[jmariah001]

Car is out of order. Went to leave last night and it started okay but then it sputtered and stalled out. Wouldn't start again. It might be the catalytic converter. I am waiting on a call back from the mechanic. If it isn't one thing it's another. Hope this won't be too expensive to fix. The car is 13 years old. Would get a new one but can't afford it right now. Oh well, things happen.

[Sunflower123]

Feeling down today for a couple of reasons. I'm reminding myself that even people without depression have off days to and that I'm doing pretty good considering we all expected me to have to go IP when my daughter left. Taking that into consideration, I'm doing well. Just depressed today.

Sending big hugs to everyone struggling today.

[hopeless2015]

Been in bed for 3 days, husband wasn't very nice this morning I know he is disappointed I didn't get up and go to work again. I just don't have it in me. I don't want to be around anyone right now. I'll try to push myself and go tomorrow. I did manage to shower and eat last night. Right now I'm afraid to go back to work, I feel like they all hate me

[SheilaKathy]

Today has been a weird day. I got a call from my social worker, who said we had to do an interview RIGHT THEN. I told her I was AT WORK and could she call back this afternoon, she said no, that is had to be done right then. In other words, she called me at the last minute she could and then even had the nerve to sort of blame it on me, telling me that if I had not gotten this new job, all would have been well with this. She has been against my getting a job all along. I think that is a poor attitude for a Social Worker. They should be supportive of folks becoming more independent and needing them less, not more! I still need her and the services she provides, but at one point she tried to even take everything (all of it) away from me! I still need help, just not as much help as I used to, because of therapy working, new meds helping me more than the old ones and so on. I mean really? Is it not alright for a person's condition to improve by 30% or so, without her thinking that 100% of services should be withdrawn???

[bizi]

sheilakathy,
that is crazy her attitude. I would report her to her supervisor.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[gina_re]

Stuck in bed, as usual. But I have to babysit tomorrow, so that's something to look forward to.

[Daonnachd]

Gina, I hope the babysitting is fun and enlivening for you tomorrow.

I met with my T today, but that's not what's noteworthy. There's a wildfire about three hours to the north of here if driving 70mph on highway 101. The smoke is so bad here that on my way to the therapist, you couldn't see across the Napa Valley, which is only about three miles from ridge to ridge. It's pretty bizarre with all the yellowish light and air you have to chew before you can breathe it. Aside from that, we had a little earthquake this morning. It is California, after all.

Now going back to my therapy session, I told my T that I had noticed multiple instances of negative thought this week. She said, "Good! That means you're aware and can fight it."

Between that and her perspective that dreams can give us glimpses of the body's wisdom, it was a good session. (I should say, it always is.) The tangent about the dream comes from a dream I had last night of being manic and hallucinating.

(Now a celebration. ...or an apology. I've never written this much here before.)

[liveforsummer]

I went for a walk after work and even ran a bit. I used to run 3-4 times a week until this year now it's been 3-4 times in total for 2017. Going to try really hard to get that back on track.

[SheilaKathy]

I got thanked for telling someone off. This friend of mine said that I saved him the trouble of telling off this nasty man who has been hassling both of us, as well as a few others. I also got some support from another person on this and my pastor wants to know if my having done this will stop the man from being so nasty. It will take some time to answer that last question, but I will be watching! (And listening).

[ldymia]

I'm depressed and scared. I try to be strong for my family, but it's so hard. All I want to do is hide, but at the same time I want to feel the comfort of others. It's confusing even to me I can only imagine how it is for those around me.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

Been in bed for 3 days, husband wasn't very nice this morning I know he is disappointed I didn't get up and go to work again. I just don't have it in me. I don't want to be around anyone right now. I'll try to push myself and go tomorrow. I did manage to shower and eat last night. Right now I'm afraid to go back to work, I feel like they all hate me

do you have a therapist to call?
sorry it is so hard right now
(((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[Unrigged64072835]

Don't know what's going on. Been irritable since last night, when I started the corticosteroid creme for my face. I'm only putting on a tiny amount. Does it need to be a lot to have side effects?

Went to a park to take photos, since my husband wanted to get out of the house. It was nice. Otherwise just reading and watching stuff.

Mood is bouncing between being irate, being sad, and being bored.

[Unrigged64072835]

Don't know what's going on. Been irritable since last night, when I started the corticosteroid creme for my face. I'm only putting on a tiny amount. Does it need to be a lot to have side effects?

Went to a park to take photos, since my husband wanted to get out of the house. It was nice. Otherwise just reading and watching stuff.

Mood is bouncing between being irate, being sad, and being bored.

[wildflowerchild25]

I had an ok day. I went to the school and found my classrooms. One co teacher happened to be there so I talked with her for awhile. She seems nice enough. Similar teaching styles. When I got home I just felt like I was going to cry though. I did remember to take depakote in the am so maybe it wore off. I'm feeling ok now, just exhausted.

