Questions: Bipolar Version 2

same!

around 9...

music.

do you feel let down by your mental health care?

No, but they feel led down by me because I'm not improving much when not manic or depressed.

Are delusions (including those of mania) or hallucinations your biggest problem?

I'm just assuming it's delusions.

Do you ever fear hallucinations or you just see them and you don't think too much of it or only discover/realise when they're gone that they were hallucinations?

I fear them because once they start there is no stopping them and I end up in the hospital. I can't tell reality from fantasy anymore. It's the hardest thing when you lost complete grip on reality and you don't even know!

How does bipolar affect your sleep?

I think generally, it would be perfect if there were about 34 hours in a day. There must be something wrong with our light sensitivity (reaction), (again) our hypothalami. They might just be damaged and slow.

Are you dyslexic and/or left-handed (predominantly)?

No I'm right handed though I do use my left hand for things like playing the piano.

Do you need reading glasses? I have to take off my glasses (prescription) to read!

I have multifocal and I still take them off to read.

When was the last time you did something nice for someone else?

I reached out to my friend for the 11th time to try and get her our of her house to do something. But she is just too depressed. My constant effort to keep this friendship alive is the nicest thing I have done for someone because usually I just give up on people. I hope she comes around.

How many meds do you take?

2. One for perception, one for mood.

Do you feel guilty when depressed (try antipsychotics; it's always irrational)?

I definitely feel an enormous amount of guilt when depressed. It drags me down into such a hole that i can't get out of.

Can you pull yourself out of mania?

No. But I nearly always contact my pdoc as soon as it's an obvious problem so I get med changes quickly usually.

Have you taken a med to help with weight gain from meds?

Yes. Metformin . I should go back on it.

Have you ever owned an exotic pet?

No, I have not.

How/when can you tell you are hypomanic?

I can't. I jump straight to manic usually skip hypo.

Would seeing an angel freak you out?

I believe I have seen one and it made me peaceful but i have also seen 'dark' spirits and they freak me out. Has been a while though.

Do you believe you can have a true spiritual experience when psychotic?

No, because I'm atheist.

what was your scariest hallucination / delusion?

I was riding the train all day bc it's usually comforting, but then it got hazy and I thought it was going to be bombed, and that two men were luring me towards them to assault me. A scary, concentrated haze.

Do you have a specific delusion that you can't get rid of? Something that even when you're stable, you feel could be/is true?

regardless of how i'm feeling, anything to do with family or fire tend to stick around

they are such big triggers that they remain triggers even when i'm not actually triggered. lol.

is taking care of yourself important to you?

(regardless if you actually do it or not)

I have no idea what happened to the title of my message.

lol

Not important enough.

Have you ever imagined yourself without BP, what you might've done/become?

Yes, probably married with kids and a "normal" life. Well whatever normal is considered to be, lol.

Do you daydream a lot? Do you think it has something to do with your bipolar?

No I don't but if I did I wouldn't think it had anything to do with my bipolar.

What are your current obsessions? Food? Music? Shows? etc?

It would have to be the internet and music. Some TV but it isn't so bad. The past two days my obsession has been PsychCentral!

Do you remember your dreams?

Since I'm taking antipsychotics, yes. As a child I did as well.

How do you contribute to society?

Well I picked up a job writing for a magazine for my community, so I am looking to more active that way.

Do you get along well with other people who have bipolar?