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#326
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Sex and coffee in the morning! Great way to start the day!
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() bizi, Coconutzo
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#327
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Quote:
bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
#328
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I'm at Panera with my friend but feeling tired. Thinking of going home and going to bed early so I can be up early to go to church choir/church. I can't miss this week because I'm taking next week off; a friend is coming into town and we are spending the weekend together.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() bizi
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![]() bizi
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#329
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I've come to the conclusion that I should be gentle with myself. Last week was the first week back at work, and I struggled the entire time. I was so mad at myself last night for not getting any more work done since what I was working on should've been "easy". But then a friend told me her perspective of looking as if I was out of shape and I just needed to work back up to the level I was at before. So I should give myself some credit for making it through the week, albeit not well as I would've liked.
Today started out as another lazy day, but after my afternoon nap I noticed it had snowed some more and I decided to get out there and shovel my driveway before it froze. Now it's time to make some brownies!! |
![]() Anonymous45023, bizi
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![]() bizi, Nammu
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#330
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regina, she sounds like a good friend!
(((((HUGS))))) bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
![]() gina_re
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![]() gina_re
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#331
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Feeling mostly ok today. Hoping anxiety will stay away this evening. It's gotten old.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Wild Coyote
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#332
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Feeling antsy.....I quit the lamictal, it felt like a straightjacket on my emotions. I was so blunted but I didn't really notice till I moved here and was around others 24/7. When I met the new pdoc the other day he was reserved about my quitting it. Been on it for three yrs ...have had three yrs of stability.......but I want to be able to express my emotions around other people too, not just stand there like a door. I quit slowly I cut the pill in half, took a whole one every other day and a half the other days, then went to a half everyday then a half every other day.....here's to hoping.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, fishin fool, Wild Coyote
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![]() bizi
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#333
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Quote:
what about trying half a dose of the lamictal? bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
![]() Wild Coyote
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#334
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I'm still taking everything else.
Latuda Ambien Propranolol
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous59125, bizi, Wild Coyote
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![]() bizi
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#335
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Hey I'm here but I hurt tonight
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I traded it in for a whole 'nother world A pirate flag and an island girl |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, gina_re, JustJace2u, Nammu, Wild Coyote
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![]() Coconutzo
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#336
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A lot of stuff is going on in my life and it's all very difficult. Situational depression is still in effect. Wishing it would ALL just end but not in a dangerous frame of mind. Trying to maintain a bit of hope that things will get better and that everything that is happening now will become a distant memory and learning experience. I've been recently forced to make decisions I'm very uncertain about and I can only hope I'm doing the right thing. Im using my heart, mind and advise of those I trust. Staying sane in an insane time for the most part. Trying to hold it together and not fall into the abyss which feels just within reach sadly. But I'm hanging in there all things considered.
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![]() Anonymous45023, gina_re, Nammu, Wild Coyote
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#337
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Quote:
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() WC |
![]() bizi
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![]() bizi
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#338
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despite me saying that i'm going to give up reading, I found another rebecca shaw and I just gotta try and read it.
(I love rebecca shaw, not as much as daniele steel, but I love rebecca shaw) 1 of my friends I email with is back from vacation today, so totally going to ask her how it all went and if she enjoyed it (wouldn't you know it, she has MI too). I struggle to connect with anyione without any MI issues (it's like trying to connect with an alien from an unknown planet, I just can't seem to talk to them) I feel pretty good for a sunday |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Nammu
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#339
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working today...sitting here thinking that I should take a shower.....
sigh why is it so hard to get in there?????? It is cold and a hot shower would feel good. am working today too. Then all next week. worked yesterday but love my job so it is all good. bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
![]() Nammu, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#340
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Falling back into my 'trap'. Here it is, a Sunday, and I'm at the office working on a day off. This is the kind of thing that gets me into trouble and I slowly start feeling SIs coming on. Why do I do this to myself? UGH!!!
