[boogiesmash]

My depression or major depression was kicked off by an event. A person I considered a friend, but had a falling out prior to this incident, involved me in a sexual harassment complaint at work. It was a downhill cycle that caused me my dream job, some friends, isolation and a suicide attempt. This was five years ago and I still think of it.

How do I get pass this and live in the present, in the future without thinking of this. It is a constant trigger to my depression.

[Nammu]

That's tough. A big life changing event like that would be hard to forget.

[Teddy Bear]

I try to think of the future.

[wildflowerchild25]

Have you ever done mindfulness training? It's supposed to be helpful for trauma like this.

[fishin fool]

I am in the same boat as far as not being able to forget a few things from the past.
I wish I knew how to answer this for you. I find that my therapist is very helpful
but sooner or later it all creeps back into my head. Just try and be in the present
and do things you love that make you happy.

[xRavenx]

I can relate SO much to this. I wish there was an easier, more straightforward answer. Therapy has helped in the past, although I can no longer afford it. On occasion, I'll look on youtube for mindful meditation and general self-help videos to help me stay more positive about the future. With certain things, the main thing that has helped has been just giving it time and trying to have some patience. I am not a very patient person though. I empathize completely that this is a really difficult issue.

[Espurr1989]

I don't know that you should stop thinking about it...definitely don't try to make yourself stop thinking about it if you can't help it from coming into your head as that will most likely have the opposite effect.

To me, it sounds like you still have something inside of you that needs to work its way out. You seem to still be in a lot of pain over what happened. Did you ever have a chance to tell that person what their actions did to you? Even if you never get to say it to them, writing a letter and putting every bit of emotion that it stirs up into your writing could help. Yeah, it might be triggering and you'll probably feel a bit hung over afterward for a while, but the point is to get all of that out of you internally and down onto the piece of paper. And if you need someone to hear it, we are all here for you.

If you aren't much of a writer, the "Draw Your Scar" exercise could be good. Draw what it looks like and where it would be on your body. It helps seeing mental injuries as physical ones for some reason. And seeing it physically could be what you need to initiate the next step in the healing process.

Just my two cents. These could work, or they could make things worse. Just something to maybe try, I guess.

[Sunflower123]

I agree with Espurr. Good luck. Instead of fighting or resisting, what if you acknowledged those thoughts and feelings as they come up, accept them and let them pass away? Eventually I think you'll come to a place where you aren't ruminating about it. A therapist would also be helpful in fighting this.

[Sassandclass]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

My depression or major depression was kicked off by an event. A person I considered a friend, but had a falling out prior to this incident, involved me in a sexual harassment complaint at work. It was a downhill cycle that caused me my dream job, some friends, isolation and a suicide attempt. This was five years ago and I still think of it.


How do I get pass this and live in the present, in the future without thinking of this. It is a constant trigger to my depression.

Thank you for expressing yourself here I can understand how that would be a trigger. I'm here to offer support if you'd like it. Anxiety makes us feel all alone, but know that you aren't. This seems like something you'd benefit from talking about in hopes of letting it go, and finally getting peace in your life.

I agree with Espurr and Jennifer.

One of the hardest things to do is accept what happened, especially when none of it was your fault, but I think acceptance must be done in order to start the healing process.

I would actually consider it trauma, so EMDR therapy might help if you're interested in pursuing that route.

[Guiness187055]

I have this problem and it adds to my depression. I try to stay in the present but does not always work.

[JanusunaJ]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

My depression or major depression was kicked off by an event. A person I considered a friend, but had a falling out prior to this incident, involved me in a sexual harassment complaint at work. It was a downhill cycle that caused me my dream job, some friends, isolation and a suicide attempt. This was five years ago and I still think of it.

How do I get pass this and live in the present, in the future without thinking of this. It is a constant trigger to my depression.

I'm sorry that you had to experience that. The end of a friendship can be a very tough thing to handle. Especially if it involves the loss of so many other things outside of that friendship.

I've experienced something similar. An event precipitated a psychological collapse followed by friends jumping ship. The entire series of events is something that still invades my thought to this day. It's been spread out over seven years for me.

I sometimes wonder if there was a realistic treatment a la Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind if I would pursue it. It's a hypothetical not yet possible, but I fluctuate between "yes, I would remove the memory of that(those) person(s) or event(s)" and "no, it's bittersweet, but no."

[Unrigged64072835]

I have a lot of things in my past that still make me cringe when I think of them, especially when I'm trying to sleep. Mindfulness helps, but so does acknowledging the memories and let them go on their way.

I'm sorry that you had to go through that though. I hope the ex-friend is out of your life for good.

[KristenRenee]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

My depression or major depression was kicked off by an event. A person I considered a friend, but had a falling out prior to this incident, involved me in a sexual harassment complaint at work. It was a downhill cycle that caused me my dream job, some friends, isolation and a suicide attempt. This was five years ago and I still think of it.

How do I get pass this and live in the present, in the future without thinking of this. It is a constant trigger to my depression.

Hi there. Boy do I feel you. Most of my life I've been living in the past and it has kept me in major depression. A few months ago, I was finally after all these years put on the right Psych Meds. I'm on Risperidone and Trazodone. Plus I meditate and read inspirational books as well as the bible. I also journal every day, in fact sometimes several times a day. It takes that awful feeling of pain inside you and cuts it down to size when you get things out of your head and down on paper. I hope you can find what works for you. Good luck.