Questions Bipolar Version 3

It's been pretty hot here but is supposed to cool down the next several days. Within normal for summer but a hot summer overall.

Do you have an anxiety disorder and if so which is worse in daily life, bipolar or the anxiety disorder?

I have Social and General anxiety so I'm anxious 99.9% of the time. I stress over the little details. At the moment the anxiety is killing me with Bipolar just under that. I'm under a lot of stress with the family so my anxieties are flying high. Thing is I'm not being issued with a prn I am seeing psychiatrist in 2 weeks so going to ask him. I can't live like this. I can't leave the house for fear of having an anxiety/panic attack. Plus I'm not sleeping cause I'm waking up in a panic. It's ridiculous.

Question: How do you cope with friends who are lying to you? I mean proper lies not white lies?

**** with me once, and you're done for (that's sort of what I live by)

so I just don't have time for them

I tell them where to stick it

but that's the same with anything that's annoying me

question: ever worry that your life means nothing?

yep.

I often wonder if I ever had kids (which I won't), what a bad role model I'd be

in sted of stories of the past I'd be telling them about the times I just sat in my chair doing nothing, or failed to sleep, or was too ill for the hospital... nope.

I'm not an encouraging role model at all.

question: do you like how you look?

I like my hair and hate everything else.

Do you prefer hot weather or cold weather and would that be different without bipolar?

cold weather

and no.. bp makes no diffrence

how many siblings do you have

Two. An older sister and older brother. They are 6.5 and 5.5 years older than me, respectively.

Does anyone else in your family have bipolar disorder?

no.

favorite saying?

I don't have one.

Which med has been the scariest you have tried?

Scariest? It's a toss up between Invega aka paliperidone (a 2nd generation antipsychotic similar to Risperdal aka risperidone) and Navane aka thiothixene (a 1st generation antipsychotic). The former gave me hyperprolactinemia, which causes lactation and cessation of periods in some women. I believe it also caused a pituitary microadenoma (a pituitary tumor). The endocrinologist told me that if it grew much larger I would need to have it removed by surgery through my nose. Luckily I was finally taken off that med, which also contributed to bad weight gain, and six months later a new MRI showed that the tumor had disappeared.

The latter medication, Navane, was not scary at all until one day I felt and saw the weirdest thing. My lips were puckering completely on their own, an involuntary muscle spasm. I called my psychiatrist quickly. He said it was likely a dystonia, a type of EPS (extrapyramidal symptom).

I'm actually not that easy to scare when it comes to medication side effects. I'm pretty tolerant. The scariest experiences I have had relating to my bipolar disorder have been manic episodes with mixed features and psychosis.

What medication (bipolar or other) gave you the most numerous side effects, and how many? List only if you like.

thanks for the new term

"hyperprolactinemia"

I love learning new terms or phrases.

Clozaril. Among others: sedation so I sleep 14 hours per day. Drooling heavily in my sleep and sometimes I will catch drooling starting when tired. Bed wetting and urinary leakage (I'm 42 and wear incontinence products). Inablity to walk around safely once it is in my system. Cognitive issues. Hand tremors.

Yet I love the stuff......

Do you sleep with a light on?

I never use my electric light.

when I say never, litirally never.

it's like it just sits their and looks pretty

(and when I turn it on my room looks like a hospital ward), because of the layout of it

question:

how easy are you to give up?. do you try something until you get it, or give up first time

I don't give up even when it would be wise. We've worked on this a lot in therapy.

Are you an only, first, midle or youngest child?

Oldest. (Well, older of 2).

What is your birthstone?

Emerald. They're beautiful!

What is your prized possession? Or one of, if you'd rather not reveal your most prized.

I have 2
my electric fan and my computer.

the electric fan more because it was given to me by someone who I no longer have contact with (so it holds memories), and the computer because it helps my life- like the agoraphobia and stuff, and enables me to find support here and do other daily activities
question: do you always say what's on your mind?, or do you sometimes hide it to avoid drama/ awkward situations

Always say what I want. "Irregardless".

Family Heirlooms you keep.

My grandmother's rings and sewing table.

What color are your eyes?

Dark brown

Do you see a therapist?

yes.

do you prefer brite or dark colors

Dark!

What kind of shoes are you wearing right now?

Barefoot!

Have you been to a Disney park? Which one?

No.

Have you ever broken a bone?

No, and I hope saying so doesn't hex me.

What is your oddest talent?