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Dx: BP2 and MDD Current meds: 100mg Wellbutrin; 200mg Lamictal; 400mg Seroquel at night; Xanax 1mg/PRN; 100mg/PRN Trazodone at night for insomnia Diagnosed in May 2016 |
![]() gina_re, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#341
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I went to church with my youngest son and my ex. Went well. We are all in the choir. Having lunch out with son. Not sticking to my diet. I see Pdoc once I've been on Rexulti a month. Good time to check in! I love my Pdoc. She answers my questions and explains things so I can understand. Even when she denies me things- like benzos- it's in a nice way.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() JustJace2u
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#342
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I can't catch a break lately. Anxiety is very high. I'm afraid of going to my Psychiatrist tomorrow, because I feel all within one week, my moods are all over the place, so it's hard for me to generally summarize how I've been feeling. I am tired of my medication always having to be looked at and adjusted. Some of the meds might be helping a little It's hard to know if Lamictal is doing anything. I love it's appeal that it gives me no side effects and want to think it's doing something, but I'm on the max dose, and I often feel like I'm just taking candy. I wonder what stability looks like.. It feels like so long, that I just kind of forgot. I don't know how I'm 'supposed' to feel.
I'm just kind of all over the place lately. It's hard to stop worrying about random things. I break down over the little things and feel my chest hurting because of anxiety. I just need to get a grip on things, but don't know where to begin. Sorry, just had to vent. |
![]() Anonymous45023, gina_re, JustJace2u, Nammu, Wild Coyote
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#343
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Slept all day.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
#344
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I slept all day to. Husband is cooking supper, I feel like an *** for not doing anything today!
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Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() Icare dixit
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#345
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Made a pizza. Took two naps. Did a little bit of work. Feel like a fat failure. Oh, I also took a shower. I just have lots of work to get to and I don't feel like doing any of it.
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"I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers which can't be questioned." --Richard Feynman |
![]() Anonymous45023
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#346
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Been playing around with my camera. Trying to get the autofocus to work properly. Also cleaned the kitchen a little bit.
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#347
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I'm waiting to leave Panera then go get my middle kid. I want to be in bed now but if I'd stayed home I'd still be in bed asleep since 2. As it was I slept till 4.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
#348
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I'm about to get a new therapist after my old one made fun of schizophrenic patients, and, when I talked about my room being messy, he said he needs his room clean to masturbate.
![]() But he kinda sucked anyways. He wasn't very understanding. This time I chose a therapist who specializes in everything I want. I'm not sure if she has room for more clients, but I'm hoping she does. I'll find out by Wednesday if she can accommodate me. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Unrigged64072835, xRavenx
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#349
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I just had my pdoc visit and see my therapist later. We discussed so many different options. I prefer add-ons rather than taking away things completely, out of fear. She suggested possibly eliminating Lamictal all together and starting fresh with almost all different meds, which had me panicking since I've been on it for so long, and the taper down would take forever from the current 400 mg. Plus, only time would tell if doing that would be the right decision.
She's giving the Lamictal a last shot in the next week, adding Gabapentin, and slightly increasing Seroquel. My mind was spinning with all her different ideas though, and it's hard already that one of my main issues, aside from rapid cycling mania is mixed anxiety! I'm praying her moderate changes are going to work, so it won't come to all these drastic changes that may not even work anyway. I feel like I'm one big experiment and don't want everything to change around! I'd like to think to an extent, I have some ability to cope. |
![]() avlady, gina_re
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#350
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I actually cooked dinner last night (rather than just heating something up)! So I'm eating the leftovers now for lunch at work. Had a refresher training with my boss this morning. I asked if I was doing ok and if there is anything I needed to work on. He confirmed that I was doing ok. I'm right were he expected me to be considering I've been out so long and have switched to the other database. I feel so much better now. That means that I'm going to have to be increasing my productivity soon (i.e. next week). But I don't get paid to just sit around and look pretty all day. Bring it on!!
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![]() Anonymous45023, avlady
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![]() xRavenx
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