Do you tell people?

Do you tell people you have bipolar? i dont just mean anyone by the way i mean family and friends and possibly your boss or people like that. if yes did telling them help or make things more difficult?

I have told all my friends as my frequent hospitalisations over the last 7 years kind of give away something serious is going on. Close friends have been supportive but seem be over it and keep their distance when I am unwell. That hurts but I guess they just can't deal with it on an ongoing basis. Being unwell a lot can make any relationship strained. I know my close friends love me but I wish they could be more supportive when I really need it.

Being unwell physically as well also takes its toll as I can't go out with them very often due to exhaustion. I think they have kind of moved on without me. Still, I am glad I told them. I don't think it is the stigma of Bipolar that gets to my friends, it is what it does to me. Some can't comprehend why I keep getting sick and blame my doctors, T and/or me for it. It is frustrating as I have made so much progress it is just that at times I get severe episodes that land me in hospital. I try so hard to be a good friend and ask how they are, offer help and support but I seem to suck at it, or choose the wrong people.

My family on the other hand are very supportive and accepting. My parents have seen my T and old pdoc and accept me as I am. I am thankful for this. My boss knows I have a mental illness and is very supportive too, even though I had about 4 months off work last year while hospitalised. Again, I am very thankful.

You don't have to tell anyone. It is totally up to you how private you want to be. If I hadn't told my friends I think I would be in the same situation as it is difficult to hide so many hospitalisations. I would have to lie so much and I just can't do that. I am starting to make new friends and one in particular is very understanding and supportive.

I guess what I am trying to say is that some people will never get it and will think less of you but others will be extremely supportive and make your life brighter. I took risks telling people but I am not ashamed to have an illness. It does not define me in any way but does impact my life and explain some of my behaviour. If people don't get it I feel it is their loss in destroying our relationship. Telling people at work is a whole different thing. I would be reluctant to tell my boss I have Bipolar due to the stigma, and I would definitely not tell him I have had psychosis. Most people freak right out when you tell them that, again due to stigma. I am trying to be open though as I want to break down that stigma. I have the luxury of being able to tell all on Facebook that I have BP. Many people can't due to certain members of family or friends. It is a personal choice. There is no right answer that suits everyones situation.

thanks for this. it is the lying that gets to me and constantly having to make up excuses for what is going on. it is exhausting.

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hello dear,
I would tell my family for sure and explain them what it is, I would not tell to my boss. I told my friends so they understand me better.
good luck.

I don't work but where i volunteer doesn't know. Maybe one place does but I don't know. As for family they know the name, I take meds for it but that's about it. My mom knows more because I blabbed when manic that I was manic and what that meant. I think she also looked up my pills. We've had many talks on her raising smart, capable daughters that she has to trust i know what i am doing. They don't know about the psychosis. My youngest sister does though both my mom and my sister's believe in shadow people. She knows I view it as a hallucination. None of them know I've been hospitalized 2x for BP/ SZA. They have not always been supportive. My dad use to hide my medicine when I visited. Now it's more like they know but they don't talk about it. There are times I wish I was more open but that would cause pain. My husband is BP also. They know this but they don't accept he can't work.

My best friend knows. He knows about the mood swings, the psychosis, the meds, and the hospitalizations. He's really supportive.

The way I view BP is it's part of me so I don't hide it. I also know the stigma so I don't advertise it. I stay away from conversations that have that topic. I don't volunteer that information as freely as my husband does.

not really.

I told my family, and in short got evicted from the home and abused by them terribly (so big mistake)

it's not all bad news though, when I used to know laura (girl with autism), I told her and she was very understanding- she was actually really good with dealing with the moods.

now, it's sort of like in my script, even though I don't mean it to be

when people ask- so tell me a bit about you?, 1 of the first things I say is... well, i'm bipolar (and list all my other diagnoses)

I think i'm trying to say well, if this happens when we're talking, here's why

Hey. Pretty much I don't tell anyone much of anything. I'm a very private person.

A long time ago when an old pdoc dx me as maybe bp 2 and I was having no luck with any meds working I asked my mom to come to a pdoc appt with me. She is a nurse. Looking back it was probably a bit of an ambush as I didn't warn her of anything ahead of time. But I don't think she really has any idea how bad it can get. After she read a memoir I had left lying around and asked with horror if that was what depression was like for me, I sort of hid any of the scary stuff fRom her. I assume she shared details w my dad but idk for sure. I'm not that close to my siblings.

