Smoking too much.

I have to quit smoking because it's becoming too expensive.

I smoke a lot I guess. About half a pack a day, sometimes more, sometimes less, depending. It's gotten worse recently, since I moved back in with my husband and daughter.

My husband even commented on how it seems like it's gotten worse, and I couldn't tell him why really. But then I started thinking about it, and it's because I have no idea how the future is going to play out. I'm freaking out about it constantly. Our plan is to get our own place again in June, after our daughter is done with the school year here. But how are we going to get our own place again if I don't get disability?! I can't work full time right now. Working part time would be pointless because I'd be working so we could pay for a sitter pretty much.

Why can these disability people not tell me their decision RIGHT NOW. At least some sort of indication either way. I called to let them know that I have a new doctor, only to be told that my case has been closed and that I should call the SSI office. So I called them because I haven't gotten a letter in the mail, waited on hold for an hour, and then was told that my case was in some sort of review period and they'd let me know the final decision at the end of December, whatever that means.

So now I'm freaking out about that, trying to figure out what it means. I mean, if they were going to deny me, wouldn't they just do it? Why would they sit and review that decision?!

I can't stand this. I feel like puking constantly.

How could they deny me?! How much more ****ed up do I need to get?!

This waiting is just killing me.

So I've been smoking like a chimney and need to quit and just the thought of quitting is making me feel like puking.

Damn it! I'm going to go have a cigarette right now!!!

I'm still waiting on my disability decision too

I totally undertsna I've bought cigs every day for three days, when usually I bhy every other da I guess because I know I'm going to try quitting again on nov 1 so I'm smoking it up while I still can. I tried to quit oct 4 and that was a disaster. The anxiety was soooo bad. I gave in after four days. But I really want to quit for my health and because I don't want my so. To think smoking is a good idea (although the damage is probably already done there). I always have an excuse not to quit though. It's so hard! I wish you luck when you finally decide to quit. And I hope disability gets back to you soon.

Thanks, wildflower.

I don't know if this is true or not as I've never done heroin, but one time I was told that quitting smoking is harder than quitting heroin.

I can't stand nicotine withdrawal! My face starts to feel like it's melting off, then my heart starts to pound, then I start feeling hot, then I want to destroy everyone around me. I get intense cravings during certain situations, or when I start feeling a certain way. I'm an emotional smoker. I can barely go two hours without having a cigarette.

Quitting is going to make me so depressed. I really enjoy smoking. I don't even care about the health thing. I'm just quitting because I can't afford it anymore.

This sucks. This is just sucky!

Good luck quitting.

Hopefully our smoking cessations won't be too difficult.

By the way I'm sorry my message was practical incoherent. I've had a bit to drink lol. Anyway I enjoy smoking too! But my son is already terrified that I'm going to die, and when I think about dying it makes me sick with fear to think he will be left alone. If I really don't want to die (what a novel concept) then I've GOT to quit smoking.

Plus it will be cold as hell soon and I don't want to be stuck outside lol.

I'm such a weirdo. I actually enjoy smoking in negative temperatures, during thunderstorms, during blizzards, etc. The only time I don't like it is when it's one hundred degrees out!

I should be quitting for my daughter too. She already wants to start smoking. She's told me she wants to smoke. I'm a horrible mom. Whenever I go outside for a smoke she usually comes with me. She's actually picked up cigarette butts when I wasn't looking and tried to smoke them! She just turned five! I'm such a bad mom.

What are you drinking?

You're not a bad mom. My son is five (almost six!) and they just pick up everything. I feel like a bad mom too but we are just doing the best we can! I just feel bad. I don't want him to start smoking because it's just so hard to quit. My son comes with me too. I guess because I don't like sitting outside so it's the only time he has outside. Which makes me a bad mom to ugh parenting is so hard.

I'm drinking vodka and "sparkling flavored water" lol. By myself too. It's my reward for working so hard to clean out the garage. I like wine the best but my A1C is high and I need to cut carbs. So vodka it is.

