Bipolar Check in thread #15

Faltering · Jan 29, 2017, 10:07 AM

Side effects are not so fun. Every morning my hands shake, I feel drowsy, and I fall over. Sometimes I wake up walking like I'm drunk. This morning I leaned down to put my shoes on and fell straight into a wall without warning. Next time I see my pdoc I'm going to tell him these things and hope he won't increase my meds.

bizi · Jan 29, 2017, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I used to take 2 Benadryl, 10mg melatonin and 2 ambien and sleep. Then the new doc cut the ambien in half and I slept from midnight to five. But he's not refilled the script in two weeks. I still take the Benadryl and melatonin but my body just laughs. I've had trouble sleeping my whole life except for a few years when I was a teenager. I've taken as much as 5 Benadryl but not sure how much more than that I can take safely. Not sure about the melatonin either.

2 different sites listed from a google search said you could take up to 20mg of melatonin safely.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Moose72 · Jan 29, 2017, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

2 different sites listed from a google search said you could take up to 20mg of melatonin safely.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Thanks bizi. Good to know!

Wild Coyote · Jan 29, 2017, 12:42 PM

Trying to fight a paralyzing depression in addition to going through med trials for treating painful autoimmune conditions.

Love to all!

WC

bizi · Jan 29, 2017, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Trying to fight a paralyzing depression in addition to going through med trials for treating painful autoimmune conditions.

Love to all!

WC

I am so sorry, depression hurts.
(((((HUGS))))
have you tried cymbalta?
bizi

Jan 29, 2017, 02:10 PM

Awwww, WC

that is a terrible combination to be tackling at the same time! I hope there is relief for you soon on either, or better yet, both!

Scratch the "hypo may have mellowed a notch" thought from yesterday. Still in the sky. This hypo is rather strange in one aspect. In sleep, of all things! I'm not necessarily sleeping less. (My "normal" sleep can often be 5 hours or fewer.), but waking up? I'm ready to GO! THAT is most definitely NOT usual (outside of hypo). Yesterday, I washed the dishes before it was even 8 am(!!) There weren't a ton, but that's not the point.

Rearranged the living room last night. There is just a chair, so we're not talking furniture so much as clutter (mostly BF's). But the chair is now available for use, so I rigged up a light and tried to read. Too distractible to get far, but that's ok. Started a new sewing project. There are QUITE a few behind it and a couple already done. Lest you think maybe this is just plain old "getting stuff done", it might be worth mentioning -- to put this activity in proper contex -- that I don't have a sewing machine. Lol.

Oh. And forgot to mention yesterday that I was 100% honest at the intake yesterday. There's one thing I was tempted to skip, but my trust was rewarded. Thank you, lady, for putting a nice checkmark in a column that desperately needs them. A win against my trust, fear, paranoia, and generally dim view of humanity issues.

Hugs to all and much

I'd give you all a portion of this if I could, I really would. So refreshing. Maybe I should skip the project I have laid out and work on a magic wand instead!

(Wouldn't that be SO cool??!!!)

Gabyunbound · Jan 29, 2017, 03:00 PM

On Thursday I had the commute from hell (the route I was supposed to take was closed as well as the alternate route, so it took me over 3 hours to get home), and then I got home to find that my kitty, who has a pancreatic tumor, had thrown up some 10 times.

I took her to the vet the next day, they gave her fluids, antinausea med and pain killer. I've been taking special care of her since. The vet said that she may not be 'with us' in 6 months, what my regular vet said a couple of months ago, because of her tumor.

I've been missing work because of my kitty and being flooded in this condo complex. Work itself has been very stressful.

I wonder, sometimes, how much stress it will take for me to blow and sink into a depression or fly into hypo/mania. I just don't know. I worry about it.

I have a lot I need to do before going back to work on Wednesday (I work partime and am grateful for this, though because I have Obamacare and due to financial reasons, I need to find a full time job and I haven't been able to), but I feel tremendously anxious and paralyzed.

What will/would it take for me to fall off the edge? I've been stable for so long I've had a hard time remembering what it was like to not be stable. But now I'm afraid. I'm afraid for my poor kitty as well. All I can do is do my best to take care of her. When I go back to work, though, I won't be here much because of my long commute. I hate to leave her alone, I worry, and will more than ever after this episode of what was probably pancreatitis.

