[scatterbrained04]

Doing ok. Having the "on the edge of depression" feeling again today. If there is such a thing. Teeter Totter. Almost worse than being all in.

[fishin fool]

Still feeling strange and now I am sick.
My sinuses are a mess.

[Icare dixit]

Day 1...

[VerMOZZica]

Feeling pretty depressed today.I mentioned in another part of the forums about my Mom having issues with anxiety an insomnia right now.I`m pretty worried about her. I`ve never seen her like this and honestly it really scares me.I t also hurts because there is nothing I can do to help her.I also know how hard it is to go through problems with anxiety.I guess I`m just feeling so bad for her right now is because she`s always been there for me and all of my family.I have to be strong now and be there for her.

[Unrigged64072835]

Got the last of the presents today. Took a bunch of stuff to Goodwill and ran couple of errands. So far no major depression. A little bit of bewilderment as I couldn't think of a thing for a stocking stuffer. Oh well.

I know I said I was taking a break but find it hard as I seem to be a bit addicted. Or maybe I just need a lot of support right now. My oldest son lost his mind again....I cannot go into the details but it was a very scary and tragic day. My mom, dad, sons best friend, my husband and myself were all involved and it resulted with needing to send my son to live with his father which he says he won't forgive me for. I'm so heartbroken and scared for him. He is my baby and he is hurting so badly right now and I'm afraid I will lose him. I don't trust my Ex Husband which is where he is staying but I have no other choice right now and my family and I all agreed my son needs a change. He needs to get away from certain friends and he needs medical treatment. We almost called 911 and had him taken to the hospital in a 51/50 because things were so very bad and scary. I want to go back in time with my son and do everything over and different. I want to hold him on my arms, cuddle him and watch Winnie Tje Pooh together. He loved poor. I want to fix him so badly and help him but it's not in my control or expertise. He needs professional help. He is such a beautiful wonderful kid when he's well. My heart is just breaking and I feel so powerless.

[gina_re]

I really feel like this buspar is ****in with me. When the dose has increased, anxiety has returned. Saw the pdoc last Thursday who upped my meds and gave me another month off of work to adjust. I'm trying to give it time, but....
Plus I'm out of sleep meds and won't be able to buy them until Friday.
Back to taking more klonopin again

[Nammu]

(((((Elsa))))) that's terrifying, to watch your child and not be able to fix things.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I know I said I was taking a break but find it hard as I seem to be a bit addicted. Or maybe I just need a lot of support right now. My oldest son lost his mind again....I cannot go into the details but it was a very scary and tragic day. My mom, dad, sons best friend, my husband and myself were all involved and it resulted with needing to send my son to live with his father which he says he won't forgive me for. I'm so heartbroken and scared for him. He is my baby and he is hurting so badly right now and I'm afraid I will lose him. I don't trust my Ex Husband which is where he is staying but I have no other choice right now and my family and I all agreed my son needs a change. He needs to get away from certain friends and he needs medical treatment. We almost called 911 and had him taken to the hospital in a 51/50 because things were so very bad and scary. I want to go back in time with my son and do everything over and different. I want to hold him on my arms, cuddle him and watch Winnie Tje Pooh together. He loved poor. I want to fix him so badly and help him but it's not in my control or expertise. He needs professional help. He is such a beautiful wonderful kid when he's well. My heart is just breaking and I feel so powerless.

That must be so heartbreaking Elsa. Words fail me. PM if you need to chat. I hope your beautiful boy gets the care he so desperately needs. Sending you all the love, peace, healing and wisdom my little soul can throughout the universe.

too early to really judge how the day will be (it's ojnly just gone 10 A.M)

but I am feeling good at the moment.

so I didn't sleep, but it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that's normal for me

struggling a little with bad memories of family, but i'm okay

[Nammu]

Just gave up on trying to sleep again. The doc finally sent the Rx for ambien in but now the insurance is saying it's too soon for a refill. Kinda my fault. My new doc cut my dose in half but I still got 60 pills so I took 2 as usual. Got find out who to talk to about this mess....maybe see about switching to something else. Been on 1 1/2 or 2 for almost three years. This mess up scares me because getting enough sleep is essential for my stability.

I don't think this mania has gone away

I got 3 hrs and 6 mins of sleep last night. (I write these things down and also use my Fitbit to keep track.)

