[wildflowerchild25]

Feeling a little hyped today but not too energetic so I’m fine. Gonna clean the house since I haven’t cleaned since last week. I’ve been too exhausted from being ill. But I think I’m on the mend now. I hope anyway. I also hope to get my side garden cleared out. But I don’t want to overdo it.

[WildcatVet]

Bored...Bored...BORED! Gotta get out of the house but I don't want to go anywhere. Too depressed...but too agitated to sit still for long. At least my mood's improving...yesterday I was a real *****!!!

[scatterbrained04]

Feel kind of depressed today. I don't know why.

[bpforever1]

So, I went out to eat sushi and had a good time. The chef was funny! But, I don't think anything is going to happen between him and me. But, I will go again soon to eat sushi!! The student who introduced me to the sushi chef was funny too!! I'm thinking why does not she go for him? She is single too. hahahaa What a setup!! Tomorrow, I have to teach again. hahahaha I'm too awake to go to bed but will catch some ZZzzzz's before I crash.

[wildflowerchild25]

I got extremely irritable mid morning. I was disappointed that the guy I’m seeing didn’t want to go out today and I let it get to me. We are going out tomorrow but I felt a bit rejected. I have set myself up with movies and m&ms for tonight so I won’t be too bored. I’m a bit calmer now that I’ve had lunch.

In other news the AFSP out of the darkness suicide prevention walk is tomorrow! It’s supposed to rain so I hope they still hold it. Can’t wait to go out and show my support. I’m glad my brother is coming with me.

[Victoria'smom]

I have convinced myself that my son will hate me when he grows up. I can't seem to deal with the real world. I need ear buds and a small music player so I'm not just sitting on my laptop. I need a life. At least if I wasn't around it would be better then being here and unavailable.

[bpforever1]

I got about three hours of light sleep and need to wake up to teach again this morning. I am going to sleep after I teach though. I will take my medication then too. The class is only for an hour. I will be ok. I am glad I woke up although am tired. I will sleep well after class.

I’m sick w/a really bad ear infection, and the antibiotic is making me nauseous.

I don’t feel anxious today—that is really super, even though I’m not feeling well. I think being sick might actually be what is giving me a little anxiety relief. After all, what can I really do when sick?

Thank you for this thread and a place to talk.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I have convinced myself that my son will hate me when he grows up. I can't seem to deal with the real world. I need ear buds and a small music player so I'm not just sitting on my laptop. I need a life. At least if I wasn't around it would be better then being here and unavailable.

You are being too hard on yourself.

My mother had sooo many problems and an inability to recognize them. I loved her nonetheless and took care of her when she no longer could cope with anything.

I’m sure your son will love you when he grows up. You’re the only mom he’s got.

[Tucson]

I have been watching TV all day. This only included crime shows and crime documentaries. I am getting anxious over my court date coming up on this Tuesday in front of a judge. This is scary to me. When this legal process started, I was was terrified. I lost 40 pounds very quickly over the stress. I hope things will go as best as can be expected.

[Tryingtobehappy5]

I feel great today. Cleaned the house a bit and even took my youngest boy out for a walk, we had so much fun. And I showered, I have mostly been bathing because I dyed my hair green this week(its super awesome) and I dont want it to fade too fast but feels good to have clean hair again. Yesterday was stressful had to get both older boys antibiotics at seperate times so today was a good break from all that.

[VerMOZZica]

I felt so tired all day because I decided not to take my bedtime meds the other day and not getting any sleep.I guess I`m paying the price for it now because I feel exhausted. I did manage to do a little cleaning today though.

Took my meds, my antibiotic, and eating yogurt to counter the antibiotic side effects. I don’t know why I didn’t want to go to bed last night. I stayed up watching a movie, a silly romantic one. My daughter hates that kind of movie, which is why I watched it since she wasn’t there.

I had a flash of anxiety about work, but it is passing.

[wildflowerchild25]

I drank tonight :-( not a good move on my part. But I was so bored. Ugh I guess I need to find something else to do with my boredom. Really can’t be drinking on depakote.

Godammit im bummed. Love sucks. Dating sucks.

[bizi]

I am back. 2,650 miles in 8 days.
On 9-27-17 Girl friend and I Started off in Lafayette, LA
Blue grass festival in Raleigh NC
the Biltmore mansion in ashville NC
Nephew and his Family in Knoxville, TN
Traveled south For her mom in Cleveland, Mississippi
HOt springs Arkansas
Lafayette LA
10-5-17
And we are still friends!
bizi

[Nammu]

That's fantastic, still friends, that's miraculous

[bpforever1]

My student cancelled on me at the last minute. This was good because I was sleepy. I went to sleep and feel fine now. I may get another student soon too. I am doing ok. I don't want to go shopping but have to buy some food. It sucks because the nearest market is far away from here. I will go though because I need to eat. I will be ok. I have my interview in two days though. I will prepare again tomorrow. I will be ready as can be. I will not worry about it too much. Life is tolerable.

yesterday afternoon someone beat me at an online game.

I am very angry when I lose because no one, and I mean no one, beats the ****ing oracle. I am the best at quizzes, and when they do (which is very rarely), I plan my revenge and cause hell for that person.

yesterday night was hell too

kept having visions of my mother standing in the room with me

talking about death and how she'd finally succeeded in taking my life

and then after I spent hours wondering the room and realised she wasn't their I sat down and thought about all sorts of twisted weird science experiments my family would do on me if they had the chance

sometimes it's not enough

you ignore the contact, you distance yourself, but it still isn't enough.

it still messes with you

hmm should probably rest but can't

still feel pretty anxious after yesterday

oh right

and If 1 more person laughs at my situation (real face to face person), I will punch them in the ****ing face so hard, that their screams will be heard as far away as italy.

