[99fairies]

I passed out tonight. it's from the pain. I often throw up when the pain is bad.

Frustrated.
BF had a medical setback, went off the rails and now I'm here with questions I can't get answers to because he's passed out. (I tried earlier and didn't get far, I'll spare you the details, but I was not pleased to come home to this ... situation... after running an errand for him after work...)

I feel like I've said too much, but here I am again, trapped in my own mind and nowhere to go with even that much.

Tired too. Deeply tired.

I'm really worried about tomorrow. I see my psych nurse and it's supposed to snow 6-8 inches. Im still new at driving and I'm scared to drive in the snow. Really no experience with it. I also have to get meds and pick up syringes for my cat tiger. He's diabetic.

I need to get groceries as well and need my son's help carrying them up the stairs with my hurt knee and he has a strained back right now. Don't know how I'll manage that.

I'm just worried. I've been more anxious lately. It sucks.

Hugs to those who need them.

[LadyShadow]

I'm actually doing pretty well. Need to get to bed a little earlier tonight. Big day tomorrow!

[Wild Coyote]

Pushed myself to go on a date with DH. Turns out it was 8 hours long. He took me shopping for clothes and jewelry. I need a new wardrobe. The jewelry is beautiful!
Then out to dinner.

How lucky am I?

He took me on Tues. because he must work on Wed. (Valentine's Day).

I am now lying awake in agony... pain from Fibromyalgia, Psoriatic Arthritis, and neuropathic pain. I was on my feet too long.

Even so, I am very lucky.


WC

[Cornucopia]

Sorry about all the pain you have, WC . You really deserved that wonderful date


It makes me happy when I read about those small moments of happiness in all the despair. (Not that all of them are small, some are big as well).

I wish for everyone to have more of those happy moments in their lives, and less of the bad ones.

Hugs for those needing them


May you all have as wonderful day as possible considering all circumstances each and everyone has going.

Some are going through so much struggling, and still coping- you are really strong people. Never forget that.

[Wander]

Saw my T today. He thinks I’m mixed with psychosis and should take more Haldol. He also suggested I take the weekend off work but I’m hesitant to do that as I’ve just taken off two weeks holidays. Still, I feel like I’m truly losing my mind at times. I’m scared, then happy, then crazy, then suicidal, then ok and then scared again. It is a roller coaster that I want off. See my pdoc on Tuesday, maybe he will have some ideas how to help me. University starts back in 10 days and I feel like I’m having a breakdown. Aghhh!

[BPQuestions]

I havnt taken one if my new meds yet. I know its dumb but Im kinda afraid to take them.

I am so glad you had a glorious day with your husband, WC!!

(Terribly sorry about the physical cost of course, and I hope that resolves soon, but so happy for you to have had the the break.)

[Moreta]

Other than life being lame and my body not working, I feel better today. Could go with my hands being less jerky though. Emailed pdoc though. I'm super tired from having to take a klonopin last night. My smart coffee shipped yesterday though and will be here friday. can't wait to have some energy and to be able to think clearly. My friend is coming over saturday and we're going to go to the mall so hopefully my feet won't hurt so bad. I think I sprained my toe yesterday. It's not like I don't already have another bum toe. Stupid Apgar luck - what can go wrong, will. Lame. I hope today is better mood wise. I kinda feel like crying though cause things are going wrong and I don't have anyone to help me with them.

[Tucson]

I made dinner and dessert for my daughter with her help. She will be turning 18 tomorrow. We made chicken etouffee and cheese cake. The Philadelphia cheese cake turned out perfectly. The etouffee was good except I made it too brown which altered its taste. I also used too much cayenne pepper. Chicken Etouffee is a french influenced Cajun dish that is rich and good. Adding an extra stick of butter to the sauce helped too.

For Valentine’s Day, my daughter gave me a box of candies. We have been having our troubles lately. She treats me poorly, particularity when I am giving her much needed advice. She thinks she has everything under control, except in never turns out that way. Oh well. She will have to learn the hard way.

[LadyShadow]

It is a real weird one. I only slept for three hours and I feel fully rested. I didn't have any Seroquel to take last night, so I doubled up on the Klonopin, (probably not the best idea), and I woke up with a weird feeling in my stomach. It's not really hunger, just a weird kind of emptiness.