I don't want to take my Seroquel PRN because it makes me eat more than I normally would, and I also tend to feel groggy in the morning. Maybe I'm not making the most responsible decision, but I had to drive into work today and couldn't afford to feel groggy while driving.

Also, I cracked my phone screen this morning!!! My phone fell down the stairs

[Wander]

Struggling to sleep. Been given Abilify 20mg and 4mg of Lorazepam. Nurses looking at chart to see if I can be given anything else. My dr hasn't written anything else. So will have to talk to him about it tomorrow. At least I'm happy manic. Can't complain with that. Was severe SI a few nights a go. Big switch. Happily watching movies, listening to music, talking to friends on FB and posting here. Can't quite focus.

Being given 50mg Clorpixil which should knock me out.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I know I said I was taking a break but find it hard as I seem to be a bit addicted. Or maybe I just need a lot of support right now. My oldest son lost his mind again....I cannot go into the details but it was a very scary and tragic day. My mom, dad, sons best friend, my husband and myself were all involved and it resulted with needing to send my son to live with his father which he says he won't forgive me for. I'm so heartbroken and scared for him. He is my baby and he is hurting so badly right now and I'm afraid I will lose him. I don't trust my Ex Husband which is where he is staying but I have no other choice right now and my family and I all agreed my son needs a change. He needs to get away from certain friends and he needs medical treatment. We almost called 911 and had him taken to the hospital in a 51/50 because things were so very bad and scary. I want to go back in time with my son and do everything over and different. I want to hold him on my arms, cuddle him and watch Winnie Tje Pooh together. He loved poor. I want to fix him so badly and help him but it's not in my control or expertise. He needs professional help. He is such a beautiful wonderful kid when he's well. My heart is just breaking and I feel so powerless.

Much Love to you and to your son and family during this very challenging time.

(((((( Elsa, Son and Family ))))))

Peace, Love, Comfort, Healing, Joy


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I don't think this mania has gone away

I got 3 hrs and 6 mins of sleep last night. (I write these things down and also use my Fitbit to keep track.)

I don't want to take my Seroquel PRN because it makes me eat more than I normally would, and I also tend to feel groggy in the morning. Maybe I'm not making the most responsible decision, but I had to drive into work today and couldn't afford to feel groggy while driving.

Also, I cracked my phone screen this morning!!! My phone fell down the stairs

I hope things stabilize for you soon.

(((((( Bluebicycle ))))))

Peace, Love, Comfort, Healing, Joy


WC

[hopeless2015]

Struggling this morning..I hate myself when I can't get myself together and go to work. Have pdoc appointment this afternoon.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

Struggling this morning..I hate myself when I can't get myself together and go to work. Have pdoc appointment this afternoon.

My heart goes out to you.

I had to stop work long ago now, much to my dismay.
When I read about people still struggling with this, I feel immense compassion.

Some days, I cannot get myself together for much of anything. My husband helps me even more than I often realize.

I hope the pdoc appointment helps in some way.

(((((( hopeless ))))))


WC

[Moose72]

Section 8 sent me a refund check. Woohoo. Went in the bank. Now if I only knew what to get the kids for Christmas...

[Icare dixit]

Day 2...

[hopeless2015]

Pdoc upped my Lamictal will see if this helps. I just want to live my life, I'm tired of fighting this, I'm missing too much work still. I'll have a couple good weeks and think I'm cured....what a joke!!

[Moose72]

I'm hanging out waiting to go to choir rehearsal in the snow. I put socks and a sweater on- I keep it at 65. I have Madeas Christmas recorded but I just wanna lay in bed. It's warm!

[OctobersBlackRose]

Been tired all day, snowed a little this morning, been listening to music for the past few hours. Not much else going on.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by OctobersBlackRose

Been tired all day, snowed a little this morning, been listening to music for the past few hours. Not much else going on.

That sounds great!

[Faltering]

Work has been stressful from trying to get everything done before the holidays. I'm not sleeping too great but I'm holding up surprisingly well. Only ten days now until I see a pdoc!

[JustJace2u]

For the first time in a few months I'm starting to feel good about myself. What happened to me last week was probably the wake up call I needed to get my ***** together before it truly is too late.