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#1
Oct 07, 2017, 10:22 AM
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*They* say I'm sick...Bipolar...but am I just a mean and lazy bad person? I'm such a ***** sometimes and I can't stop it or control it for days. Then I'm so depressed because I feel like I'm just bad and just don't have the energy to even move from the sofa some days. Am I just worthless and useless??
I don't feel like I'll ever be really productive again...couldn't hold down a real job, so thank G*d for the disability check. So what am I? And will it ever get any better?  
__________________
 Bipolar l/Rapid/Mixed/Depression/Anxiety Disorders lamotrigine 100mg 2x/day Vraylar 6mg 1x/day methylphenidate 10mg 3x/day bupropion XL 200mg 2x/day bupropion IR 174mg 1x/day buspirone 30mg 2x/day quetiapine 50mg 1x/day I'm 50 Shades of Bipolar and I have no safe word... |
 Nammu, Sunflower123, Tryingtobehappy5, Wild Coyote
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#2
Oct 07, 2017, 10:24 AM
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I think it's just the BP. Rage can be mania and you could also rapid cycle. I'd like to say it gets better. I'm better sometimes, then something hits me for a day or 2, but now that I'm doing DBT, I'm finding it easier to bounce back because I've learned a lot of coping skills. Now if only I'd do them haha.
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| WildcatVet
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 Tryingtobehappy5, WildcatVet
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#3
Oct 07, 2017, 10:31 AM
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It sounds like hypomania to me...the agitation, anger, racing thoughts, etc. When I'm in the midst of such moods, it seems like they'll never end & I get angry with myself. Perhaps you don't believe it, but it sounds like the BP, which is certainly a dog from hell. BTW, I'm on disability, too, as are many on the boards. I feel guilty about that sometimes, but I know with my mood swings I was unable to hold down a job towards the end of my work career. Don't be quite so hard on yourself...I know, easier said than done.
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| WildcatVet
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| WildcatVet
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#4
Oct 07, 2017, 10:38 AM
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It is the BP. You, are NOT a bad person, nor are you lazy & you are most definitely NOT worthless or useless. I can’t say if it will get better, but have courage & strength. This bout, will pass.
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| WildcatVet
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| WildcatVet
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#5
Oct 07, 2017, 10:50 AM
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I’m sorry you are struggling. It’s the BP. You are not lazy or bad. Hang in there. This is temporary. Sending big hugs.
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| WildcatVet
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| WildcatVet
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#6
Oct 07, 2017, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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| Wild Coyote, WildcatVet
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| WildcatVet
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#7
Oct 07, 2017, 11:41 AM
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I have the same thoughts but I'm ok with being a bad person and having bipolar. I'm not on disability but haven't worked in 3 years either. Not sure if I could manage a job being like this now. My house is a disaster and I rarely do what I'm supposed to for my children because of my "laziness" or "distractedness".
I think these things are very common in bipolar and I know the people here aren't bad people so I try to remember that but its hard sometimes. I hope you feel better about yourself soon
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| Spangle, WildcatVet
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| Spangle, WildcatVet
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#8
Oct 07, 2017, 01:21 PM
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your not a bad person you are unwell and mental health is an illness and you are no way lazy your trying your hardiest to live with your illness that dont make you bad it makes you someone who is trying to survive life
__________________
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| WildcatVet
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| Spangle, WildcatVet
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