turn 18.

If she is still seeing her pediatrician, I would give him or her a call and advise them on the situation and see what they say. Even if they do not have a suggestion on the bipolar aspect, your child's doctor should have information about where to go for drug abuse in teenagers.

Does your therapist have any child psychiatrist referrals? For your daughter to get the proper medication, she does need to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

Although you are probably right on her choosing to self-medicate with alcohol and marijuana, it does need to be addressed separately.

There is a really good book about drug abuse in teenagers- it's called beautiful boy by david scheff. His son, Nic ultimately ended up being diagnosed with bipolar although the illness is not referenced in the book.
__________________
Bipolar Type I | 40 mg of Latuda, 0.5 mg of Xanax | Diagnosed August 27 2013
Thanks for this!
leomama
  #5  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 01:55 PM
Unrigged64072835 Unrigged64072835 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Under the noise floor
Posts: 18,579
It's hard getting help for a teenager unless they want the help. I put my daughter through therapy and medication from 15 to 18. When she turned 18 she stopped seeing the specialists and threw her meds in the trash. I don't know what's keeping her going now other than the dream of getting out of this house. She has depression and anxiety, and possibly PTSD. She has the report for accommodations for college, but she doesn't want to use that either unless it'll help her take closed-book tests.I just understand your frustration.
Hugs from:
leomama
Thanks for this!
leomama
  #6  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 01:55 PM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtothis31 View Post
I am so sorry to hear this. One of the shortcomings in bipolar treatment is that it is hard to diagnose, and clinicians can be reluctant to diagnose adolescents. Unfortunately, as you know, it becomes a lot harder to compel someone to get treatment after they turn 18.

If she is still seeing her pediatrician, I would give him or her a call and advise them on the situation and see what they say. Even if they do not have a suggestion on the bipolar aspect, your child's doctor should have information about where to go for drug abuse in teenagers.

Does your therapist have any child psychiatrist referrals? For your daughter to get the proper medication, she does need to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

Although you are probably right on her choosing to self-medicate with alcohol and marijuana, it does need to be addressed separately.

There is a really good book about drug abuse in teenagers- it's called beautiful boy by david scheff. His son, Nic ultimately ended up being diagnosed with bipolar although the illness is not referenced in the book.
Thank you I will look for the book. In terms of your other suggestions I have done all that including taking her to substance abuse counseling. Since she's not on probation I can't get her intensive outpatient and I can't afford rehab or wilderness.

My therapist is the one who identified the seed of bipolar and my daughter is willing to do another family session so I think that's my best bet.

I appreciate the literary lead.

I am also a long term member of a program for family and friends of alcoholics and substance abusers and I belong to a group that is specifically for parents.
  #7  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 01:58 PM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fharraige View Post
It's hard getting help for a teenager unless they want the help. I put my daughter through therapy and medication from 15 to 18. When she turned 18 she stopped seeing the specialists and threw her meds in the trash. I don't know what's keeping her going now other than the dream of getting out of this house. She has depression and anxiety, and possibly PTSD. She has the report for accommodations for college, but she doesn't want to use that either unless it'll help her take closed-book tests.I just understand your frustration.
Thank you my daughter and I are very close. I think she's scared, understandably so. I'm going to take her to another family session and we are going to go from there. My therapist identified her bipolar seed so I think that's the best chance we have. Her doctor, one hour one day a week therapy and substance abuse counseling, one 30 min session with a pediatric psychiatrist have all been fails. My daughter does not have a learning disability. I had her assessed in 4th grade and requested subsequent reassessments in middle school and high school. She does have a mood disorder NOS. She's not depressed. She has manic phases too.
  #8  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 03:38 PM
Victoria'smom's Avatar
Victoria'smom Victoria'smom is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,919
Can you take her to a different pdoc? I know it was hell getting her to this appointment. Honestly if she's willing to work with your therapist let her. Meds are helpful but will she even take them? I ask because my son no longer wishes to take meds even though his MI impairs his life. It maybe best for her to be evaluated by the school and they offer therapy to students with IEPs. Start with your pediatrician to see if s/he is willing to prescribe until you get to a pediatric psychiatrist that you like and trust. Other then the drug abuse what are her symptoms? maybe make a list of those to take to her dr. I say go to the pediatrician because thy're the easiest to get into.
__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
  #9  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 03:49 PM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
I had her assessed in 4th grade, you might not have seen that post. I asked for reassessment in middle and high school and they refused. She does not have a learning disability or a conduct disorder. She's bright, social and gets good grades. She's had school counsellors from grade school to now. The schools have been recommending outside therapy since kindergarten as I ended my marriage the summer before she started elementary school. She has worked with a couple of therapists so far. Her doctor is not willing to prescribe medication. I'm going to take her to another family therapy session. She seems to trust my therapist and family therapy with me. I've discussed her symptoms with her doctor: she has been dx with a mood disorder NOS, nutritional disorder and substance abuse . I'm thinking what one of my support people said is true, she may have PTSD. She's not showing the self centeredness and lack of empathy I've seen in some adult female bipolar patients . I'm not going to speculate anymore. I'm just going to keep talking to my therapist .

