Safety

I dont know what to do i am not feeling safe right now partly because i keep dissociating and when that happens i often self harm but also i really really dont feel good i am trying so hard but this has been going on for weeks i went to the hospital yesterday and they sent me home because of beds. now i feel like that was a sign that i am not meant to be here anymore. that and i am convinced there is an evil entity stalking me i dont see my pdoc for 2 more weeks i dont know what to do i think i have reached the end of the road i have run out of options.

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Please call a hot line if you are feeling unsafe. go back to the hospital, have some one go with you to be an advocate for you.
I am sorry you are so unstable and unwell.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

i dont have anyone to take me there and i already tried a hotline i really am out of options i want to scream everything hurts so much inside i cant take this i am so sorry i am bothering everyone again i have ruined everything completely this is all my fault i am sorry.

take a shower, feel the warm water envelope you.
Make some hot tea.
try to soothe yourself.
If you are alone ask some one to come stay with you. If there is some one there ask them to give you a hug.
Hug yourself, it feels good.
Journal get things down on paper.
Write a letter then burn it up.

Do you have pets?
petting an animal can be very therapuetic.
You have been dealing with this pain for so long what has worked for you. How do you cope?
((((HUGS))))
I am heading to bed now.
bizi

i have fish i have not been coping i dont know what i have been doing but coping isnt it.

it is getting worse i am really agitated right now.

I am so sorry you feel like this and can relate as I feel v like this now as well.the fact that you have tried reaching out is good it means there is still a part of u that is trying to fight this ,I think you should go back to the hospital and try again make them understand how much you need help even if mo bed is available ,is there other help available?. good luck,keep us posted.

The hospital sent you home for what could be various reasons (budget cuts, bed shortages, incompetant staff or a communication breakdown etc) but it is definitely not a sign you should give up. Your life is worth fighting for so keep fighting. With the dissociation try to ground yourself in reality. Have you heard of the five sights, sounds, touch etc? I find it helpful when I dissociate. Focus on locating five things around you for each sense and try to experience each one. This helps ground you in the present reality.

The stress you are under must be overwhelming so you are going to have to pull out all the self-care, CBT, DBT, mindfulness etc skills you know and put them to practice. Fight against the strong urge to give up and stop trying. You can do this. The key is to do no harm to yourself and stay alive until help arrives or the episode passes.

If you get to that point where you are planning to end your life please call 911 and be abundantly clear of your intentions. Stating plan and intent should get you a bed somewhere. I would be horrified if it didn't. Keep trying to get help, keep fighting. This will pass.

yes i have been trying the 5 senses thing it isnt working very well though nothing seems to be working i feel like i am about to snap i keep getting thoughts that someone is trying to poison me too i keep trying to think no this is my mind playing tricks on me but sometimes i really believe it. i keep getting very scared about what i dont know but i feel the need to hide a lot maybe from the thing that is stalking me i really dont feel good i want to cry.

Hi Flutterby 11,
The goal is to get thru this crisis. First, you need to SURF the emotions and thoughts. This means to sit with them, resisting any urges to action. Yes, you are in tough spot and most all of us can relate to everything you are thinking and feeling, it's all ****** lol, but this will pass. If you haven't taken a shower yet, do it. It will ground you and take you out of your head for awhile. Then, try to sleep. Sleep often helps to reset our brain. If you are still in immediate crisis, then we all want you to march yourself back to the hospital and tell them you are definitely in danger of hurting yourself, suicidal, and plant yourself in the ER until they have a bed for you.

I am trying. I will let you know how it goes.

Well had the shower and still feel terrible can't seem to get to sleep though.

Hi Flutterby 11.

Think of your attacks` like being a traffic light!!

`GREEN` means` `GO/PASS` you have already passed!

`ORANGE` means` `WARNING/GET READY` identify what triggers` your attacks`?

`RED` means` `STOP/STOP` think of a `POSITIVE BLOCKER` to like, (laying on your bed with eyes` closed and visualising a place where you have been before and made you ever so happy!) or (Listening to soothing ambient music!) or (Who would look after your fish, if your not there?) this then will distract you from your attack and hopefully calm you down to a certain degree!!

It works` for me `NOW` as i only recently learned these technics` from my therapist.

Hope this helps`...............Take care

`Sorry Flutterby 11`

This technic is called (CBT) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Take care

When I deal with my hallucination and/or entity; I often use a stim toy to ground myself. The repetitive nature of the toy allows me feel a sort of control over something. As for the dissociating, honestly I just ride those out. I often "wake up" and realize I've self-harmed but the thing is, when I fight it I get closer and closer to a full melt down and will likely self-harm anyway. When I get like this, I play music all of the time, keep my hands focused on stimming and keep distracted by activities that have been known to relieve my anxiety (for me it's playing my keyboard piano).

Just gotta take it day by day. Hour by hour and minute by minute. Hell, get down to seconds if you have to. All you have to do is stay alive. I shouldn't say "all you have to do" because it can seem like an impossible task, but whatever you have to do to achieve it, please do it. I'm sorry you're in so much pain, but screw "signs", screw that mental health worker and screw that damn hospital for turning you away. Screw all of it. You matter here. Always.

I got a few hours sleep but I don't feel any better in some ways I feel worse I can't take this I

Call the hospital and see if they have beds available. If they do, go in.