I used to drink vodka, back in my drunken days. Now I can't even drink a glass of wine without a hangover the next day. If I drank vodka I'd probably be sick for a week. lol

You're right. Kids do pick up on everything! She wants to wear my make up too. When she was two I turned my back for a moment and when I looked back she had tried putting my eyeliner all around her eyes. It was cute. I freaked out though because I thought she was going to stab her eye out.

And we really do enjoy our smoke together. She brings her milk and I get a beverage (usually a soda or something), and we go outside together and I turn on music on my phone and we dance, or run up and down the driveway. And in the winter we go outside in blizzards together. lol. Yeah. I take my kid out in a blizzard. More mommy points for me!

Lol if I could stand it my son would be out in all types of weather. Today it was only 50 degrees out and he was out all day and complained heartily about having to wear a jacket. Last year we only had one blizzard but we were out all day shoveling and I didn't even think to make sure he was wearing a hat and gloves! I was so pissed at my husband for dying at leaving me and my momto shovel the 24 inches of heavy wet snow by ourselves that I wasn't even thinking. Maybe I won't win mom of the year but at least he knows I love him.

Well I just smoked my last cig (I should have bought more but oh well) and finished all the vodka I had left so I guess I should go to sleep so I don't crave more cigarettes. Dragging my son out tomorrow in the am to get more should be fun. Another reason to quit! No more early morning convenience store trips.

Oh well. We're only human!

I just bought this pack of cigarettes and am already going to have to buy another pack tomorrow night. It's so embarassing. I bought some nicotine lozenges. I'm terrified of quitting though!

HUGS!!!!

I have noticed that smoking lessens the side effects of my medications. I smoke about 60 cigs per day. I did actually did find a doctor that knew about the smoking/side effects thing and there are even a couple of studies floating around about it, but I don't remember where. You could try finding the studies using googlescholar.com you probably have to pay to read the study but you can read the abstract for free which is usually very helpful.

Anyway I guess my point is I really need to quit but don't know how I would do with increased side effects.

I quit almost two years ago. You have to want to quit more than you want to smoke.

Quitting smoking is serious and hard business.

Keep trying. Drink a lot of water and take vitamin C and get exercise. Take kids tothe park, run around with them and play with them, rinse and repeat. You need to get out of the house and away from the house and distract yourself.

I never knew this. Interesting. Good Luck. You have to want to quit more than you want to smoke.

yeah I'm smoking like a pack and a half a day now...

I need to quit too. I need the money for other things. I've quit before for the same reason. Had to keep VERY busy. Kind of worried I'll make myself hypomanic.

I tried cutting down. It worked because I got down to about a half pack from a pack but I couldn't seem to go lower. Wanted to be the person who can smoke only 2 or 3 a day. I don't think that person exists anymore. I had to go from half pack to cold turkey. But I did use nicotine patches for a few months.

Cigarettes are juiced up with 2,000 chemicals that make them way more addictive. So if you try to quit and find it quite hard that may be one reason... chemicals make cigarettes more addictive than ever.

I changed to a vape. Had the same nicotine as a pack of cigarettes. Cut it down to nothing. I still have it in case I get anxious (usually when I'm riding in the car).

I want to quit so badly. I just can't quit while in crisis and that's been my problem recently. I get STRONG suicidal ideation when quitting unfortunately. As soon as I stabalize a bit more I'm trying again. I smoke SOOOO much when on the manic side....more than 2 packs a day sometimes. I recently got a little hypo and started smoking more but luckily it's settling down and I'm back to about 15 cigs a day. Still too much and I'm really looking forward to putting it all behind me. Maybe we can start a quitting smoking thread since so many as facing this dilemma. A place to support each other or something. It's so hard....we probably need as much support as possible.

I quit drinking and taking benzos and pain killers-11 months clean and sober. But I started smoking. And I like it. I don't want to stop. I do hate the way my car smells. I feel bad about that. But I'm not beating myself up over smoking. For me drinking and drugging were far worse on my life and im proud of myself!

There are quit smoking online communities, too. I was a member of one for about a year. I also visited others. They are really helpful in that one feels less alone, and also one can pick up tips. I would say these online communities made the difference in my final quit's success.