What will it take to fall off the edge? I try not to worry. I'm scared.

Moose72 · Jan 29, 2017, 04:01 PM

Ive been home a few hours. Doing dishes laundry and took trash out. Watched Treehouse Masters. Hungry now. Going to dinner with my son and friend. Will be nice. But hard cutting down on carbs.

Unrigged64072835 · Jan 29, 2017, 04:37 PM

Back is feeling better--didn't bend as much yesterday. Posted a lot of poetry to my Wordpress site. Wrote a couple more. My daughter is following along, doing a drawing a day. I don't know if she's posting hers or not. Whatever, it's keeping us going.

Making tacos tonight. Something quick and easy, that everyone enjoys.

Mood has stayed stable, although having to calm my husband down took a bit of it.

hopeless2015 · Jan 29, 2017, 06:03 PM

Recovering from bronchitis and starting to feel better, just very very tired

Nammu · Jan 29, 2017, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

2 different sites listed from a google search said you could take up to 20mg of melatonin safely.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Thanks for this...so I can double my melatonin! Yay.

Moose72 · Jan 29, 2017, 06:47 PM

I'm back to watching Treehouse Masters. Love this show. My daughter is home. I need to take a shower and do laundry, though. Should do it sooner than later.

Daonnachd · Jan 29, 2017, 06:50 PM

ECT tomorrow. It always makes me anxious.

Moose72 · Jan 29, 2017, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vertigo

ECT tomorrow. It always makes me anxious.

Maybe it will be different this time. Nothing says it has to be exactly the same. {{{hugs}}}

Moose72 · Jan 29, 2017, 07:44 PM

I bit the bullet and took a shower, dried my hair, put my pjs on and started some laundry. More cleaning tomorrow. I'll do a little at a time- that 1,2,3 idea that someone posted here is a good idea. Otherwise, I feel so overwhelmed.

bizi · Jan 29, 2017, 07:53 PM

my house is dirty, especially my bath room...sigh
I am so lame.
bizi

Moose72 · Jan 29, 2017, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

my house is dirty, especially my bath room...sigh
I am so lame.
bizi

Mine is dirty too. Need to wipe down the bathrooms and straighten... The laundry is clean but not put away. The garbage is bagged up but not thrown out yet. Little bit day by day.

xRavenx · Jan 29, 2017, 10:56 PM

I was looking forward to going on a weekend trip with someone, but a family emergency came up for him, so he had to cancel. I've been on the manic side lately, although not full-blown. It's hard to control the racing (and intrusive) thoughts though. Later in the day, my ex calls, demanding all these explanations involving our relationship. We hadn't talked in over a month. That was the last thing I was in the mood for. I am not going back with him, but it made me especially emotional. At least I have therapy tomorrow.

bizi · Jan 30, 2017, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I was looking forward to going on a weekend trip with someone, but a family emergency came up for him, so he had to cancel. I've been on the manic side lately, although not full-blown. It's hard to control the racing (and intrusive) thoughts though. Later in the day, my ex calls, demanding all these explanations involving our relationship. We hadn't talked in over a month. That was the last thing I was in the mood for. I am not going back with him, but it made me especially emotional. At least I have therapy tomorrow.

I hope you have a good and therapeutic session tomorrow.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Jan 30, 2017, 04:31 AM

so I didn't post to this thread yesterday (never mind, I thought I did)
feeling depressed today because it is my birthday.

aside from christmas, this for me is the worst time of year- gives me plenty of oppotunity to think back over the last year and realise how much of it was wasted, howm uch I didn't do, and how bad I feel in myself.

ah well. I am going to have a chinese later (I hope), and that should be nice

bizi · Jan 30, 2017, 08:43 AM

Try to look at the posibility of the future.january is a new month a new year a new range of possibilities. try something new.
try is the word for today.
happiness is a decision.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

rwwff · Jan 30, 2017, 10:29 AM

Heading to my first followup appointment with my first psychiatrist in a few minutes. Hoping real hard I'll not just say, "all better! kthxbye!"

hopeless2015 · Jan 30, 2017, 12:07 PM

Didn't sleep well last night, I think I forgot to take my nite time meds to. I wanted to cry when the alarm went off this morning! Anyhow working my way through this day, I'm just very tired and a little grouchy