As I Stabilize

As I stabilize, I'm realizing a few things. One of the things I'm realizing is the fact that I've never allowed myself to grieve the loss of my friend I lost back in August. I've also noticed that I began to deal with more rapid cycling soon after (not sure if that's coincidence or not). It's like I'm being put in a spot where I have to finally grieve. I guess it's a good thing, but I'm realizing how much it's still hurting me. ****, it hurts.

Just needed to get that off my chest a bit. I'll add a trigger icon because I don't want to bring someone down thinking this post will be light.

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It is understandable that you are only able to begin processing it now you are stable. Let yourself grieve and be kind and gentle to yourself. It will take time to deal with such a deep loss. I am glad to hear you are stabilising and I hope that continues. I have found for myself that there are many things I cannot process until I am stable so it is a common experience. Do you have a T you can talk to about this. Talking will help. We are all here for you too. Post as much as you need.

Grieving can complicate the healing process. But I think it's also part of healing.
Reading books or listening to audiobooks of stuff like " Chicken Soup for the Soul",will fill you with hope.

I agree. Grieving is definitely part of the healing process.

I'm sorry you're going through this, though. I know that losing someone doesn't always hit you right away, and it hurts a lot when it does hit.

Please be kind to yourself during this difficult time.

I'm happy for you that you are getting stable. I too find that I put things on the back burner when I'm to up or too down. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks when I get stable. Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way and take good care of yourself

Thanks everyone. Yeah, Wander, I do have a therapist and I just started talking about it with him. He was a bit concerned during our meeting yesterday and set up an appointment for next Monday (even though he wasn't taking clients next week). He also told me to call him whenever I needed to talk. I'm not sure why he's worried about me more than the other clients he has, but I'll take it as a sign that I might need the extra help right now. I'll check out that book Ocean Swimmer; thanks for the recommendation.