Questions: Bipolar Version 2

Oh, so much to do! First I would finish my studies so I could get a great job (I am studying Writing and would like to be an editor as well as publish my own work). While doing that I would try to find a wonderful man I can spend the rest of my life with then once I have the money saved, travel with him, buy a house, get a dog and live happily ever after

Back to reality.

How long does it usually take for your mixed states/episodes to pass?

I feel like i can have moods/episodes that only last few hrs to few days.

When you are hypomanic/manic do you find you clutter/collect stuff or go on cleaning/throw put everything purge?

When I'm hypo I feel the need to clean everything!! But I don't think I do a purge, I do that randomly throughout the year when I realize I'm not using something.

What is your best coping mechanism?

Impulse buying stinks. Stuff you have to have and then feel horrible about later. I get depressed about what I'm bought....Yes, the crushes are embarrassing and can come out of the blue.

* ASMR videos
* Journalling
* Dancing
* Napping

How do you clear your mind when you feel foggy and disoriented?

I like writing it all down.
I don't care if it's a mess,, or if it's hard to understand- hell I don't even care if their's spelling mistakes in it.

writing it down helps, and when I feel better later on I can tear it up

what are your experiences with chrisis lines (those that have used them?)

Once when in London I called a crisis line at 3am in the morning from the hostel I was staying at. I had been assaulted 2 days prior and was in a very distressed state. The guy on the line suggested I have a cup of tea. A cup of ****ing tea! It actually made me laugh, which helped but besides from that he was useless. Didn't even tell me how to report it, or suggest I should. I had been in the country 2 days and had no idea what to do. In the end I left it and tried to move on with my life but I had to return back to Australia 6 weeks later as I was too upset to be alone and to work. I had planned to stay in London and work to save more money to travel to Greece, Turkey and Egypt. Even had the tickets to get there and back from London. This was after 3 months backpacking in the USA and Canada. Stupid guy. he could have helped me but instead gave me platitudes and useless advice. I have never called a Crisis line since and that was in 1999.

What is the worst advice you have received while seeking help from professionals?

Wander that's terrible.

I was told by a psychologist that if I just wold have sex randomly I'd gt over being sexually abused for many years. This was made even worse because I'd already told her that based on religious beliefs I was not interested in sex outside of marriage, yet this was her only recommendation. I didn't go back.....

How often to do you forget to get a med filled?

Rainbow that is so disgusting .so messed up of her. How horrible!
When I'm actually trying to stay on meds I'm good. When I start my do I i really need these? Phase that's when I start "forgetting"

Do you use any type of spirituality/ religion etc to get you through hard times?

Unfortunately, I only seek God when I'm not doing good. The rest of the time, I don't even think of him. Sort of an ingrate.

Do you mention this forum to people that have mental illness?.

Actually I have. And to anyone that is having a very difficult time because of the other boards. Whether or not they did, I don't ask. That's their choice to make, I'm just planting the seed.

We've all been in the 'I hate taking a shower' phase....what was your longest streak without a shower?

A week. But that was when I had lamictal rash and even lukewarm water burned. Usually I can't take it after 4-5 days. I have really long, really thick, really curly hair and it becomes so gross and matted I have to wash it, especially on clozaril because it makes me drool very heavily in my sleep and that just adds to the grossness.

Showering got a lot easier since my therapist convinced me that it's perfectly fine to shower every other day and that he does that. It's a lot better than feeling guilty all the time.

What do you feel false guilt about?

Everything. Especially when depressed but in "stability" as well. I come from a long line of shaming. A long line of mental illness too so perhaps that factors in? Along with grandparents who grew up in poverty and troubled parents. Ahh but how far can one go back without coming to the realization there is only the here and now and self defeating thoughts of guilt are useless? So yeah I'm working on it

Do you think trauma can trigger bipolar or only complicate it?

I don't know for sure if I would have Bipolar if I didn't have such a traumatic childhood. Only my uncle and cousin may have BP (not diagnosed but seem to have the symptoms). My parents, grandparents and sister are/were(grandparents dead now) all very stable mentally. What I do know is that when I have had a big trauma trigger I often go into a bad BP episode which confuses things a lot. One pdoc said my BP is due to the trauma but my T and current pdoc believe I would have had BP even if I had a great childhood as it is a biological disease. I tend to lean towards the belief that trauma only complicates BP rather than causes it. I have clear episodes that occur when trauma is not an issue. Last year my PTSD was very quite, so much so that I don't have the diagnosis anymore, and I still had about 4 severe episodes. It was a horrible year.

Has your BP diagnosis been missed due to another co-occuring illness like PTSD or BPD so the doctor focuses on that illness and doesn't see the BP?

nope.

how well do you think you are managing your disorder? (is their anything you can do more or less of)

I don't manage it too well.

something I can do more of?. probably use coping methods

something I should do less of is negative talk.

do you have many close friends on PC?. (by close friends, I mean you private message them a lot, talk in chat), maybe even met them

Not a lot.

Do you have spring/summer mania coming up?

No. There are no seasons in Miami.

Do you accept your illness?.

yes. I suppose I do.

what was the last thing purchased

Beer and a taxi home

I like that question.

What was the last thing you purchased?

some mint imperial candies.

do you prefer tea or coffee?

Coffee

Do you nap?

Every chance I get!!
What's your best coping skill?

coming on here, I think.

so nice to know i'm not alone

also talking to the samaratans really helps me

can you sing?

Yes I've been in choirs for 32 years

Do you exercise regularly?