God help me if I ever figure out how being bipolar works.

[hopeless2015]

Doing ok today. Hugs everyone!

[liveforsummer]

Hi everyone, it’s been a little while since I posted. Happy day!

Been having mixed spells. Ranging from ok to mildly depressed to horrible anxiety (catastrophisizing -not sure of spelling?-to the point I curl up in bed, take an Ativan, cry and wait for it to pass). Saw new therapist today. Seemed nice. Just don’t think therapy is for me. Just another person to tell my story to and these days the less the better. Seeing pdoc is enough and I like and trust her. Life is easier if I keep to myself and not participate in social interaction right now.
Thanks for listening. It helps knowing you all “get it”

[BPQuestions]

Im a mess right now. blah

[emgreen]

The angle of the sun & the brightness of it on the snow is making me feel better than I've felt in a long time...Hopefully not too good, though.

[Unrigged64072835]

Started with a sinus headache after the CPAP machine ran out of water. I've been drinking lots of fluids and it seems to have improved. Finally was well enough to get my hair done. Went in early so my stylist could pick her son from school. She really appreciated that.

Other than that it's been another quiet day. My husband is cooking a Cornish game hen and I'm making the side dish. My daughter didn't want that so she's eating leftovers. Her boyfriend is working and won't be home until 10PM.

Other than being sick I'm okay.

[leomama]

Feeling super annoyed with the unfairness of life.

Day 3 of my lowered dose of lamictal. My manager said something about needing to reduce the tension at work today. I told her I felt blamed for it. At any rate, a lot has happened this week so far and its like, 'um, am I sure this is the right decision? am I sure I can do this?'

I looked at our labor statistics and I serve thousands of customers a week and I'm often front and center in our store. I'm like 'am I in the right line of work?'

At any rate I have my one on one with my manager in a couple of weeks and I already started to talk to her about things like deployment and I mentioned to a supervisor it would really help me to know where I'm going every day before I get there, or at least before I punch in.

I started talking to my manager about where I'm best when I'm freshest.

My therapist was like 'don't tell them you're bipolar, just talk about strengths and weaknesses'.

Its kind of shocking to me how selfish everyone is in some ways. I was older then everyone at work today and I was the only person in my position.

I'll be honest with y'all, I HATE being submissive and at my age, and after what I've done, who wouldn't?

*sigh*

Tomorrow I have to work with the supervisor who sent me home early on Monday...

[bizi]

Asked my pdoc to raise my zyprexa to 5 mg at night for hypomania.
She agreed. then found out they did not make another appointment so had to reschedule for the next week. hate that when they screw up. thankfully it doesn't happen very often!
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Trying to put on a good front, while feeling defeated, overwhelmed and ready to fold.

I am additionally disturbed by the school shooting tragedy in Parkland, Florida, U.S.A. What a tragedy, in every way.

Trying to face the days, when I really want to crawl back into bed and hide.

Maybe today will be a better day?


WC

[Moreta]

Son of a *****, my left eye hurts. Always has to be something. It's my left eye this time. Usually it's my right eye. Why can't I just be ****ing healthy for once.

it is a difficult day today.

found out early this morning that a member of our family had passed away in hospital
why it's difficult is simple... we don't know how to react or take the news.

like, we want to act "normal", and sad, and all that stuff, but this woman's last words to us were... I hope you die in hell, so we don't exactly have the emotions that we perhaps should be displaying, but also feel bad for not feeling sad.. well we do feel sad and stuff...... a little.... hard to know how we feel

[Zigy]

I feel strangely better since yesterday. I haven't felt like this in a year or more. Still a little sad and down but nothing like earlier and anxiety is very mild. I went up on Lamictal a month ago. I wonder if that finally helped because I was suspecting that Lamictal wasn't doing anything. I'm taking a day off tomorrow to have a long weekend.

[whoamihere]

I'm slipping into a very dark, depressed state. Pdoc upped my Welbutrin on Monday, I'm crossing my fingers it can pull me back up

[leomama]

Used a melatonin spray last night to help with sleep.

I’m doubting my ability to go off my medication but I’m still committed to the idea. I can’t afford to be dependent on a pill at this point in my life. I am determined to get better.