[Sunflower123]

I am really struggling with anxiety and severe depression right now. It's like a bad roller coaster I can't get off of. I'm getting whiplash and I'm tired of fighting this unending battle. I am defeated and hopeless right now. Any encouragement would be appreciated.

[Teddy Bear]

I am surprised that you are struggling. you usually have advice for others. My suggestion is that you use your own best advice on yourself. Hang in there it'll get better ��.

[Naynay99]

Hey Jennifer- I'm sorry you are struggling so much at the moment. As someone who frequently deals with D im not surprised, just saddened, to hear you are currently struggling with it.

I know for me depression can sometimes feel like a soul sucking alien has inhabited my brain and won't leave. The feeling of wanting to give up is part of the depression, as is the exhaustion of feeling like you are trying to walk in quicksand and not making any progress.

I know for myself; none of the helpful advice or positive attitude I may have for myself or others when well really helps me much when I am deep in it. It is a negative feedback loop and can be so hard to picture that I won't always feel like that. But it never does last forever, and just knowing that gives me a small bit of hope to hold onto.

You are not alone, and wont feel like this forever. Idk if that helps at all. When all else fails I keep fighting out of spite.
Hang in there. Hugs.

[treevoice]

"...One day I was walking along Tinker Creek thinking of nothing at all and I saw the tree with the lights in it. I saw the backyard cedar where the mourning doves roost charged and transfigured, each cell buzzing with flame. I stood on the grass with the lights in it, grass that was wholly fire, utterly focused and utterly dreamed. It was less like seeing than like being for the first time seen, knocked breathless by a powerful glance. The lights of the fire abated, but I'm still spending the power. Gradually the lights went out in the cedars, the colors died, the cells unflamed and disappeared. I was still ringing. I had my whole life been a bell, and never knew it until at that moment I was lifted and struck. I have since only rarely seen the tree with the lights in it. The vision comes and goes, mostly goes, but I live for it, for the moment when the mountains open up and a new light roars..."

If I had any idea how to get off the rollercoaster, I probably wouldn't be here. I only survive by living from one moment of clarity to the next - sometimes they're few and far between, other times they are more frequent. In my humble experience, taking time to have gratitude for self awareness, and more importantly, awareness of the world unfolding around you, can be the best medicine to disengaging from those inner dramas. I've seen your posts around and it seems you have a great mind and a kind heart and that is precious - take whatever time you can to love on yourself for that, and forgive yourself for the rest. Wishing you love, rest, and healing. <3

[the quote is Annie Dillard - Pilgrim at Tinker Creek]

[markmcc21]

Hang in there! This will pass even thought it might not seem like it right now.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear

I am surprised that you are struggling. you usually have advice for others. My suggestion is that you use your own best advice on yourself. Hang in there it'll get better ��.

I know it's surprising. As much as I try to encourage and support others I still struggle from time to time myself.

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I try to encourage and support others I still struggle from time to time myself.

it's ok to be human ... no one has all the answers all the time ... be gentle to yourself ... try real hard to find one thing to focus on ... take that small step and try to enjoy it ... use it to reach that happy spot that is pushed down so far ... sometimes just a little step up is a start ... it will take time and we all slip back but you are loved here and have many friends who care and are concerned about you ... never forget that ... it's not just you ... it is a multitude here pulling for you ... if it ever gets too bad ... please reach out ... don't try to fight this alone ... your friend ... in love ... Tigger .

[x_blessed]

Hang in there Jennifer 1967 !!! Don't give up hope, you're so strong, you got this!!! We are all here for you!

[franz kafka]

Hang in there. Depression always ends. There are better days ahead. Until then, be kind to yourself. Much support!

[Leia78]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. Remember, depression always lies to us and tells us things to make us feel worse. You're a good person and always offering support to others. Keep fighting, don't give up. I know it's tiresome and the struggle seems never ending but you make a difference to so many people. The depression is cyclical so you will eventually cycle out. Hold on and again, keep fighting, keep posting here and reaching out. I hope the darkness lifts soon. Feel better!

