Questions: Bipolar Version 2

Yes. My favorite is my manic Mickey. It's kind of like my avatar but drawn from a different angle.

Do you believe in aliens?

Somehow I believe they are more likely to exist in an alternate universe. Maybe we are the key to it or at least more so than anyone else.

But now I feel a bit like a heliocentricity denier.

Is it easier for you to admit having been manic or depressed?

It's easier to say when I've been depressed, but mainly because it's harder for me to realize when I'm manic. That's something I don't notice, but others do.

How long did it take for you to get diagnosed?

About 17 years since seeing my first doctor at age 20 for what he labelled depression.

What is your most difficult symptom to deal with?

irritabillity

it can really, really, really mess you up.

easiest psymptom to deal with?

For me there is no easy symptom, when they come up its pretty bad.

How many meds are you on?

Two (and nicotine). Hopefully just one in the near future (I'll experiment). I hope supplements, herbal tea and an antipsychotic will be enough. I may try to use more nicotine instead of my antipsychotic.

Has mania strengthened your belief or awakened a belief in God?

it certainly has.

I think i've always been a bit of a believer (or rather I wanted to believe), but never really saw reason too

so I don't read the bible daily or go to church, but i've got so much more of an interest and a belief now- and the more and more I think about it, I can think of some times where god was certainly present in my life.

sticking with beliefs.. do you believe in an afterlife?

do I believe in an afterlife..... maybe

I don't believe you just crumble to dirt- I think it's actually impossible.

are you glad christmas is over?

YES! Although it isn't quite for me but the last thing is easy compared to the rest.

How long does it take you to recover from the holidays?

It's a wound that never heals, but I'll have it fully stitched up in a few weeks time, I think. But I hope the salt will be out by tomorrow afternoon.

It's Pandora's Boxing Day.

Do you unequivocally love your parents?

I dislike my parents terribly,, and wonder why they ever had children

what is your worst habbit

Carelessness.
I episodically get myself into LOTS of trouble because of this. If I'm high, I'm careless because I'm invincible. If I'm low, I'm careless because I have nothing to lose.
When I'm stable it's not so much of an issue.

What are your hopes for 2017

that my mental health manager toyah will find more sources of support for me, and will continue to support me herself
to at least feel content in my life and not constantly wanting more

to move to another part of the country

what were some positive things that happened in 2016 for you

oh.

to finally figure out the burning question i've had for years... why are toes tickilish?

I don't know. It happens to the soles of my feet but quite intense and really within the bottom part of my feet. It's hard to describe. It's like there are little creatures in there. Maybe it's an illusion or hallucination or just something purely physiological. It's weird and it's not like that all the time and not based on touch really. But no other ticklishness. Nothing more ordinary.

Do you think mania gives you a glimpse of some truth?

Can't say that I've ever experienced full blown mania. Definitely have experienced hypomania, though. And with that, I become more energetic and make bad and impulsive decisions.

How did you feel when you were diagnosed? Disbelief? Mad? Sad? Relief?.....

Relief that finally there was some kind of treatment out there for me. I used to just think I was crazy, as I was completely disconnected from the outside world where nobody could relate or understand.

Did you ever attend an Intensive Outpatient (Day Treatment Program)? And if so, was it beneficial?

No only inpatient only. I heard it can be though.

Have you ever induced (or tried too) mania/hypomania?

yes, (and I'm sure most, if not all, have done too)

do you find new year's eve difficult to cope with

Kinda. I'm a bit of a grump because people are out getting drunk and staying up til the wee hours of the morning, but for my own sake I have to stay sober and take my meds which will knock me out and I can't party the way I used to before diagnosis.

do you find certain times of the year you consistently get a certain type of episode? (ex: every november I get manic)

Not really my episodes are random.

What is your shortest episode you have had?

February. I had four days of hypomania where I cleaned like I never cleaned before. I swore I could scrub the entire house from top to bottom that weekend! That and do two other projects for the house.

When was your longest episode? For how long?

I think 2 years plus. Started situationally depressed, eventually got manic then mixed and then that responded to treatment but I got very depressed and nothing touched that until I went on Clozaril in February. In contrast though I'm within months of not having "severe" attached to my name about anything current which is AMAZING and a very new experience for me.

Did life change for you in 2016?

Yes it did. It began with my first hospitalization over last Christmas into the new year, so 2016 started with me in the psych ward. Over the next few months, I spent a lot of time online, being manic here and there not sleeping, and basically trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I still don't have it figured out but at least for 2017, I am armed with a new job and a better sense of self.

Are you planning any changes for 2017?