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  #10  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:03 PM
snarkydaddy's Avatar
snarkydaddy snarkydaddy is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 982
School assessments are geared to handle any academic issues. If the academics are ok, than school officials are not likely to get involved. However they may make referrals, but I can see you all ready have taken all kinds of action. I do not know if you are able locate another pediatric psychiatrist to get a second opinion or not?

Though I know this is situation different, it took my parents quite a while to get a proper diagnosis of a learning disability that was discovered I had. I would go with your gut, and if you believe that she has a problem beyond the scope of being a normal teen, I would encourage you not to give up.
Thanks for this!
leomama
  #11  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:03 PM
scatterbrained04's Avatar
scatterbrained04 scatterbrained04 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,868
Quote:
Originally Posted by leomama View Post
She's not showing the self centeredness and lack of empathy I've seen in some adult female bipolar patients .
That statement is kind of offensive. I've found the opposite to be true in bipolar people. In fact, we tend to be too empathetic.

I don't have any suggestions that haven't already been suggested by others. I wish you luck ((((hugs))))

Sent from my LGLS990 using Tapatalk
  #12  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:06 PM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Ok then the women with bipolar that act self centered have something else in addition to bipolar . I apologize. My ex has a dx of bipolar and ASPD and NPD traits recognized by two of my therapists. My daughter is very empathetic. In fact she was concerned I was upset by the incompetence of the pediatric psychiatrist . Since you said this about empathy then it definitely affirms that she may have bipolar. Thank you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  #13  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:09 PM
Victoria'smom's Avatar
Victoria'smom Victoria'smom is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 15,919
Quote:
self centeredness and lack of empathy
Are not signs of bipolar. Are you sitting with her through the whole appointment? At 15 she should be talking to the pdoc by herself a little. I'd just keep her seeing your T until she admits she needs more help.
__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
  #14  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:11 PM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
Are not signs of bipolar. Are you sitting with her through the whole appointment? At 15 she should be talking to the pdoc by herself a little. I'd just keep her seeing your T until she admits she needs more help.


Hi. I think I'm not doing a good job of communicating here. No I'm not. She spent time with the pediatric psych today. I know the drill. She had her own psychologist for a few months but then the program lost funding. I think the book lead has been very helpful and my local branch has it. She has admitted to an outside professional that visited the school that she would like some help last year however she is active in her substance abuse right now so that shuts her down. It's complex.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  #15  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:22 PM
BipolarMama31's Avatar
BipolarMama31 BipolarMama31 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 535
Dont have any suggestions, but I read your post and I want to commend you on everything you are proactively doing to help.
You sound like a great parent.
When i was doing similar things at that age, no one offered me any kind of resources.

I respect you very much.

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk
Thanks for this!
leomama
  #16  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:25 PM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Ty I appreciate the hospitality and help of this forum. I will get the book, talk to my therapist, and make some phone calls off couple of lists I have. Getting her to see a new therapist is daunting.
Getting her to her last two therapists and substance abuse counseling was like pulling teeth. Even the local PD asked me if she was self medicating for anxiety and suggested I get her into therapy.

She likes my new therapist and she likes family therapy with me. She trusts me . I think when I start looking around for a new therapist for her I will say she has been dx with a mood disorder NOS and substance abuse and there is strong evidence she may have bipolar . I read in the bipolar resources how it is diagnosed but I assume that was in adults.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Hugs from:
Anonymous37904
  #17  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:37 PM
snarkydaddy's Avatar
snarkydaddy snarkydaddy is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 982
The understanding I have from reading & from person experience is that bi-polar can be misdiagnosed as narcissism when only viewed in the manic state. Which on the surface looks like a person being self absorbed/self centered. I realize this is not how it seen when being given diagnosis BP, but on the surface gives this appearance & impression of a self centered person. (You can search the internet for many example of this so I will not spend time of that here)

Accordingly when I was younger, I grew with 3 individuals who were either treated or untreated for bi-polar for religious reasons. And anecdotally they seemed very self absorbed & had a reputations as such.
Thanks for this!
leomama
  #18  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:40 PM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Thank you snarky, I didn't know what I was looking at and since I lived with someone who had dx bp and undiagnosed NPD traits I'm hyper vigilant about that. I appreciate all the feed back here. As you know my daughter also has exhibited those narcissistic traits during a manic phase so that also goes in line with what I observed. That's why we send people to the professionals. I would appreciate some links if you don't mind. You can pm since I'm sure the people on the bp forum are familiar with that info although I'm not.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  #19  
Old Aug 23, 2016, 04:50 PM
snarkydaddy's Avatar
snarkydaddy snarkydaddy is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 982
Quote:
Originally Posted by leomama View Post
Thank you snarky, I didn't know what I was looking at and since I lived with someone who had dx bp and undiagnosed NPD traits I'm hyper vigilant about that. I appreciate all the feed back here. As you know my daughter also has exhibited those narcissistic traits during a manic phase so that also goes in line with what I observed. That's why we send people to the professionals. I would appreciate some links if you don't mind. You can pm since I'm sure the people on the bp forum are familiar with that info although I'm not.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I will gather up what I have and post them tomorrow
  #20  
Old Aug 24, 2016, 01:07 AM
Anonymous37904
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
TRIGGER - graphic suicide talk








Quote:
Originally Posted by leomama View Post
He said she was not clinically depressed. I says no she's not, she's bipolar and self medicating just like her father. He recommended family therapy as did her doctor. My daughter is willing to go to my therapist again for family therapy and my therapist is the one who's on to her bipolar so we'll go from there.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Hugs to you. You're going through so much.