[liveforsummer]

The love and support expressed in this thread for you Jennifer is beautiful and heart warming. You are definitely a very supportive and caring person and I only hope we can give you enough support to help you through this dark time. TONS OF HUGS

[Victoria'smom]

Hopefully things start looking up.

[Unrigged64072835]

Sometimes just living minute by minute is the best one can do. (((((Jennifer)))))

[bioChE]

Jennifer, take heart in the fact that you are a wonderful support for so many struggling on this forum. The depression you're feeling is real, but the things you are feeling badly about are not as bad as your mind is telling you.

Sending you warm thoughts and my prayers that you will feel better soon. Hopefully you get a chance to float in the pool tomorrow.

[Guiness187055]

Hang in there Jennifer. I truly enjoy your positive posts. I am sure you have helped many like you have helped me.

[*Laurie*]

Hi Jennifer, has anything happened recently that is causing you to feel more depressed and anxious?

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

Hi Jennifer, has anything happened recently that is causing you to feel more depressed and anxious?

No, there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. It's very frustrating.

[xRavenx]

Jennifer- I am so sorry you're going through a hard time. You've been so helpful to all here at PC, and I also understand the flip side where anyone can struggle....even when one has the ability to help others. I actually work in a helping profession, and I struggle a lot, but I digress. I hope you understand what I am trying to convey, since I'm not always good at explaining myself. You're a really kind person. Be kind to yourself please! Also, please continue to write here whenever you feel the need. We're here to support you.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

The good thing about bipolar is it always changes. Hopefully you'll feel better soon. I'm sorry it is hard now.

[Wander]

Hang in there. Depression always passes but I know it is hell to go through. You are loved and supported here. Is there anything else your T and/or pdoc can do for you, or have you tried everything?

[halus1]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I am really struggling with anxiety and severe depression right now. It's like a bad roller coaster I can't get off of. I'm getting whiplash and I'm tired of fighting this unending battle. I am defeated and hopeless right now. Any encouragement would be appreciated.

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time Jennifer - I've struggled with anxiety throughout my life too. Just know that you're not alone.

I get tired of fighting it all too - but then I usually wake up the next day feeling a bit better.

I hope you're feeling a bit happier soon.

Damn, sorry to hear that! Depression is always tough.

I think you're a wonderful, supportive person and I agree with Beyondtherainbow that bipolar always changes.

Definitely feel free to let it all out here if you want. I know I always feel better when I write here. Lots of supportive people etc

Alsoooo... make sure to take care of yourself! I love going for walks, bike riding, kayaking, etc . I usually drag my feet, but I'm always grateful when I do any of those things. Nothing is better than fresh air! And when I can't distract myself well enough, I go to the mall or something. Social-ness helps me too

[hopeless2015]

Sending hugs!! Know we are all here for yoy.

[Fuzzybear]

[Fuzzybear]

Good post, thanks for this..

From another who is fighting this Beast of Depression

Originally Posted by Naynay99

Hey Jennifer- I'm sorry you are struggling so much at the moment. As someone who frequently deals with D im not surprised, just saddened, to hear you are currently struggling with it.

I know for me depression can sometimes feel like a soul sucking alien has inhabited my brain and won't leave. The feeling of wanting to give up is part of the depression, as is the exhaustion of feeling like you are trying to walk in quicksand and not making any progress.

I know for myself; none of the helpful advice or positive attitude I may have for myself or others when well really helps me much when I am deep in it. It is a negative feedback loop and can be so hard to picture that I won't always feel like that. But it never does last forever, and just knowing that gives me a small bit of hope to hold onto.

You are not alone, and wont feel like this forever. Idk if that helps at all. When all else fails I keep fighting out of spite.
Hang in there. Hugs.