My best friend knows the most. And she will point out when I seem to be hypomanic and all over the place, or calls me out when i start saying how meds are BS and do nothing every time i start thinking I'm feeling better. But she doesn't totally get that when I am feeling like that i really feel awesome and invincible. When depressed though I hole up and isolate so I don't think she has ever seen me like that. I have talked a little but about sui ideation I had in the past w her, but don't share if I am feeling like that in the present. I try not to bother her too much- I know years ago when I was first depressed I was sort of being too needy and I could see it was draining on her to hang out with me. Funny- she had no idea how fcked up I was until we backpacked thru Europe together while I was in a bad depression episode. I feel sort of bad I didn't warn her better. Ah well. It made us closer!

Work- God no. Never. I wouldn't even feel comfortable with my work friends knowing i had depression. It's just too risky. Nobody wants their little johnny or Suzy taught by someone who is unstable or MI...
If I were in a different field though, I would have liked to do some MI advocacy and anti stigma stuff as I believe in it strongly. But my job makes me have to keep quiet.

I told two close coworkers I'm bipolar when I was hypomanic and of course I regret it....Mistake..I'm a teacher.

Ah... I told my boyfriend, family and a friend. I don't think it's a good idea to disclose it at academic environment, though I already thought about telling my mentors. Maybe if you have an overall supportive relationship with boss/mentor/work peers.

Everyone knows, I've never had to jump out of the proverbial BP closet because I've never bothered climbing in it.

Yes it makes things easier, because I don't have to hide, lie or keep up pretenses.

Tell what?. I've never being one of the normals. There's nothing to say.

I tell everyone. When I found out I had Bipolar one of the first things I did was put it on my facebook like: hey everyone, here's what is going on with me. I'm self employed, but I have no doubt I would tell my boss too or anyone else. My anxiety and bipolar feel like such a big part of who I am right now that I think it would come out even if I tried to contain it.

I'm like this in general though. I talk openly about placing a baby for adoption and my parents dying and all my other stuffs. I march to the beat of my own drum and it works for me. I know many people that hide all their stuff and that works for them. It's whatever makes you happy.

I don't think it's always as simple as tell or don't, whatever works for u. I hate feeling like I am lying about it, but I need my job and I know that it would be career suicide where I work. Oh they would follow the law and make sure thaT isn't why u got fired, but they can find some other reason, or make u miserable enough you want to leave- bad schedule, move u to a new building or multiple buildings, etc. And sadly I think the worst reaction would actually be from certain coworkers.
I know I sound paranoid but if it came out every decision i made would start being questioned. So I choose to keep my mouth shut bc i like my job and think I actually make some sort of difference. But silence and secrecy sucks.
Would I like to not succumb to the fear and stigma- yes. And I think maybe I have gotten TOO good at hiding this crap. Idk. I have no idea how ppl would react except probably with surprise. Sometimes I wish I could just scream it from the rooftops. Maybe life would be easier. But I don't think I can do that with where I am now.
Anyway, it's interesting to hear other pppls experiences with this.

I'm not for telling people at work or your boss. I think you are treated really differently. I used to lie and say I had severe migraines or kidney problems. This shut people up and they didn't seem interested.

My friends and family and some neighbors know I suffer from depression. This is because I've had to cancel on them when I don't feel well. For some reason, people seem to understand depression, but bipolar scares them off.

This is just my experience, not saying anyone else should do this.

Most of my family and close friends know. I don't think they really understand it, though.

I don't need to spill the beans as I live in a town where it is easy to find out some ones past if you really want to, gossip spreads like wild fire. I did some very controversial things like I rollerbladed through the supermarket I worked in thinking no one could see me with my knees and elbows cut to shreds all blooded up. I was like a crazed maniac. Psychosis at its self destructive best.
I wish I could keep my Achilles heel secret, I even tried to move away but I am still here.
I didn't even come out as gay and everyone found out, I had only had a few flings never had a girlfriend yet the whole town found out, I wasn't even ready at the time.
I want to forget there is "something wrong" with me. I want people to treat me as normal so I wouldn't tell anyone up front, only once some body else dredges up my past which always happens

No and don't care to.

At work, they'll use it against me
Friends won't understand
Family will disown me

The only people I tell are professionals... nutritionist, dermatologist, GP, etc etc. I kinda have to tell them anyways since they have to understand which meds, why I'm on them, and what their side effects are

People can tell.

I made the mistake of telling my secret at work, in two different jobs. They did not end well. 'Nuff said.

It was much easier to tell my family and friends, who of course knew something was wrong with me long before I figured it out.