I'm overwhelmed by the amount of work my grad class is going to take this module. It's really intense. And on top of that, My textbook delivery has been delayed. I don't know when it's going to show up and I need it by tomorrow. I'm going to school online so the physical bookstore is over an hour away. Plus I don't know where it is on campus. And I don't even know if they have the right book. The course listing online was the wrong books. I don't think my professor will be understanding. But I'll have to send her a message and just explain. And take the zeros for the first week.

I'm hoping I can handle all this without breaking from the stress. I'm in a good place right now so it should be ok but I'm just nervous.

Face hurts from wisdom teeth removal.

Left side doesn't hurt at all? That was the most complicated side too! The right is in pain.

Currently just using ibuprofen, but might take Vicodin to sleep if I can't sleep w/ the pain.

Stupid wis-dumb teeth. Hopefully it all ends by day #4. Today is day #1

[liveforsummer]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Face hurts from wisdom teeth removal.

Left side doesn't hurt at all? That was the most complicated side too! The right is in pain.

Currently just using ibuprofen, but might take Vicodin to sleep if I can't sleep w/ the pain.

Stupid wis-dumb teeth. Hopefully it all ends by day #4. Today is day #1

Didn't the dentist give you any pain Med?
Hope you feel better each day!!

[raspberrytorte]

I'm still not smoking. Haven't fallen off the wagon. I still want one, but it's not as bad as it was before. I even have moments where I forget about cigarettes. Hoping I'm quit for good.

[xRavenx]

I haven't been sleeping and feel wired. It's that all familiar manicky feeling of wanting to stay up, because there's too many things going through my head and things that need to be accomplished. I thought there was a problem with my car on the highway today, but luckily, I had it checked out, and it's okay. My cold is getting worse, but I have so many things I need to do. When I was sleeping better, I was having bizarre, unpleasant dreams and reminders of things I'd rather forget, that even more so make me want to stay up and avoid that.

[Lifeischallenging]

So I had a decent day at work, although I had price change and I thought my manager said it went down. He then called me back and yelled at me. It made me feel bad about myself. I mean it happens to the best of us. I corrected it. But I then saw my schedule and that kind of saddened me. I'm doing something I was not hired for.

[liveforsummer]

Went to bed at 11 and got startled awake at midnight. Wide awake now. Feel frightened and unsettled. Mind is racing so took an immovane and waiting for it to work.

Hope everyone sleeps well.

[Pikku Myy]

Hmnnnnn... still here <3

[Wild Coyote]

I'm awake, too.

I've been planning a birthday open house for my mother. A very troubled sister is doing her best to create family turmoil re: the planned gathering.
She does this whenever family hopes to get together for a peaceful, fun time.
She's being confronted by family members this time and she's acting out worse than ever.

She lives 5 miles away and has refused to come by to see her mother for the past 6 years because she's angry we've taken our elderly mom in to live with us. Yet, this sister swears she would never take our mother in, no matter what.

Our mother needs help and gets too lonely and depressed living alone. H and I are the only adult children willing to help her. I have become my sister's target because we help our mother.

It's too much turmoil. There is no reasoning with this sister. She lives as a very bitter, raging active alcoholic. She often shows up to a function and tries to ruin it. She refuses to get any help. Her husband comes with her to functions and acts out, too. They are in their 50's.

She's already making calls, texts, emails to people, calling me vulgar names for my planning a party for our mother. it all seems so insane to me.

I don't need the stress.

I need some sleep.

Thanks for letting me vent.


WC

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I'm still not smoking. Haven't fallen off the wagon. I still want one, but it's not as bad as it was before. I even have moments where I forget about cigarettes. Hoping I'm quit for good.

You're doing great! Quitting smoking is so hard. I went from smoking 5-6 cigarettes a day to 10-12. Trying to cut back down. Down to 6-8. Then I'm going to quit. Don't even enjoy it anymore.

[bpforever1]

I am doing ok but am tired. I feel irritable though. I need to rest. Tomorrow, I have a day off but have to do many chores. So, it technically will be another work day for me. I am trying to maximize my working hours but know I have limitations. I get stressed easily and have to be careful. I am doing ok so far. I like working but need my days of rest too. I need balance in my life. I know I am doing ok but am so tired at times that I just want to shut down and forget it all. I feel this way now and need to sleep. Tomorrow, I hope to feel refreshed.

I have been quite ill.

for the last 2/ 3 weeks, I have had a vomiting bug.

not nice to deal with, not nice at all (especially when you are so hungry!)

mood wise I am hoping things will start picking up.. I mean it's autumn now (my second fave season after winter), and summer is over (the worst time for my MI)

but we'll see.

I am hoping to be okay at least until Christmas (another tough time)