Questions: Bipolar Version 2

A bottle of red wine a day or every other day, water and heat/sweating.

Do you ever go to page 4 (where this is from)?

Yes, usually in search of this thread or another I feel never came to a conclusion that I saw.

Will you have new insurance at the beginning of the year?

No. my insurance should stay the same.

What is the most valuable lesson you ever learned and how did you learn it?

That the purpose of life is to understand it and that that is not something you should focus on exclusively, believing that nothing else matters and God will provide.

Depression taught me that. I'm very much ambivalent about it, more than anything, which probably makes it the most valuable lesson.

I have learnt many valuable lessons over the years. Most recently, be kind and gentle to yourself. This is part of my recovery plan.

How much does your health insurance cost monthly. Mine is $150AU (~$200US)

About $170 for the parts of Medicare that aren't free. That includes a big increase in prescription insurance for 2017 because I couldn't find a plan that covers clozaril well.

Do you mail order or a pharmacy for meds?

I go to a pharmacy.

What's your earliest memory of being bipolar? (I was 4 or 5)

I remember being anxious from a young age. I remember being called "moody" when I was in 2nd grade. I first thought about suicide when I was 12. But I was just recently diagnosed after being told it was GAD and major depression.

Does anyone else in your family have bipolar disorder? My mom is BP1 and I'm 2.

No I am the only one in the family with an mental illness

Question: What's your favourite bipolar moment (while manic or in a stable mood)

When manic, every next/last moment is my favourite (unless I fear losing myself or dying) or (when it's most severe, but without fear) there's just one moment so there can't really be a favourite. After mania, all manic moments were unfortunate. Only the whole experience and some of the (more abstract) ideas are maybe worth it. The missed opportunities and destruction is awful.

Which antipsychotics have you tried?

Clozaril, seroquel, zyprexa, risperdal, abilify, geodon, loxapine, latuda. Maybe one or two more.

How are you doing with holiday stress today?

Not good in general. And my best friend, my grandmother, passed on Xmas three years ago. And I'm broke so I don't know how I can get anything for at least my nephew. But if I don't, he'll be fine. It's just a lot right now.

Can you remember how many med combos you've taken?

I'm on 70 or 71, without including dosages. For some reason I started writing it down a long time ago and am glad I did.

Did you take psychology classes in school and if so did they help you when you were diagnosed?

I dis six months of a psychology degree then dropped out. Not much information really in such a short time. I have however done a lot of personal study of scientific texts since then. The school classes didn't help me at all but my personal study did.

Did you suspect you had bipolar before you were diagnosed?

Yes and no. My mom is BP1 and gets the crazy mania so while I thought I may be "like" her, I figured I didn't have PB because I don't get mania. It wasn't until I learned about BP2 that it clicked. I'm not euphoric like her... because I'm BP2!

What do you do to relax when you're hypo?

Nothing? I just got told by a friend I saw today that I was bouncy and activated. I mean what does Starbucks put in their coffee? (I drink coffee most days of the week so that was a joke). If anything I try to listen to relaxing music.

Do you shower before bed or when you get up in the morning?

I usually shower in the morning before I go out for the day.

Did you fight your diagnosis or embrace it?

At first. Not the diagnosis itself, but seeking help. I thought/said that if anything, it was my dyslexia. I thought they were the problem and not me and I still believe that. But if they rather give me money than to accept people who are different, just some flexibility, and I have to have a diagnosis for that, I don't mind. But one is responsible for making this world a better place regardless. It's actually easier. I see it as an investment.

Why (!?) do you use more than two meds (if you do)?

I am on three meds. Lithium is for the Bipolar and helps keeps me stable. Ritalin is for mild ADD and Clonazepam for anxiety due to PTSD. I am happy with the amount of meds I take now. There have been times when I have been on seven.

What is your favourite med?

Lamictal. It has done wonders for me, especially when paired with lithium.

How old were you when you first started taking meds?

~25.

Were you taking meds before your BP (of SZA/BP) diagnosis (and what kind)?

I was on Lithium and anti-depressants plus occasional AP before BP diagnosis. The Lithium had just been added due to my mood swings but they thought I had BPD.

How many diagnosis's did you have before you got the BP diagnosis?

Just ED and depression.

How long did it take for a proper dx happen?

10 years, but more could be added. Things do feel like they're going down the right track though.

When did your MI first start?

When I was about 9 years old.

What is the best non-med tool you use to help with symptoms?