Sick or just a bad person...

*They* say I'm sick...Bipolar...but am I just a mean and lazy bad person? I'm such a ***** sometimes and I can't stop it or control it for days. Then I'm so depressed because I feel like I'm just bad and just don't have the energy to even move from the sofa some days. Am I just worthless and useless??
I don't feel like I'll ever be really productive again...couldn't hold down a real job, so thank G*d for the disability check.
So what am I? And will it ever get any better?

I think it's just the BP. Rage can be mania and you could also rapid cycle. I'd like to say it gets better. I'm better sometimes, then something hits me for a day or 2, but now that I'm doing DBT, I'm finding it easier to bounce back because I've learned a lot of coping skills. Now if only I'd do them haha.

It sounds like hypomania to me...the agitation, anger, racing thoughts, etc. When I'm in the midst of such moods, it seems like they'll never end & I get angry with myself. Perhaps you don't believe it, but it sounds like the BP, which is certainly a dog from hell. BTW, I'm on disability, too, as are many on the boards. I feel guilty about that sometimes, but I know with my mood swings I was unable to hold down a job towards the end of my work career. Don't be quite so hard on yourself...I know, easier said than done.

It is the BP. You, are NOT a bad person, nor are you lazy & you are most definitely NOT worthless or useless. I can’t say if it will get better, but have courage & strength. This bout, will pass.

I’m sorry you are struggling. It’s the BP. You are not lazy or bad. Hang in there. This is temporary. Sending big hugs.

Ugh! I HATE it when I get into that mood where I'm a bad, useless, lazy person. It sucks so hard!! That's the illness talking. You are not a bad parson.

I have the same thoughts but I'm ok with being a bad person and having bipolar. I'm not on disability but haven't worked in 3 years either. Not sure if I could manage a job being like this now. My house is a disaster and I rarely do what I'm supposed to for my children because of my "laziness" or "distractedness".

I think these things are very common in bipolar and I know the people here aren't bad people so I try to remember that but its hard sometimes.

I hope you feel better about yourself soon

your not a bad person you are unwell and mental health is an illness and you are no way lazy your trying your hardiest to live with your illness that dont make you bad it makes you someone who is trying to survive life