[bpforever1]

Because I went to bed at four am, and woke up at 7 am. My mind was tired all day, and I needed to sleep the rest of the day. I wanted to go to the market but could not. I was really tired. I want to go back to the sushi bar and have fun again but am thinking it is unwise to not sleep at night. I'd rather sleep at night than suffer from massive somnolence from not sleeping properly. I will not go to the sushi bar again for awhile. I want to rest when I can. My mind was out of it today, not a good sign. I wish I could be like others and do all-nighters then sleep all day. But, my mind is not at peace. I still feel tired after sleeping most of the day. At least, I took my medication this morning which probably made me really tired. I will be ok but at times wish I can have fun at night too. Oh well, I'd rather be stable mentally then have fun at night. Boy, my body is exhausted too. I slept 14 hours the day before and thought it would be ok to sleep less the next day. But, I can't do it. I don't feel any sense of loss. I did not like the cigarette smoke in the bar anyways. It was making me sick. I just want to remain stable.

[Naynay99]

Doing okay I think. Just overwhelmed and tired. Have a lot of chores to catch up with that I have been avoiding and now it all seems like too much. But I am gonna really try to tackle some of them today so I can stop having this weight of them crushing me. I have done them so many times in my head and had intentions of doing them that never materialized. I need some energy and motivation but it seems to be lacking so will try to just suck it up and somehow at least start something.
Have a nice Sunday all.

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by Naynay99

Doing okay I think. Just overwhelmed and tired. Have a lot of chores to catch up with that I have been avoiding and now it all seems like too much. But I am gonna really try to tackle some of them today so I can stop having this weight of them crushing me. I have done them so many times in my head and had intentions of doing them that never materialized. I need some energy and motivation but it seems to be lacking so will try to just suck it up and somehow at least start something.
Have a nice Sunday all.

I am in the same boat today. Plan on tackling them one small bit at a time. Yesterday, I just completely shut down and didn't get off the couch. I wish you luck. You can do it.

[WildcatVet]

Hmmm, maybe an upswing? Feeling a glimmer of hope this a.m. At least my wacky sense of humour has kicked back in...

[Sunflower123]

I’m short on the medicine which is the only thing that helps me sleep at night. I’m short because of my gastric issues (I throw them up and have to take them again). I haven’t slept at all for two days now but feel fine (not sleepy or tired). Insurance will pay for it October 10th so that’s two more days without sleep.

I’ve always questioned my diagnosis because I’ve not (to my knowledge) experienced hypomania or mania. I’d hate to find out the hard way that that’s not true by going 4 days without sleep. Any thoughts or suggestions?

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m short on the medicine which is the only thing that helps me sleep at night. I’m short because of my gastric issues (I throw them up and have to take them again). I haven’t slept at all for two days now but feel fine (not sleepy or tired). Insurance will pay for it October 10th so that’s two more days without sleep.

I’ve always questioned my diagnosis because I’ve not (to my knowledge) experienced hypomania or mania. I’d hate to find out the hard way that that’s not true by going 4 days without sleep. Any thoughts or suggestions?

I take melatonin and valerian root as well as trazadone to sleep. Sometimes I can’t sleep still and then I do sleep meditations from YouTube. There are hundreds to choose from. Maybe that will help?

[bizi]

Friday: Woke up late and met Melissa for brunch at T-Coons. They serve breakfast till 2pm. So I had eggs and smoked sausage which was very lean. And A biscuit with sausage gravy. Oh it was good!
I saw one client on friday evening. Pat who lives out of town in an apartment above his restaurant called "Pats Fishermans Wharf" He is very eccentric, wears only whitey tighties and a white tee shirt. He is in a wheel chair and wears oxygen at night. He flirts with me all of the time. He is 88 years old and has had 5 wives. Is a millionaire and pays me $100 a month to care for his feet and finger nails. He is harmless.
He feeds me a seafood salad that has boiled shrimp, crab and crawfish with tomatoes and cucumbers and an egg.
It is always good. although one shrimp was a little undercooked. and mushy. yuck!
After I got home, my girlfriend and her husband went to hear a band play at the out door music night. In the spring and fall on friday nights they have bands called "Down town live" There were a lot of people there and That was fun.
Had to get uip early, 7am Saturday I worked out of town, new Iberia and saw 6 clients at one assisted living care facility called Garden View.
Very nice.
After that around 3;30pm I went to whole foods for some beer and came home to cook for my girlfriend Susan, who her husband is filing for divorce. Her dad was in town helping her move out of the house.
I had Susan and her dad over for dinner.
I cooked Ground beef and sweet potato swirls with a lentil simmering sauce and a can of black beans. I also served a salad that I got off the salad bar at whole foods. Put lots of different items including, roasted cold brussel sprouts and fennel. They liked it.
Her dad is frail looking/walking because of bothersome varicose veins.
She had hired movers to come move the big pieces of furniture. She told her soon to be ex that she would be out of the house by the end of this month. She has a lot of things in the attic and other things to go thru.
I feel for her.
Divorce is never easy even though this has been a long time in coming. They have both been unhappy for years.
I have a couple loads of laundry to do. Check book and bills to pay. I already cleaned up some cat throw up, fun.
Got caught up on the forums mostly.
Couple cups of coffee down, need to get dressed. Sounds like the storms went east...need to find out how other states are fairing.

Have a good day yall
bizi