I have a short story and advice to give. It's not meant to frighten you or stress you out. I remember being your daughter's age. Well, I was 14. I made a VERY serious attempt to commit suicide. I OD'd on 30 Extra Strength Tylenol, an entire bottle of prescription sleeping pills and as much alcohol as I could swallow. I went upstairs and prayed for death. It was a school night.

It was not a cry for help. I was very troubled due to family stuff and I wanted to end the pain. I apparently vomited in the middle of the night which probably saved me. My mom found the vomit and the note. I was so sad I didn't die and could not grab the suicide goodbye note before my mom ("I love you. This isn't your fault."). I was abusing substances, too. I needed the escape.

I needed an individual therapist. Someone who I could trust. Someone I could confidentially talk to. (Instead, my mom shuffled me off to school that day and never got me help. I should have been getting my stomach pumped. I should have been getting help. Things got worse before they got better, but here I am. I never received help until I sought it on my own, as an adult. Getting help then may have done a lot of good things for me.)

You're a good mom! Love and support is needed. I think your girl needs support and help to cope with life. You getting her that help is an act of love.

If I'd been in therapy, I'd have been fine with a psych eval. I needed professional mental health care. I recommend a therapist just for her. Family therapy sounds good. But she needs her own therapist and go from there. I just needed something. Someone. Your girl may be trying to "escape" by using. That is what I did.

I didn't have time to read the replies...my apologies if this is duplicate advice.

Let her know she is loved by you. Take care.
  #21  
Old Aug 24, 2016, 01:13 AM
Anonymous37904
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by leomama View Post
She likes my new therapist and she likes family therapy with me. She trusts me . I think when I start looking around for a new therapist for her I will say she has been dx with a mood disorder NOS and substance abuse and there is strong evidence she may have bipolar . I read in the bipolar resources how it is diagnosed but I assume that was in adults.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Getting a new, separate therapist for her is excellent news. Ask if she has a gender preference and get referrals from family T. Her knowing family T recommends the T will be helpful.
  #22  
Old Aug 24, 2016, 01:21 AM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday107 View Post
Getting a new, separate therapist for her is excellent news. Ask if she has a gender preference and get referrals from family T. Her knowing family T recommends the T will be helpful.


Ty. She's had her own individual t prior. I was hesitant to pursue therapy again as she started to shut down towards the end with her last therapist however now I have something concrete to pursue besides just talk therapy.
I should add the "family t" is actually my therapist but we've had a short session with her as a family.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  #23  
Old Aug 24, 2016, 01:25 AM
leomama's Avatar
leomama leomama is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainyday107 View Post
TRIGGER - graphic suicide talk



















Hugs to you. You're going through so much.


I have a short story and advice to give. It's not meant to frighten you or stress you out. I remember being your daughter's age. Well, I was 14. I made a VERY serious attempt to commit suicide. I OD'd on 30 Extra Strength Tylenol, an entire bottle of prescription sleeping pills and as much alcohol as I could swallow. I went upstairs and prayed for death. It was a school night.


It was not a cry for help. I was very troubled due to family stuff and I wanted to end the pain. I apparently vomited in the middle of the night which probably saved me. My mom found the vomit and the note. I was so sad I didn't die and could not grab the suicide goodbye note before my mom ("I love you. This isn't your fault."). I was abusing substances, too. I needed the escape.


I needed an individual therapist. Someone who I could trust. Someone I could confidentially talk to. (Instead, my mom shuffled me off to school that day and never got me help. I should have been getting my stomach pumped. I should have been getting help. Things got worse before they got better, but here I am. I never received help until I sought it on my own, as an adult. Getting help then may have done a lot of good things for me.)


You're a good mom! Love and support is needed. I think your girl needs support and help to cope with life. You getting her that help is an act of love.


If I'd been in therapy, I'd have been fine with a psych eval. I needed professional mental health care. I recommend a therapist just for her. Family therapy sounds good. But she needs her own therapist and go from there. I just needed something. Someone. Your girl may be trying to "escape" by using. That is what I did.


I didn't have time to read the replies...my apologies if this is duplicate advice.


Let her know she is loved by you. Take care.


Ty not duplicate advice. I too had mental health problems at 15, but never made an attempt. She's had individual therapy before. I actually read the bipolar resource page to her about diagnosing. When I look for a t for her I will say I want her evaluated for bp. I appreciate the input.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  #24  
Old Aug 24, 2016, 01:28 AM
Anonymous37904
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
You're welcome. Keep trying and love her like you do. Maybe her knowing the door is open for therapy is enough. Take care xo
Thanks for this!
leomama
Reply
Views: 1284

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:21 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.